Decrease of Lamotrigine and Anxiety Related?
Hi guys,
In the last few weeks-one month I've decreased my lamotrigine dose from 250-200 (cut 25 for about a week, another 25 after that, now I'm taking 100mg in the morning and 100mg at night). And I'm worried that I'm experiencing negative effects of bipolar as a result. The last few days my anxiety has been elevated - not to the point where it's debilitating or I'm having panic attacks, like I have in the past, just noticeably so. I have always been a worrier, but this type of anxiety is different and, I'm afraid to say, a little familiar. I don't even know if anxiety is the right word for it. I'm just...scared. I don't know why. That's what makes me suspect it's the resurfacing mood disorder, the fact that the anxiety seems to have no environmental or situational cause. Maybe I worry too much by nature, but I can almost always pinpoint the root of that worry. Now it's just that I'm scared, uneasy, self conscious, and for no reason in particular. Like I feel as if something bad is about to happen but I don't know what.
I decided to decrease my dosage after a conversation with my girlfriend. She doesn't have much knowledge or understanding of mental illness and she wondered aloud one night whether I really needed the medication and if long-term use of it could be the cause of some recent health concerns of mine (debilitating menstrual cramps, chronic fatigue). She told me she didn't judge me or anything and just wants me to be healthy, and I know she's uneducated about the matter and regardless I shouldn't base my decisions on anyone else's opinion, but it still stuck with me. I rarely tell people I'm "bipolar". I can't even say it without air-quoting it haha which has more to do with my fear of being mentally ill and medicated for the rest of my life than it has to do with any stigma or shame. I don't want to be sick (who does?) and I don't want to be on meds my whole life :( I want to have a baby one day (I'm 25) and I don't think it's safe to be on this drug while pregnant. And do we really know enough about its long term use to be confidant that someone can be on it their whole lives?
So anyway my question is, does this sound like the bipolar is acting up due to the mediation decrease? I had no withdrawal effects when I lowered the dose, it's only in the last few days that this unexplained fear has arisen. I've also just started my period today, so maybe it's just PMS?
I'm still totally functional and it's really not effecting my life right now. I'm just worried that it'll get worse like it has in the past when I tried to go off lamotrigine (although I did so erratically and irresponsibly) or go back to the way it was before I started it at all and before I got to this dose (I was taking 150mg for a while then my doc increased it as I was experiencing panic attacks regularly. This was fall 2011).
My doctor is aware of the fact that I've decreased my dosage by the way. He wasn't terribly supportive of the idea and warned me against it, but agreed that I could "experiment" with going off of it as long as I did it slowly and understood the risks. The thing is I'm not going to see him over the summer as I'm working at a kids camp Monday-Friday and his office isn't open on weekends. I'm scared I'll find myself in the midst of a mood disorder partway through the summer and if I discover decreasing the lamotrigine was a bad idea then it'll take weeks to get back up to a therapeutic level again. I really don't want this to effect my job. But I guess there's never a "good time" for this type of experiment.
I hope someone out there managed to read through all that. Any advice/shared experiences would be appreciated.
(P.S. I am also on Vyvanse for ADD, which I also REALLY want to stop but am less worried about going off of)
In the last few weeks-one month I've decreased my lamotrigine dose from 250-200 (cut 25 for about a week, another 25 after that, now I'm taking 100mg in the morning and 100mg at night). And I'm worried that I'm experiencing negative effects of bipolar as a result. The last few days my anxiety has been elevated - not to the point where it's debilitating or I'm having panic attacks, like I have in the past, just noticeably so. I have always been a worrier, but this type of anxiety is different and, I'm afraid to say, a little familiar. I don't even know if anxiety is the right word for it. I'm just...scared. I don't know why. That's what makes me suspect it's the resurfacing mood disorder, the fact that the anxiety seems to have no environmental or situational cause. Maybe I worry too much by nature, but I can almost always pinpoint the root of that worry. Now it's just that I'm scared, uneasy, self conscious, and for no reason in particular. Like I feel as if something bad is about to happen but I don't know what.
I decided to decrease my dosage after a conversation with my girlfriend. She doesn't have much knowledge or understanding of mental illness and she wondered aloud one night whether I really needed the medication and if long-term use of it could be the cause of some recent health concerns of mine (debilitating menstrual cramps, chronic fatigue). She told me she didn't judge me or anything and just wants me to be healthy, and I know she's uneducated about the matter and regardless I shouldn't base my decisions on anyone else's opinion, but it still stuck with me. I rarely tell people I'm "bipolar". I can't even say it without air-quoting it haha which has more to do with my fear of being mentally ill and medicated for the rest of my life than it has to do with any stigma or shame. I don't want to be sick (who does?) and I don't want to be on meds my whole life :( I want to have a baby one day (I'm 25) and I don't think it's safe to be on this drug while pregnant. And do we really know enough about its long term use to be confidant that someone can be on it their whole lives?
So anyway my question is, does this sound like the bipolar is acting up due to the mediation decrease? I had no withdrawal effects when I lowered the dose, it's only in the last few days that this unexplained fear has arisen. I've also just started my period today, so maybe it's just PMS?
I'm still totally functional and it's really not effecting my life right now. I'm just worried that it'll get worse like it has in the past when I tried to go off lamotrigine (although I did so erratically and irresponsibly) or go back to the way it was before I started it at all and before I got to this dose (I was taking 150mg for a while then my doc increased it as I was experiencing panic attacks regularly. This was fall 2011).
My doctor is aware of the fact that I've decreased my dosage by the way. He wasn't terribly supportive of the idea and warned me against it, but agreed that I could "experiment" with going off of it as long as I did it slowly and understood the risks. The thing is I'm not going to see him over the summer as I'm working at a kids camp Monday-Friday and his office isn't open on weekends. I'm scared I'll find myself in the midst of a mood disorder partway through the summer and if I discover decreasing the lamotrigine was a bad idea then it'll take weeks to get back up to a therapeutic level again. I really don't want this to effect my job. But I guess there's never a "good time" for this type of experiment.
I hope someone out there managed to read through all that. Any advice/shared experiences would be appreciated.
(P.S. I am also on Vyvanse for ADD, which I also REALLY want to stop but am less worried about going off of)