Sugar and Pepper (32)
THIRTY-ONE
* THIRTY-TWO *
01.
With the setting sun at their backs, they walked together in the warm chill of early autumn in comfortable silence. Once he had released most of his burden and were considerably lighter, Jun gratefully stepped back beside Satoshi. At once, the older boy woke from his sleepy stupor. Jun cheerfully looked at his watch and then crossed his arms, the gift bag stuffed with his presents swinging on one arm. They had a few hours before midnight.
They crossed the school gates into the neighborhood safely removed from the prying eyes of their schoolmates.
"It's not too late to wish me a happy birthday," Jun said.
Satoshi wordlessly offered to hold Jun's gifts for him. Jun shrugged and allowed him to do as he wished, but he wouldn't let it end there. He used the opportunity to link their arms together.
"Don't you have something to say to me?"
Satoshi thought about it. He would come out and say everything straightforwardly. "I think... I don't like it when you're around a lot of people."
His confession at once baffled Jun and made him happy. Teasingly, he asked, "You don't mean you're jealous?"
Satoshi flushed. He hadn't thought about it that way, but now that Jun said it he couldn't deny it. Was it all just jealousy?
Jun allowed his older brother some breathing space and changed the flow of conversation. "Actually, I was angry this morning and jealous. I thought you had forgotten my birthday. I didn't care what we did. I only wanted to be with you. Just the two of us." He took a deep breath and craned his neck back to watch the quickly darkening sky. He admitted, "I also don't want to share you with anyone."
His admission surprised Satoshi and pleased him as well. So he wasn't the only one who felt that way; Jun understood. Jun felt the same as him.
Jun's arm noticeably tightened around Satoshi's and the older boy gladly embraced the sense of possession it gave him.
"Are you scared of the future, Satoshi?"
Satoshi nodded. Lots. He had a lot of things to fear.
Jun agreed. "I... I'm afraid of tomorrow. I'm so happy right now. You're beside me. But then I'm scared that this won't last forever." Suddenly, his steps faltered and he stopped walking, forcing Satoshi to stop alongside him. "I wish I was older. I wish to keep this forever and ever; to keep you with me always and always. Always and always," he repeated. "I can't stop thinking about it."
Satoshi reached over and patted his arm. "Jun."
Their gazes turned to each other. There were just one small step between them.
Jun swallowed and wet his lower lips. In a murmur, he asked slowly, "Can I kiss you?"
Satoshi neither accepted or denied the request, so Jun guided them behind a tree and tilted his head. He leaned in towards Satoshi. Partially covered by the thick trunk, surrounded by the last dregs of light from the sun, and enveloped by the strong breeze of autumn, they shared a sweet and innocent kiss.
02.
They stopped by Jun's favorite batting center on their way home and paid for four games. They made a bet between them. If Jun, being far more proficient at baseball than Satoshi, batted at least double the amount of Satoshi then the birthday boy could ask anything of his older brother. If he failed to bat twice Satoshi's number, then Satoshi would be given the opportunity to ask Jun for any favor.
With confidence and in his best form, Jun won the bet easily and unsurprisingly.
They asked for a pen and a sheet of note paper from the front counter. Jun wrote the contract and they completed the promise note with their ink-stained thumb prints.
"Anything I want from you," Jun said with a grin. "I'll give you the contract once I finally think of something." Cheerfully, he folded and pocketed the scraggly piece of evidence.
Satoshi unhappily pursed his lower lip, dismayed by how much joy Jun was getting out of this, but truthfully he did not feel peeved at all. Jun's smiles seemed to have great affect on him and he found himself immensely enjoying being together; just the two of them.
They waited until they exited the building and then walked home holding hands.
03.
A little later, Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto welcomed both of them home with a cake. For the second time that day, Jun blew out the candles. He received their blessings gratefully.
Mrs. Matsumoto looked from her older son to her younger one with a naive smile on her face. "What did you do today? Did the two of you spend time together with friends?"
Satoshi often had difficulty looking into her eyes and in that moment his eyes strayed to the ground for a different reason. For the first time since he'd noticed his feelings, guilt washed over him. The happiness he had bathed in seemed to strangle him under her eyes.
"We had fun," Jun told her quietly and couldn't quite hold her gaze either.
Their parents couldn't understand the sudden tension that pervaded the atmosphere and Mr. Matsumoto nonchalantly shrugged at his wife.
"Well, I'm sure you had a great time today, but I hope you haven't forgotten that the new semester is beginning," Mrs. Matsumoto said. "I hope that the both of you are done with your summer homework."
Jun and Satoshi assured them that they had not allowed the work to pile up and were almost done.
