Depakote Depression
Hello everyone!
I was taking Depakote for maybe the last nine months. I used to be extremely manic. Then I became depressed at a very quick rate when Spring came and my Wellbutrin had to be upped and upped and upped. But it was September and I was having trouble taking any Wellbutrin pill bigger than 250 mg (It's such an awkwardly round pill). So my pdoc tried to up my Depakote. I broke out in a rash, which my mom and me are actually thinking was an allergy to the metal that's in nickels. Which is unfortunate cause of my job as a cashier. But at the time it seemed like a direct result of the Depakote, which was the only thing in my life that had changed. I was weened off the Depakote. I was extremely upset about it, because I really felt like shit, I was on the verge of suicide, and I didn't know how to properly explain that. Though I was mad about everything, absolutely everything, at that time. I also take Ambien, and I would black out and just sob for hours. I have no recollection but my mom says I just cried and cried and wouldn't stop. Getting off the Depakote, at first I felt no different, except for the monsturous reoccuring headache. But as my dose got smaller and smaller I felt myself just getting more and more excited about everything. I haven't been excited about ANYTHING in months. Me? I've been manic almost all of my 16 years and depression really off sets me. I almost flunked my sophmore year and my personally was similar to that of a wet cat. And I know it wasn't psychosymatic because I thought it would honestly be the end of me, coming off the mood stabilizers. I've been so much happier since.
My theory is that the mood stabilizers were kindof pulling me down. That even though the Wellbutrin was yanking me up, and I was getting oodles more sleep, mood stabiliers were trying to pull me back down to a reasonable level. And now that I'm not taking them they aren't fighting with the antidepressants and they're properly doing their job. I have no doubt that I'm still depressed, or I would be if I stopped taking all my meds, but I'm not manic. I haven't gotten back to manic yet. I feel like my personalities coming back. I just had to put this all to words. It's overwhelming.
I was taking Depakote for maybe the last nine months. I used to be extremely manic. Then I became depressed at a very quick rate when Spring came and my Wellbutrin had to be upped and upped and upped. But it was September and I was having trouble taking any Wellbutrin pill bigger than 250 mg (It's such an awkwardly round pill). So my pdoc tried to up my Depakote. I broke out in a rash, which my mom and me are actually thinking was an allergy to the metal that's in nickels. Which is unfortunate cause of my job as a cashier. But at the time it seemed like a direct result of the Depakote, which was the only thing in my life that had changed. I was weened off the Depakote. I was extremely upset about it, because I really felt like shit, I was on the verge of suicide, and I didn't know how to properly explain that. Though I was mad about everything, absolutely everything, at that time. I also take Ambien, and I would black out and just sob for hours. I have no recollection but my mom says I just cried and cried and wouldn't stop. Getting off the Depakote, at first I felt no different, except for the monsturous reoccuring headache. But as my dose got smaller and smaller I felt myself just getting more and more excited about everything. I haven't been excited about ANYTHING in months. Me? I've been manic almost all of my 16 years and depression really off sets me. I almost flunked my sophmore year and my personally was similar to that of a wet cat. And I know it wasn't psychosymatic because I thought it would honestly be the end of me, coming off the mood stabilizers. I've been so much happier since.
My theory is that the mood stabilizers were kindof pulling me down. That even though the Wellbutrin was yanking me up, and I was getting oodles more sleep, mood stabiliers were trying to pull me back down to a reasonable level. And now that I'm not taking them they aren't fighting with the antidepressants and they're properly doing their job. I have no doubt that I'm still depressed, or I would be if I stopped taking all my meds, but I'm not manic. I haven't gotten back to manic yet. I feel like my personalities coming back. I just had to put this all to words. It's overwhelming.