(no subject)
I'm feeling somewhat contemplative at the moment. Probably because I have been reading so much, and when I do that I tend to think everything out as if I were narrating a book about it all in my head. It's kind of annoying actually hah >.>
I've been kind of in a "funk" the last week or two, with this week being the worst, I can say that now that I've finally realized it has been going on. I don't usually realize it's happened until about 2 weeks into it. I think I can attribute most of it to the fact that I quit taking my medicine once again for the millionth time, (and pms, tmi deal with it.) and when I do I feel like crap and act even lovelier. Needless to say it's always rough on Nate and I, and I'm not as nice to my kids as I should be. So of course when I realized that I hadn't been taking them for a couple weeks and I was being a jerk to everyone, I started again. I have to deal with the side-effects for a couple of days, and then all is well again. I don't know why I end up not taking them in the first place, I think I just forget one day, and then just keep forgetting, and hate to start again because I hate starting the cycle over and over. I'm so inconsistent.
This is the worst I have felt in a while though, I remember this is how I used to feel all the time before I ever got the medicine prescribed, and I don't think I have felt this low since then. I just feel totally crappy, unmotivated (beyond my normal "unmotivation" :P), fat, ugly, you name it.. haha. I alienate myself from people, I don't want to be around them. I'm really, really quick to anger and very impatient, and just generally depressed.
I love Chopin.
Well yay, my oldest sister just msgd me on MSN and told me she is coming down to visit next weekend. That will be nice. Her oldest daughter is the one that just married Nate's brother lol. So that is something to look forward too :)
haha that whole entry turned out way more dramatic sounding and obnoxious than I meant.. it's all the gosh dang reading I tell ya! lol :P
I've been kind of in a "funk" the last week or two, with this week being the worst, I can say that now that I've finally realized it has been going on. I don't usually realize it's happened until about 2 weeks into it. I think I can attribute most of it to the fact that I quit taking my medicine once again for the millionth time, (and pms, tmi deal with it.) and when I do I feel like crap and act even lovelier. Needless to say it's always rough on Nate and I, and I'm not as nice to my kids as I should be. So of course when I realized that I hadn't been taking them for a couple weeks and I was being a jerk to everyone, I started again. I have to deal with the side-effects for a couple of days, and then all is well again. I don't know why I end up not taking them in the first place, I think I just forget one day, and then just keep forgetting, and hate to start again because I hate starting the cycle over and over. I'm so inconsistent.
This is the worst I have felt in a while though, I remember this is how I used to feel all the time before I ever got the medicine prescribed, and I don't think I have felt this low since then. I just feel totally crappy, unmotivated (beyond my normal "unmotivation" :P), fat, ugly, you name it.. haha. I alienate myself from people, I don't want to be around them. I'm really, really quick to anger and very impatient, and just generally depressed.
I love Chopin.
Well yay, my oldest sister just msgd me on MSN and told me she is coming down to visit next weekend. That will be nice. Her oldest daughter is the one that just married Nate's brother lol. So that is something to look forward too :)
haha that whole entry turned out way more dramatic sounding and obnoxious than I meant.. it's all the gosh dang reading I tell ya! lol :P