so life is crappy
i know one major thing, i care so much about matt it hurts. last night i messed up and last night i got caught messing up and now i get to pay for it,and i ended up breaking up with the person i care about the most. being with him is one of the things that brings me happiness, it brings me comfort it brings me every emotion there is as and i know that i want to be with him but i want it to be his choice. i dont want to lose him and losing him is .. hopefully not goin to happen. he is the boy of my dreams, well at least my dreams right now. i didnt even get upset about everything that happened, except when i thought about matt. he is .. so much. well
off topic me and emily are both in lock down together. life is ironic in that way, at least its the same time. i am thinkin about going away to school early, going in summer instead of fall. i have to leave here, i hate it here. i need to leave more than i have to i need to. everyone close to me should know that. i give up on many things and if stay much longer i may begin to give up my dreams and they are to dear to me to do that. hell. i am in love.. and i'm going to leave him soon to get.. away. damn i wish he could come with me.
off topic me and emily are both in lock down together. life is ironic in that way, at least its the same time. i am thinkin about going away to school early, going in summer instead of fall. i have to leave here, i hate it here. i need to leave more than i have to i need to. everyone close to me should know that. i give up on many things and if stay much longer i may begin to give up my dreams and they are to dear to me to do that. hell. i am in love.. and i'm going to leave him soon to get.. away. damn i wish he could come with me.