(no subject)
im quite tired of the little things that remind me that im different then everyone else. i dont know how to get pass the weird smells that only i can smell when i manic episode is coming on or the way every little sound seem to be 50 times louder then any other day. it irritates me that i can have a great day like today where i got out of the house saw a movie with the love of my life and i can still feel a swing coming. i feel horrible when i have to tell my boy friend he can drink off my cup cause i can smell his breath on it when he is done. what the hell is wrong with me? does anyone else have this too or is it just one of those signs that only i have? i hate it so much i have so much going for me and i still cant seem to find a way to be happy with who i am nor can i allow anyone else to be happy with me. i hate having bipolar disorder and yes most days i dont mind it. i get a lot of shit done what i wouldn't if i didn't have it, such as writing or art work but i cant stand the never ending feeling that a cycle is coming on when some times it doesn't come for weeks.
some of you know im not on meds cause i cant stand how i feel on them but im normally fully functioning without meds but this week i just cant seem to get going no matter how hard i try. i act like im just fine but mentally i cant put a finger on how i feel. one minute im happy with a smile on my face and the next im about to rip people a new one over nothing. i guess that is what this disorder is. i guess i just wonder if other people feel like i do about the little things that happen when a swing is coming. what do other people do when they feel a swing coming on? is there away to stop them before they start? i know meds are a big part of most of your lives but is there other things you do to stop them? even if it doesnt work for me id like to hear about it. by the way i dont know anyone else with this issuses so i have a lot of questions plus this is only my second post and im interested to see how others cope.
some of you know im not on meds cause i cant stand how i feel on them but im normally fully functioning without meds but this week i just cant seem to get going no matter how hard i try. i act like im just fine but mentally i cant put a finger on how i feel. one minute im happy with a smile on my face and the next im about to rip people a new one over nothing. i guess that is what this disorder is. i guess i just wonder if other people feel like i do about the little things that happen when a swing is coming. what do other people do when they feel a swing coming on? is there away to stop them before they start? i know meds are a big part of most of your lives but is there other things you do to stop them? even if it doesnt work for me id like to hear about it. by the way i dont know anyone else with this issuses so i have a lot of questions plus this is only my second post and im interested to see how others cope.