Once Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto learned that they had eaten, they were allowed to run up to their room.
04.
Jun re-entered their bedroom after his bath and found Satoshi already curled up in bed with the lights off. He walked in and tried to climb into bed beside his brother, but found something in his way. Feeling around the covers, he touched a sketchpad. In the darkness, he made out his name on the front cover.
Jun went to his desk and turned on the lamp. He flipped through the sketchpad and his eyes fell on his brother's beautiful drawings. A delighted smile lit up his face and he suddenly pressed the drawings to his chest. He turned to Satoshi's motionless figure and asked almost breathlessly, "Really for me?"
Satoshi failed to grace him with an answer, but Jun knew him enough to know the truth. Beaming, he set the sketchpad down, turned off the lamp, and slid into bed next to his brother. His arms encircled the warm slender body next to him and he pressed his head against Satoshi's back. "Thank you," he breathed softly, gratefully, his heart full of warmth and happiness.
"Happy birthday," Satoshi managed to squeak out through his embarrassment, just before the clock struck twelve.
"I love you, Satoshi," Jun murmured against his back. "Thank you."
Slowly, Satoshi reached for Jun's arms wrapped around him and he overlapped them with his own. He squeezed Jun's hand. He felt he same. He wanted Jun to understand.
05.
An hour later, their evened breathing filled the dark room. Satoshi's mobile phone on the desk next to the discarded sketchpad beeped with a message from Mr. Ohno.
06.
In the morning, Mr. Matsumoto woke up early to prepare for work. Mrs. Matsumoto was already in the kitchen downstairs making his breakfast. He walked passed his children's bedroom. On a whim, and doing something he usually wouldn't do, he knocked on the door. He did not hear any stirring from within. Uninvited and infringing on his children's privacy, he unceremoniously opened the door and poke his head in.
He was surprised that Satoshi's futon was not laid out of the floor. When his eyes moved to the bed, he was even more surprised to see two heads pressed together. Satoshi and Jun were curled up together on the bed in peaceful slumber. He appreciated their closeness and brotherly affection, yet Mr. Matsumoto couldn't help the bothersome feeling that pervaded him. He didn't know why it nagged at him, but still he wisely knew that something wasn't right.
He closed the door behind him, exhaled in an effort to break away from the uneasiness that had settled within him, and went down the stairs.
* *
X-THIRTY-TWO.FIVE ~ THIRTY-THREE
* THIRTY-TWO *
01.
With the setting sun at their backs, they walked together in the warm chill of early autumn in comfortable silence. Once he had released most of his burden and were considerably lighter, Jun gratefully stepped back beside Satoshi. At once, the older boy woke from his sleepy stupor. Jun cheerfully looked at his watch and then crossed his arms, the gift bag stuffed with his presents swinging on one arm. They had a few hours before midnight.
They crossed the school gates into the neighborhood safely removed from the prying eyes of their schoolmates.
"It's not too late to wish me a happy birthday," Jun said.
Satoshi wordlessly offered to hold Jun's gifts for him. Jun shrugged and allowed him to do as he wished, but he wouldn't let it end there. He used the opportunity to link their arms together.
"Don't you have something to say to me?"
Satoshi thought about it. He would come out and say everything straightforwardly. "I think... I don't like it when you're around a lot of people."
His confession at once baffled Jun and made him happy. Teasingly, he asked, "You don't mean you're jealous?"
Satoshi flushed. He hadn't thought about it that way, but now that Jun said it he couldn't deny it. Was it all just jealousy?
Jun allowed his older brother some breathing space and changed the flow of conversation. "Actually, I was angry this morning and jealous. I thought you had forgotten my birthday. I didn't care what we did. I only wanted to be with you. Just the two of us." He took a deep breath and craned his neck back to watch the quickly darkening sky. He admitted, "I also don't want to share you with anyone."
His admission surprised Satoshi and pleased him as well. So he wasn't the only one who felt that way; Jun understood. Jun felt the same as him.
Jun's arm noticeably tightened around Satoshi's and the older boy gladly embraced the sense of possession it gave him.
"Are you scared of the future, Satoshi?"
Satoshi nodded. Lots. He had a lot of things to fear.
Jun agreed. "I... I'm afraid of tomorrow. I'm so happy right now. You're beside me. But then I'm scared that this won't last forever." Suddenly, his steps faltered and he stopped walking, forcing Satoshi to stop alongside him. "I wish I was older. I wish to keep this forever and ever; to keep you with me always and always. Always and always," he repeated. "I can't stop thinking about it."
Satoshi reached over and patted his arm. "Jun."
Their gazes turned to each other. There were just one small step between them.
Jun swallowed and wet his lower lips. In a murmur, he asked slowly, "Can I kiss you?"
