Sugar and Pepper (40)
THIRTY-NINE
* FORTY *
01.
On his trip home, Satoshi's heart raced with excitement. Despite the flight being many hours, he knew he would have a difficult time sleeping. He longed to be back home, to be inside his and Jun's bedroom again. His seat on the plane was by the window and he stared out bright-eyed as if he could catch sight of the island in the distance.
When the flight attendant stopped by his seat, he was so deep inside his own head that his neighbor had to get his attention. Embarrassed once he realized what was going on, he declined the offering of refreshments.
"Are you Japanese?" his neighbor asked him in perfect English when the flight attendant left.
Satoshi understood just enough of her English to nod his head. He turned to look out the window again. His neighbor refused to be ignored however.
"Are you going home or just visiting family?" she asked.
He blushed at her question. He'd only caught and understood two words. Satoshi could only shake his head in answer.
His neighbor looked put out for a second and then she searched inside her bag. She took out an English to Japanese self study book and flipped through it. In broken deeply accented Japanese she asked him instead, "Do you live in Japan?"
Satoshi nodded at her. He saw her smile in return and relief flooded him. He wasn't good with speaking to strangers, but she seemed harmless and genuinely friendly.
02.
Although they could only barely understand each other, they continued their conversation easily. If he paused or hesitated, she was socially adept and filled in. Satoshi found himself speaking more to a stranger than he had ever done to his family and friends.
Maybe it was because she was someone he didn't know. Or maybe it was because she would not understand everything he said. Or the most probable was because he missed his home and Jun. He spoke slowly, hesitantly, but always with his feelings.
"I have a younger brother named, Jun," Satoshi told his neighbor. "He's..." he faltered, and then forced himself to say the truth. "He's my most important person."
His neighbor smiled at him, understanding that little bit of it. "That's cute. Will Jun be waiting for you at the airport?" As an afterthought she added in Japanese, "Jun wait for you?"
Satoshi momentarily recoiled from her question. His automatic answer was no. Jun wasn't waiting for him. In fact, Satoshi meant nothing to his younger brother now. But even though he knew it, he couldn't say all of that.
"No," he managed to say. "Jun's busy."
"Oh," his neighbor said, expressing sympathy. "That's too bad. I would've liked to see him."
03.
They arrived in Japan hours later. At the airport terminal, his neighbor and new acquaintance helped him pick out his bags and walked with him to the exit. Once they reached the double doors, she stopped and waved at him.
"It was nice meeting you, Satoshi," she said. "I hope you have a great day."
He didn't think she'd actually leave him first and was surprised, but Satoshi recovered and raised his hand in a farewell gesture. She smiled at him and he nodded at her before she picked up her own bags and left without a backwards glance.
Standing alone at the exit, Satoshi realized he had appreciated her company on the trip. He should have said something to her, too, but it was too late to regret. He took deep breaths and grabbed his own bags also. He wondered if his mother and step-father would be waiting for him outside. He knew Jun wouldn't be there. Satoshi's heart rammed against his chest as fear that no one would be there waiting for him curdled inside of him.
Mustering his courage, he entered the waiting lobby and tentatively craned his head to look around. The beating of his heart continued as he saw no familiar face. Maybe no one remembered. Maybe Jun didn't even know that he was returning today.
"Satoshi!" he heard a woman call out and he turned to see his mother and father eagerly waving at him.
Relief washed over him and with it a smile. He saw his mother pause, surprised at his reaction, and then graced him with a large smile of her own. He reached them and Mr. Matsumoto patted his shoulder before reaching to take some of his bags.
"It's great to have you back," his mother said, beaming at him.
His fears had been unfounded, Satoshi knew.
04.
In the car, he stared out the window while his parents asked him about his trip. Satoshi answered with long pauses and short replies, but they did not mind. He watched as familiar surroundings passed outside his window, thinking that he wanted to appreciate everything that he had now.
"Thank you," he said all of a sudden to his parents but directing it to no one in particular.
His mother started and his step-father drove on silently. They were uncertain of why he had blurted it out, but his mother giggled and turned in her seat to look back at him.
"You're welcome," she said.
Satoshi felt heat climb up his face and hunched lower in his seat, wishing he could turn invisible. He wondered why he'd blurted it out like that, but at the same time he was glad to have said it. His mother and step-father were smiling and had contentedly moved on to discuss every day mundane things, leaving him alone for the moment.
