Now this is the story all about how, My life got flipped, turned upside down...
Now this is the story all about how,
My life got flipped, turned upside down...
Right, let me tell you a little story. A little story about another time in my life. Apparently I have trouble expressing my emotions. I can go with that; it took my parents several years to find out that I have a loan to clear off a bunch of debt I ran up while at university. They found out about 2 months ago.
I'll admit, I do have trouble expressing myself and it all comes down to the past. As always. I hate re-telling the story that I was a rape victim but, in this story, it plays a crucial role. I told people about, the people closest to me. The people I believed were my friends. I sat with them in a coffee house and cried my heart out. They hugged me and told me it was okay, that I wasn't a fuck up and that everything would work out.
You can probably guess what happened next.
Yep, it wound up all over town. I had people staring at me and calling me names, calling me a slut and a whore and a liar. That hurt. Really hurt. Because I was none of those. I was a virgin when I was assaulted so I couldn't understand why they were calling me that. I found out, through the Chinese whispers of the town, that it had been the people I'd spoken to in the coffee shop that night, my so called friends, who'd been spreading the "news" and rumours around town. I was crushed. I thought they'd actually cared for me. But they hadn't. They'd just wanted information to feed back to others around town. I could imagine them laughing at me behind my back, their hands on the knife that they were plunging into it.
Finally, I found myself a boyfriend. He seemed nice enough (but turned into a stalker after I dumped him). I watched him as he tried to make friends with the guy who attacked me. Right in front of my eyes, while we were together. Needless to say, he got dumped fairly sharpish, despite him trying to deny it.
So yes, I have trust problems. I have problems making friends because I don't know who's going to treat me well and who's just going to stab me in the back. Yes, I fly off the handle and get defensive when someone says something against me. Yes, I try and get it out through my writing, but it doesn't always happen. And I apologise.
My life got flipped, turned upside down...
Right, let me tell you a little story. A little story about another time in my life. Apparently I have trouble expressing my emotions. I can go with that; it took my parents several years to find out that I have a loan to clear off a bunch of debt I ran up while at university. They found out about 2 months ago.
I'll admit, I do have trouble expressing myself and it all comes down to the past. As always. I hate re-telling the story that I was a rape victim but, in this story, it plays a crucial role. I told people about, the people closest to me. The people I believed were my friends. I sat with them in a coffee house and cried my heart out. They hugged me and told me it was okay, that I wasn't a fuck up and that everything would work out.
You can probably guess what happened next.
Yep, it wound up all over town. I had people staring at me and calling me names, calling me a slut and a whore and a liar. That hurt. Really hurt. Because I was none of those. I was a virgin when I was assaulted so I couldn't understand why they were calling me that. I found out, through the Chinese whispers of the town, that it had been the people I'd spoken to in the coffee shop that night, my so called friends, who'd been spreading the "news" and rumours around town. I was crushed. I thought they'd actually cared for me. But they hadn't. They'd just wanted information to feed back to others around town. I could imagine them laughing at me behind my back, their hands on the knife that they were plunging into it.
Finally, I found myself a boyfriend. He seemed nice enough (but turned into a stalker after I dumped him). I watched him as he tried to make friends with the guy who attacked me. Right in front of my eyes, while we were together. Needless to say, he got dumped fairly sharpish, despite him trying to deny it.
So yes, I have trust problems. I have problems making friends because I don't know who's going to treat me well and who's just going to stab me in the back. Yes, I fly off the handle and get defensive when someone says something against me. Yes, I try and get it out through my writing, but it doesn't always happen. And I apologise.