rambles in limbo
i am snacking on trail mix as i am reading something special, something private, but not so private that it can't be broadcast through livejournal, and i am suddenly fixated on the detail that almonds are sweeter than walnuts. slightly.
and i must pause to post this.
i don't know where i am right now, except in that familiar limbo, drifting between today and tomorrow. when in limbo nothing has a value, it all blends. the past's heavy steel door is forced open wide so that everything is flooded and floating, and my experience mixes with history mixes with tomorrow mixes with now, then, later, other.
and i am floating, too, in this thick suspension of time. i am waiting for the storm. i am waiting for the rush of adrenaline that will fill me until i shake, until all my sensors and nerves are ignited and i confuse sensation with numbness. i am waiting for it to subside, to drain, leaving only small veins of water falling into a small hole on the floor. i am waiting to be beyond climax, so that i can see where i've been, so i can understand where i was.
it's so much better than / no better than now: in limbo, between, waiting.
and i go back to my trail mix, to my almonds and walnuts, to reading, and to ignoring everything i should be thinking, but will wait to think about until later.
and i must pause to post this.
i don't know where i am right now, except in that familiar limbo, drifting between today and tomorrow. when in limbo nothing has a value, it all blends. the past's heavy steel door is forced open wide so that everything is flooded and floating, and my experience mixes with history mixes with tomorrow mixes with now, then, later, other.
and i am floating, too, in this thick suspension of time. i am waiting for the storm. i am waiting for the rush of adrenaline that will fill me until i shake, until all my sensors and nerves are ignited and i confuse sensation with numbness. i am waiting for it to subside, to drain, leaving only small veins of water falling into a small hole on the floor. i am waiting to be beyond climax, so that i can see where i've been, so i can understand where i was.
it's so much better than / no better than now: in limbo, between, waiting.
and i go back to my trail mix, to my almonds and walnuts, to reading, and to ignoring everything i should be thinking, but will wait to think about until later.