Satoshi neither accepted or denied the request, so Jun guided them behind a tree and tilted his head. He leaned in towards Satoshi. Partially covered by the thick trunk, surrounded by the last dregs of light from the sun, and enveloped by the strong breeze of autumn, they shared a sweet and innocent kiss.
02.
They stopped by Jun's favorite batting center on their way home and paid for four games. They made a bet between them. If Jun, being far more proficient at baseball than Satoshi, batted at least double the amount of Satoshi then the birthday boy could ask anything of his older brother. If he failed to bat twice Satoshi's number, then Satoshi would be given the opportunity to ask Jun for any favor.
With confidence and in his best form, Jun won the bet easily and unsurprisingly.
They asked for a pen and a sheet of note paper from the front counter. Jun wrote the contract and they completed the promise note with their ink-stained thumb prints.
"Anything I want from you," Jun said with a grin. "I'll give you the contract once I finally think of something." Cheerfully, he folded and pocketed the scraggly piece of evidence.
Satoshi unhappily pursed his lower lip, dismayed by how much joy Jun was getting out of this, but truthfully he did not feel peeved at all. Jun's smiles seemed to have great affect on him and he found himself immensely enjoying being together; just the two of them.
They waited until they exited the building and then walked home holding hands.
03.
A little later, Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto welcomed both of them home with a cake. For the second time that day, Jun blew out the candles. He received their blessings gratefully.
Mrs. Matsumoto looked from her older son to her younger one with a naive smile on her face. "What did you do today? Did the two of you spend time together with friends?"
Satoshi often had difficulty looking into her eyes and in that moment his eyes strayed to the ground for a different reason. For the first time since he'd noticed his feelings, guilt washed over him. The happiness he had bathed in seemed to strangle him under her eyes.
"We had fun," Jun told her quietly and couldn't quite hold her gaze either.
Their parents couldn't understand the sudden tension that pervaded the atmosphere and Mr. Matsumoto nonchalantly shrugged at his wife.
"Well, I'm sure you had a great time today, but I hope you haven't forgotten that the new semester is beginning," Mrs. Matsumoto said. "I hope that the both of you are done with your summer homework."
Jun and Satoshi assured them that they had not allowed the work to pile up and were almost done.
Once Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto learned that they had eaten, they were allowed to run up to their room.
04.
Jun re-entered their bedroom after his bath and found Satoshi already curled up in bed with the lights off. He walked in and tried to climb into bed beside his brother, but found something in his way. Feeling around the covers, he touched a sketchpad. In the darkness, he made out his name on the front cover.
Jun went to his desk and turned on the lamp. He flipped through the sketchpad and his eyes fell on his brother's beautiful drawings. A delighted smile lit up his face and he suddenly pressed the drawings to his chest. He turned to Satoshi's motionless figure and asked almost breathlessly, "Really for me?"
Satoshi failed to grace him with an answer, but Jun knew him enough to know the truth. Beaming, he set the sketchpad down, turned off the lamp, and slid into bed next to his brother. His arms encircled the warm slender body next to him and he pressed his head against Satoshi's back. "Thank you," he breathed softly, gratefully, his heart full of warmth and happiness.
"Happy birthday," Satoshi managed to squeak out through his embarrassment, just before the clock struck twelve.
"I love you, Satoshi," Jun murmured against his back. "Thank you."
Slowly, Satoshi reached for Jun's arms wrapped around him and he overlapped them with his own. He squeezed Jun's hand. He felt he same. He wanted Jun to understand.
05.
An hour later, their evened breathing filled the dark room. Satoshi's mobile phone on the desk next to the discarded sketchpad beeped with a message from Mr. Ohno.
06.
In the morning, Mr. Matsumoto woke up early to prepare for work. Mrs. Matsumoto was already in the kitchen downstairs making his breakfast. He walked passed his children's bedroom. On a whim, and doing something he usually wouldn't do, he knocked on the door. He did not hear any stirring from within. Uninvited and infringing on his children's privacy, he unceremoniously opened the door and poke his head in.
He was surprised that Satoshi's futon was not laid out of the floor. When his eyes moved to the bed, he was even more surprised to see two heads pressed together. Satoshi and Jun were curled up together on the bed in peaceful slumber. He appreciated their closeness and brotherly affection, yet Mr. Matsumoto couldn't help the bothersome feeling that pervaded him. He didn't know why it nagged at him, but still he wisely knew that something wasn't right.
He closed the door behind him, exhaled in an effort to break away from the uneasiness that had settled within him, and went down the stairs.
* *
X-THIRTY-TWO.FIVE ~ THIRTY-THREE