(no subject)
I'm so fucking embarrassed at myself. I cried today. In public. And I have no idea why. You know when you watch a film or hear a piece of music and you start randomly blubbing? Well, that's what happened to me. At work. In the middle of a busy shop. I was alone and it felt like something inside of me had honestly died. Like something had been torn from my very soul. I was alone and had no idea what to do. I called the manager and cried down the phone to her. She told me to go home but the next train wasn't until 5.
Geez, I hate myself so much right now. Hate the pain and the darkness. That that lurks in the deep recesses of my mind. My manager knows and I have a feeling it'll be time for a trip to the doctor's.
God, I can't wait to go home in a few weeks. Needless to say, my mother is climbing the wall. She can see another rescue mission somewhere in the not too distant future.
At least this time I'm not out of my face on drugs. And at least the doctors know what's wrong.
Geez, I hate myself so much right now. Hate the pain and the darkness. That that lurks in the deep recesses of my mind. My manager knows and I have a feeling it'll be time for a trip to the doctor's.
God, I can't wait to go home in a few weeks. Needless to say, my mother is climbing the wall. She can see another rescue mission somewhere in the not too distant future.
At least this time I'm not out of my face on drugs. And at least the doctors know what's wrong.