(no subject)
I'M ALL CONFUSED.
It's like someone took every emotion that a person could possibly feel and laid them out on the floor in alphabetical order. And then jumbled them and tied them up and made paper snowflakes out of some of them and rubberbanded some of them together and then packed the whole mess together in one super-compressed ball and shoved me so full that I fee like the amalgamation is dripping out of my pores. Worse, I've had to suppress this bubbling struggling mess so that I can fucking learn math and fucking pass the math paper 3/ calc bc/ bio ap test i have next week.
It frustrating in the i'm-pregnant-with-my-best-friend's-baby kind of way. AS IN SUCKS BALLS.
I think mostly its because harvard is stressing me out. And in order to try and get over the fact that I'm not getting into Harvard, I tried to join the Dartmouth 2012 network today, BUT I FUCKING COULDN'T because apparently Dartmouth does not send out our emails until JUNE whic is the same time the last harvard notifications come out so basically I AM IN LIMBO for real. And I don't know why verifying myself in the Dartmouth network on Facebook is so important to me, but it is. It's one of the first steps I can take towards actualizing myself as a Dartmouth student and I can't even do that, because I don't have a fucking email address.
and I learned that I can no longer do shots. only mixed drinks for me for THE REST OF MY LIFE...or something like that.
So I had the fun-est week of my life last week, no work and my parents, for some unfathomable reason let me stay out until like 10 every night. And I realized that that is what normal kids do like EVERYDAY of their senior year. And I also realized that I would probably get bored witht hat type of thing really soon. not the hanging out with people part, because that was awesome, but the not-really-doing-anything part. I guess that's why i make people do the weirdest things with me when we hang out. Like go to barnes and noble and read about our astrological signs and interpret our dreams.
I'm basically really ready to go to college and go to a whole new atmosphere with new people and a new lifestyle and new things to try and learn and love. Only i'm going to miss times like this. When I can just ride my bike to someone's house. And my sister. I'm going to miss my sister so much.
Listening to Death Cab for Cutie every spare second of my life is making me all introspective. Gross. Also gross is my new obsession with the Wailist thread at college confidential. I'm turning into my mom/Jordan Wong.
Things i'm going to do:
- Go down the Salt River
- Go on a shopping spree at IKEA
- Have a sushi party
- Slide Rock
- Road Trip
- Malibu Beach
- STAND ON THE FOUR CORNERS
- Wash my car the real way
- belly dance
- self-actualize