(no subject)
i love things--classes, discussions, late-night ramblings--that just completely rip to shreads everything i thought i knew, flip me upside-down (i always loved the monkey bars...), and make me go crawling back up some trecherous iron spiky wall to try to find something new and real. especially when it happens in rapid succession each time i think i'm getting close.
i have to say i'm coming to agree with unamuno and the generación del 98 and the dark creative old men sitting in parisian cafés writing being depressedly existential while fermenting in clouds of over-roasted coffee steam and smoke of cheap, pungent cigarettes:
life is struggle.
no, not woe-is-me.
i mean life is in the struggle.
when there is no movement, no direction, no struggle, life becomes limp and meaningless, dry and shriveled.
so i'm beginning to revel in this daily mindfuck business. it makes me alive, makes me live.
gahhhhhhh
i wish i had some sort of direction and purpose and understanding of how it all fits together. i wish i had answers.
but really, i don't.
because then it wouldn't be nearly as fun.
*****
hurray for fridays and squishy chairs. and not making sense and knowing you will still love people and they will still love you even if you don't.
couch calls. merde. if you don't see me for a few days, come wake me up.
i have to say i'm coming to agree with unamuno and the generación del 98 and the dark creative old men sitting in parisian cafés writing being depressedly existential while fermenting in clouds of over-roasted coffee steam and smoke of cheap, pungent cigarettes:
life is struggle.
no, not woe-is-me.
i mean life is in the struggle.
when there is no movement, no direction, no struggle, life becomes limp and meaningless, dry and shriveled.
so i'm beginning to revel in this daily mindfuck business. it makes me alive, makes me live.
gahhhhhhh
i wish i had some sort of direction and purpose and understanding of how it all fits together. i wish i had answers.
but really, i don't.
because then it wouldn't be nearly as fun.
*****
hurray for fridays and squishy chairs. and not making sense and knowing you will still love people and they will still love you even if you don't.
couch calls. merde. if you don't see me for a few days, come wake me up.