(no subject)
thinking about good times makes me feel a little sick to the stomach as well. and a lot of other things.
I'm not looking foward to the show tonight. Even if everything is my fault, I am mad. Because I've thought about it, and everything I've done is justified. might not be completly fair or understanding, but it's justified. my days of fair and understanding are over.
I can be a little bitch for a while until I am sick of myself enough to change.
my mental state doesn't translate over into anything else. as i type this I am having lots of cheery conversations.
Even if I understand everything and all of this, I am still angry enough to hate her guts. and it still hurts.
if this keeps up, soon I won't feel anything at all. and that's scary. but maybe it is best.
She makes me sick. I hate her for forgetting. I hate her because I still don't know why it all ended. I hate her because there were so many things that we had together, and they vanished. that was a hard blow.
My heart can only take so many knocks before it breaks, and I have a broken heart.
I'm not looking foward to the show tonight. Even if everything is my fault, I am mad. Because I've thought about it, and everything I've done is justified. might not be completly fair or understanding, but it's justified. my days of fair and understanding are over.
I can be a little bitch for a while until I am sick of myself enough to change.
my mental state doesn't translate over into anything else. as i type this I am having lots of cheery conversations.
Even if I understand everything and all of this, I am still angry enough to hate her guts. and it still hurts.
if this keeps up, soon I won't feel anything at all. and that's scary. but maybe it is best.
She makes me sick. I hate her for forgetting. I hate her because I still don't know why it all ended. I hate her because there were so many things that we had together, and they vanished. that was a hard blow.
My heart can only take so many knocks before it breaks, and I have a broken heart.