A little whine with my OT
Sorry, being an uber poster right now
My Whine:
I feel like a loser. I'm not even good at being bipolar II. I can't tell what is depression and what may be mixed. I hate my lack of impulse control right now, because it leads to smoking (when I was doing pretty well about quitting), and binging and purging (which, seriouslly, hello, why are you back after so many years? I think it's the affect of the Chantrix I was taking for the smoking, because that does warp my mind).
I want people to notice that things are hard for me but at the same time I don't want people to notice.
I want to be able, for my own sake of mind and the mind of my love ones, to be able to distinguish between what is bipolar, what are character quirks, and what are character flaws. I have not cleaned the house. Is it depression or am I lazy? Am I goofing off at work or is it honestly harder for me to concentrate, or if it's both, which percent?
I WANT SELF MOTIVATION AND THE ABILITY TO DO THINGS IN MODERATION
I WANT SELF MOTIVATION AND THE ABILITY TO DO THINGS IN MODERATION
I WANT SELF MOTIVATION AND THE ABILITY TO DO THINGS IN MODERATION
I want to be able to stop analzying every stupid neural pulse as to whether or not it means I'm headed for depression or mixed or anxiety or obbsession or just being normally sad or anxious
I want to know what is normal for bipolar. Obbsessive thoughts?
I want to find a medication that works, constantly, for the rest of my life (I know, dream big, ok?) so I'm not constantly worried if this medication is failing or I should go back on that one or if I need to up the dosage.
I want some pure, unadulterated hypomania, cause seriously, it's the least we deserve.
I want another fricking cigarette
The OT part
What, if any, "natural" therapies do you do? Some I've heard about/experimented with (I'm not still doing all of these, but you get the picture)
* Fish oil -- I do take a lot
* Exercise - duh, good for depression
* Light therapy -- read a study recently that people with BP have abnormally sensitive melatonin receptors in their eyes, so even with eyes shut, we still sense enough light to not turn on meletonin. So I do light therapy in the morning (although morning light can be trigger for those prone to extreme mania - afternoon light is better for them), take meletonin at night, try to avoid artificial light before going to bed, and wear a sleep mask.
*Magnesium -- I just read a study about this, having to do with glucose, but I didn't get to finish the journal article
*Kelp -- to help with the thyroid
*Limiting carbs -- helps to stave off depression and keeps blood sugar levels level
Any other suggestions?