With relief came exhaustion. Weariness from his flight and the change of time zone slowly caught up to Satoshi. Listening to his parents' murmured conversation, he sank against the backseat. He closed his eyes and allowed his body to relax.
05.
Satoshi was gently shaken awake. He opened his eyes to the kind face of his step-father.
"Run upstairs to bed," Mr. Matsumoto told him. "I'll drop off your things for you."
Satoshi was too tired to say his thanks. Grateful and just a bit shy to be caught drowsing, he followed his step-father's advice and went up to his and Jun's room. He contemplated pulling out the futon, but was too tired to do it and threw himself on Jun's bed after mumbling his apologies. Satoshi fell back to sleep within moments of snuggling into the covers and inhaling Jun's scent, imagining it wrapped around him.
06.
Running footsteps thundering through the household woke him and when Satoshi sat upright blinking rapidly into the room, the sun had already set casting the room into dimness. He had slept through the day and already night was falling. For a moment, he felt disoriented and out of place, feeling a loss of time.
Then the door to his bedroom flung open and bright light filtered in from the hallway, blinding him. Satoshi made out a shape standing by the doorway. His eyes adjusted and he saw that it was Jun. His younger brother was still in his school uniform having just returned from school. Jun had run upstairs once he returned and learned that Satoshi had come back.
Satoshi's heart thudded in his chest. A flood of feelings, of nostalgia, of love and heartache engulfed him. Unbeknownst to him, tears clouded his eyes, but he held them back. He knew he had missed his brother, but until he finally saw his brother the pain hadn't been a true reality. Currently it seeped into every pore of his body while Jun continued to stand in the bedroom doorway, both of them watching each other. Satoshi waited for his brother to say something, to most likely tell him off. Or worst, maybe ignore him, pretend he wasn't there as he had before Satoshi left.
But then Jun straightened and took a deep breath. He gave Satoshi a small, sad smile. "Welcome home," he said.
Satoshi ran his sleeve across his eyes and sniffed. He also took a deep breath, his heart filling with affection for his brother. At last he said, "I'm home."
* *
FORTY-ONE
* FORTY *
01.
On his trip home, Satoshi's heart raced with excitement. Despite the flight being many hours, he knew he would have a difficult time sleeping. He longed to be back home, to be inside his and Jun's bedroom again. His seat on the plane was by the window and he stared out bright-eyed as if he could catch sight of the island in the distance.
When the flight attendant stopped by his seat, he was so deep inside his own head that his neighbor had to get his attention. Embarrassed once he realized what was going on, he declined the offering of refreshments.
"Are you Japanese?" his neighbor asked him in perfect English when the flight attendant left.
Satoshi understood just enough of her English to nod his head. He turned to look out the window again. His neighbor refused to be ignored however.
"Are you going home or just visiting family?" she asked.
He blushed at her question. He'd only caught and understood two words. Satoshi could only shake his head in answer.
His neighbor looked put out for a second and then she searched inside her bag. She took out an English to Japanese self study book and flipped through it. In broken deeply accented Japanese she asked him instead, "Do you live in Japan?"
Satoshi nodded at her. He saw her smile in return and relief flooded him. He wasn't good with speaking to strangers, but she seemed harmless and genuinely friendly.
02.
Although they could only barely understand each other, they continued their conversation easily. If he paused or hesitated, she was socially adept and filled in. Satoshi found himself speaking more to a stranger than he had ever done to his family and friends.
Maybe it was because she was someone he didn't know. Or maybe it was because she would not understand everything he said. Or the most probable was because he missed his home and Jun. He spoke slowly, hesitantly, but always with his feelings.
"I have a younger brother named, Jun," Satoshi told his neighbor. "He's..." he faltered, and then forced himself to say the truth. "He's my most important person."
His neighbor smiled at him, understanding that little bit of it. "That's cute. Will Jun be waiting for you at the airport?" As an afterthought she added in Japanese, "Jun wait for you?"
Satoshi momentarily recoiled from her question. His automatic answer was no. Jun wasn't waiting for him. In fact, Satoshi meant nothing to his younger brother now. But even though he knew it, he couldn't say all of that.
"No," he managed to say. "Jun's busy."
