No Really...I really am happy...I swear
I really am so very happy right now. Randi and I have been together for 9 months. I told her that if passion made babies, one of us would be pushing and breathing real heavy right about now. I threw a birthday party for my mom and couldn't have done it without Randi's help (my sister did fuckin nothing). A great time was had by all and if I have time later I will write more about it.
But right now I just need to vent...
I am so stressed about money. I hate it. I hate money. I hate stress. I hate Cmas. I hate that Kelley has more than enough money (actually don't hate this...I am happy for him and would hate it if he was as poor as I am) and that he thinks nothing of mentioning how he is going to send his Dad a check for $500 for the Bman's college fund. Fuck Me!!! It's days before cmas and he can afford to just write out a check for $5fuckinghundreddollars? Holy Shit! I really hate that I have tears in my eyes from being poor. And again...I hate money...it's not like I wish I had a lot of money just for the sake of having a lot of money. I would just like to have enough that I could buy a few nice things for the people I love. And right now...I don't have even a little bit to buy something shitty for the people I love. I have literally not thought of one thing for anyone for Cmas (and that is not like me...I love giving people the perfect thing and watching their face light up). I have been trying to ignore that it is even coming...soon. This means that, for the first time in I can't even tell you how long, I am going to use a credit card. I have been trying to pay them off forever. I hate credit cards too by the way. FUCK!!!
But right now I just need to vent...
I am so stressed about money. I hate it. I hate money. I hate stress. I hate Cmas. I hate that Kelley has more than enough money (actually don't hate this...I am happy for him and would hate it if he was as poor as I am) and that he thinks nothing of mentioning how he is going to send his Dad a check for $500 for the Bman's college fund. Fuck Me!!! It's days before cmas and he can afford to just write out a check for $5fuckinghundreddollars? Holy Shit! I really hate that I have tears in my eyes from being poor. And again...I hate money...it's not like I wish I had a lot of money just for the sake of having a lot of money. I would just like to have enough that I could buy a few nice things for the people I love. And right now...I don't have even a little bit to buy something shitty for the people I love. I have literally not thought of one thing for anyone for Cmas (and that is not like me...I love giving people the perfect thing and watching their face light up). I have been trying to ignore that it is even coming...soon. This means that, for the first time in I can't even tell you how long, I am going to use a credit card. I have been trying to pay them off forever. I hate credit cards too by the way. FUCK!!!