Intro
Hi!
I kinda randomly stumbled here. My name is "Suzy" (not really... but it's what people online know me as). I'm in my later 20's.
I've only recently begun to understand and know why I feel the way I do and why I am the way I am. It's strongly suggestive that my father is bipolar (though no one knows for sure, but his manic & depressive episodes and never knowing what mood he's in can be really scary) -- my psychologist has reason to believe he is bipolar.
I was denied proper medical attention for many years (all my childhood) -- one word..... ABUSE. (Mostly from my crazy mother), so I've only finally gotten medical attention on my own (after attempting to kill myself repeatedly). I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 (I'm told it's the worst form) as well as having PTSD.
I'm quite nervous about taking medication (and rather sensitive to it as well.) ... mostly because my mother pumped tar-like herbal concoctions through me (it did quite a bit of damage to my digestive tract -- I have gobs of digestive problems). Doctors have to coax me a LOT to take medication. :/ I'm currently on Symbyax & was prescribed Seroquel (spelling?) for anxiety & sleep issues -- though I've yet to find/notice any relief with the Seroquel........ My plush toys help me sleep better than the medication does.
I don't trust people in general, and don't have any reason to trust people. (Why should I?) I have found my only hobby to be my primary solace. My therapist thinks it's what keeps me "grounded" and connected to this world....kinda like my only way of coping with life's upsets.
Some of my pet peeves are people who expect me to "conform" to their ways, ideals, practices, expect me to be "normal" etc. *I cringe*, people who cannot accept me the way that I am, write me off as insane or crazy, people who don't give me a chance, people who "give up" on me.
I live with my brother (he has autism). And we both kinda just watch out for each other. :/
So um... yeah... hi! I hope this community has helpful supportive people. I'm kinda nervous about posting here. O__o;
I kinda randomly stumbled here. My name is "Suzy" (not really... but it's what people online know me as). I'm in my later 20's.
I've only recently begun to understand and know why I feel the way I do and why I am the way I am. It's strongly suggestive that my father is bipolar (though no one knows for sure, but his manic & depressive episodes and never knowing what mood he's in can be really scary) -- my psychologist has reason to believe he is bipolar.
I was denied proper medical attention for many years (all my childhood) -- one word..... ABUSE. (Mostly from my crazy mother), so I've only finally gotten medical attention on my own (after attempting to kill myself repeatedly). I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 (I'm told it's the worst form) as well as having PTSD.
I'm quite nervous about taking medication (and rather sensitive to it as well.) ... mostly because my mother pumped tar-like herbal concoctions through me (it did quite a bit of damage to my digestive tract -- I have gobs of digestive problems). Doctors have to coax me a LOT to take medication. :/ I'm currently on Symbyax & was prescribed Seroquel (spelling?) for anxiety & sleep issues -- though I've yet to find/notice any relief with the Seroquel........ My plush toys help me sleep better than the medication does.
I don't trust people in general, and don't have any reason to trust people. (Why should I?) I have found my only hobby to be my primary solace. My therapist thinks it's what keeps me "grounded" and connected to this world....kinda like my only way of coping with life's upsets.
Some of my pet peeves are people who expect me to "conform" to their ways, ideals, practices, expect me to be "normal" etc. *I cringe*, people who cannot accept me the way that I am, write me off as insane or crazy, people who don't give me a chance, people who "give up" on me.
I live with my brother (he has autism). And we both kinda just watch out for each other. :/
So um... yeah... hi! I hope this community has helpful supportive people. I'm kinda nervous about posting here. O__o;