Don't most people STOP being manic at some point?
The hospital got the mania down enough to feel confident letting me out. Shouldn't a swing down be next? Rather than a swing even higher?
I told my pdoc I despise drooling, so he cut the Risperdal from 3mg to 2mg. Now I went to bed at 1am and woke up at 6am, and feel like I'm fine. It is six hours, but I usually need more along the lines of eight. And the voices are back.
Very faint, and arguing. It's only when they strongly agree that shit happens. I don't like the voices. I know cognitively they are just pieces of me hallucinating into separating into two voices, but how is that supposed to help?
I've been judging my mood by the rainbow. Red being depressed due to its long flattish wavelength and violet being severely manic due to its jumpy wavelength. I hate both sides of myself. I want to be green. Vaguely tilty.
Normal.
Is there such a thing?
Ideally, flat would be nice.
So, what I need is a drug that doesn't make me ooze drool but makes the voices and manicky feeling stop.
Here's what I'm on:
AM:
25mg Topomax
450mg Trileptal
.5mg Klonipan
PM
.5mg Klonipan
BED
25mg Topomax
1 mg Klonipan
2mg Risperdal
100mg Lamictal
I need non-medical opinions. Seroquel doesn't work right. The Lamictal makes the depression stop. The Topomax keeps migraines away.
Help please.
I'm getting the urge to paint a room again.