"Oh," his neighbor said, expressing sympathy. "That's too bad. I would've liked to see him."
03.
They arrived in Japan hours later. At the airport terminal, his neighbor and new acquaintance helped him pick out his bags and walked with him to the exit. Once they reached the double doors, she stopped and waved at him.
"It was nice meeting you, Satoshi," she said. "I hope you have a great day."
He didn't think she'd actually leave him first and was surprised, but Satoshi recovered and raised his hand in a farewell gesture. She smiled at him and he nodded at her before she picked up her own bags and left without a backwards glance.
Standing alone at the exit, Satoshi realized he had appreciated her company on the trip. He should have said something to her, too, but it was too late to regret. He took deep breaths and grabbed his own bags also. He wondered if his mother and step-father would be waiting for him outside. He knew Jun wouldn't be there. Satoshi's heart rammed against his chest as fear that no one would be there waiting for him curdled inside of him.
Mustering his courage, he entered the waiting lobby and tentatively craned his head to look around. The beating of his heart continued as he saw no familiar face. Maybe no one remembered. Maybe Jun didn't even know that he was returning today.
"Satoshi!" he heard a woman call out and he turned to see his mother and father eagerly waving at him.
Relief washed over him and with it a smile. He saw his mother pause, surprised at his reaction, and then graced him with a large smile of her own. He reached them and Mr. Matsumoto patted his shoulder before reaching to take some of his bags.
"It's great to have you back," his mother said, beaming at him.
His fears had been unfounded, Satoshi knew.
04.
In the car, he stared out the window while his parents asked him about his trip. Satoshi answered with long pauses and short replies, but they did not mind. He watched as familiar surroundings passed outside his window, thinking that he wanted to appreciate everything that he had now.
"Thank you," he said all of a sudden to his parents but directing it to no one in particular.
His mother started and his step-father drove on silently. They were uncertain of why he had blurted it out, but his mother giggled and turned in her seat to look back at him.
"You're welcome," she said.
Satoshi felt heat climb up his face and hunched lower in his seat, wishing he could turn invisible. He wondered why he'd blurted it out like that, but at the same time he was glad to have said it. His mother and step-father were smiling and had contentedly moved on to discuss every day mundane things, leaving him alone for the moment.
With relief came exhaustion. Weariness from his flight and the change of time zone slowly caught up to Satoshi. Listening to his parents' murmured conversation, he sank against the backseat. He closed his eyes and allowed his body to relax.
05.
Satoshi was gently shaken awake. He opened his eyes to the kind face of his step-father.
"Run upstairs to bed," Mr. Matsumoto told him. "I'll drop off your things for you."
Satoshi was too tired to say his thanks. Grateful and just a bit shy to be caught drowsing, he followed his step-father's advice and went up to his and Jun's room. He contemplated pulling out the futon, but was too tired to do it and threw himself on Jun's bed after mumbling his apologies. Satoshi fell back to sleep within moments of snuggling into the covers and inhaling Jun's scent, imagining it wrapped around him.
06.
Running footsteps thundering through the household woke him and when Satoshi sat upright blinking rapidly into the room, the sun had already set casting the room into dimness. He had slept through the day and already night was falling. For a moment, he felt disoriented and out of place, feeling a loss of time.
Then the door to his bedroom flung open and bright light filtered in from the hallway, blinding him. Satoshi made out a shape standing by the doorway. His eyes adjusted and he saw that it was Jun. His younger brother was still in his school uniform having just returned from school. Jun had run upstairs once he returned and learned that Satoshi had come back.
Satoshi's heart thudded in his chest. A flood of feelings, of nostalgia, of love and heartache engulfed him. Unbeknownst to him, tears clouded his eyes, but he held them back. He knew he had missed his brother, but until he finally saw his brother the pain hadn't been a true reality. Currently it seeped into every pore of his body while Jun continued to stand in the bedroom doorway, both of them watching each other. Satoshi waited for his brother to say something, to most likely tell him off. Or worst, maybe ignore him, pretend he wasn't there as he had before Satoshi left.
But then Jun straightened and took a deep breath. He gave Satoshi a small, sad smile. "Welcome home," he said.
Satoshi ran his sleeve across his eyes and sniffed. He also took a deep breath, his heart filling with affection for his brother. At last he said, "I'm home."
* *
FORTY-ONE