I'm broken! D:
Seriously! I was diagnosed with yet ANOTHER medical condition: Neurocardiogenic (Vasodepressor) Syncope.
Now my list of medical conditions is:
-Tourette Syndrome (with the added benefit of its sister disorders OCD and paranoia): Neurotransmitters function incorrectly (aka brain is broken!)
-Neurocardiogenic (Vasodepressor) Syncope: My arteries don't work properly, so I faint daily/get dizzy and can't see or hear (everything goes black) if I stand too long.
-A currently undiagnosed dietary issue that won't let me eat oils or sugar. I seriously live on rice, vegetables, raw fish, and plantains. If I end up getting Colitis like my mother I am going to throw something at the wall.
But I got a pretty shirt! :D So I am cheering up already. (And yes, those ridiculously long nails are my natural nails.
Tourette-induced OCD: is horrible. Terrible. I had a terrible time with it today, and I just need to rant. Doctors call it "ritual behavior", but really it's just really really bad OCD. On an average day, this is what it makes me do:
1. I am psychologically drawn to the number 20. You know those wackos on Criminal Minds who do things in certain numbers? Yep, that's me. Everything has to be 20. At any moment of the day, I'll have to stop what I'm doing and count things. I can't stop until I count 20 groups of 20. That's 20 letters in a sentence, 20 syllables in a sentence, 20 bits of anything everywhere, 20 dashes that make up the time on digital clocks, etc. Taking a timed test? SUCKS
2. I have to do "ritual" things in order to do ANYTHING. The following is how I listen to music:
+ Index fingers in the corners of the ipod screen. Thumbs replace index fingers once song starts.
+ I must know how long the song is.
+ The backlight must be off.
+ If any of these requirements aren't met, I have to restart the song. It can take me 30 minutes to listen to a 3 minute song.
3. Everything must feel the same! That means if I touch something cold with my left hand, I immediately need to make the exact same spot on my right hand cold too. If I don't, I flip and have one hell of a panic attack. This goes for things that are hot or sharp too. I burned my hand on the stove today while cooking, so I had to burn my other hand in order to "feel right". Now both of my palms are burned and hurt like fuck, but that's ok because they feel the same.
4. Those "don't touch" signs drive me insane. Whenever I see one, I have to touch whatever it is I can't touch or else I feel insane. Ugh.
There's more but now I don't feel angry anymore and therefore have no more energy to rant.
This entry was originally posted at http://birdiebot.dreamwidth.org/4516.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Now my list of medical conditions is:
-Tourette Syndrome (with the added benefit of its sister disorders OCD and paranoia): Neurotransmitters function incorrectly (aka brain is broken!)
-Neurocardiogenic (Vasodepressor) Syncope: My arteries don't work properly, so I faint daily/get dizzy and can't see or hear (everything goes black) if I stand too long.
-A currently undiagnosed dietary issue that won't let me eat oils or sugar. I seriously live on rice, vegetables, raw fish, and plantains. If I end up getting Colitis like my mother I am going to throw something at the wall.
But I got a pretty shirt! :D So I am cheering up already. (And yes, those ridiculously long nails are my natural nails.
Tourette-induced OCD: is horrible. Terrible. I had a terrible time with it today, and I just need to rant. Doctors call it "ritual behavior", but really it's just really really bad OCD. On an average day, this is what it makes me do:
1. I am psychologically drawn to the number 20. You know those wackos on Criminal Minds who do things in certain numbers? Yep, that's me. Everything has to be 20. At any moment of the day, I'll have to stop what I'm doing and count things. I can't stop until I count 20 groups of 20. That's 20 letters in a sentence, 20 syllables in a sentence, 20 bits of anything everywhere, 20 dashes that make up the time on digital clocks, etc. Taking a timed test? SUCKS
2. I have to do "ritual" things in order to do ANYTHING. The following is how I listen to music:
+ Index fingers in the corners of the ipod screen. Thumbs replace index fingers once song starts.
+ I must know how long the song is.
+ The backlight must be off.
+ If any of these requirements aren't met, I have to restart the song. It can take me 30 minutes to listen to a 3 minute song.
3. Everything must feel the same! That means if I touch something cold with my left hand, I immediately need to make the exact same spot on my right hand cold too. If I don't, I flip and have one hell of a panic attack. This goes for things that are hot or sharp too. I burned my hand on the stove today while cooking, so I had to burn my other hand in order to "feel right". Now both of my palms are burned and hurt like fuck, but that's ok because they feel the same.
4. Those "don't touch" signs drive me insane. Whenever I see one, I have to touch whatever it is I can't touch or else I feel insane. Ugh.
There's more but now I don't feel angry anymore and therefore have no more energy to rant.
This entry was originally posted at http://birdiebot.dreamwidth.org/4516.html. Please comment there using OpenID.