personal grr.
i know it wasn't intended as such, but i recently read a friend's LJ that he's getting chest surgery, and upon completion of such, he will be man.
my first instinct was to validate his identity, that he's a man surgery or not. after i posted this response, however, i realized how irked i was at his statement.
i know he didn't intend it as such, but it smacked of invalidation for all those guys out there who themselves cannot afford, or whose parents don't buy them top surgery. i have my chest still intact. does that make me less of a man? can transfolk only become men if they have the financial ability and desire to undergo surgery?
the pressure to dice up one's body is strong within the trans community. and i know for some it's more necessary than others: for personal connection with the body, to pass in public, to remove biological elements of past, comfort, ease, etc. HOWEVER, there are many people who have a small desire for surgery that is strongly enforced by the trans community's pressure to do it.
i, myself, would like the ease and aesthetics of chest surgery, but it's not something i'm able to do for awhile. meanwhile i'm being told by many a transman that i am less masculine because i haven't gone through it yet. and i'm even more invalidated when i tell transmasculine people i sometimes consider not doing it at all.
and the more people tell me i NEED to do it the more i don't want to. it angers me that those who go through the full gamut of surgeries set the standard for being the MOST masculine (or feminine, as i imagine the pressures are high for all members of the trans community) - like they have the authority to determine who can and cannot fit into the transenough criteria.
fuck that. and fuck them. if i decide to hack at my body it's because i decide to. and if i decide i don't want to it's because of a complex system of desire, need, and ability. you assuming my gender validity based on my willingness to go under a knife pisses me off. and it should piss us all off.
my first instinct was to validate his identity, that he's a man surgery or not. after i posted this response, however, i realized how irked i was at his statement.
i know he didn't intend it as such, but it smacked of invalidation for all those guys out there who themselves cannot afford, or whose parents don't buy them top surgery. i have my chest still intact. does that make me less of a man? can transfolk only become men if they have the financial ability and desire to undergo surgery?
the pressure to dice up one's body is strong within the trans community. and i know for some it's more necessary than others: for personal connection with the body, to pass in public, to remove biological elements of past, comfort, ease, etc. HOWEVER, there are many people who have a small desire for surgery that is strongly enforced by the trans community's pressure to do it.
i, myself, would like the ease and aesthetics of chest surgery, but it's not something i'm able to do for awhile. meanwhile i'm being told by many a transman that i am less masculine because i haven't gone through it yet. and i'm even more invalidated when i tell transmasculine people i sometimes consider not doing it at all.
and the more people tell me i NEED to do it the more i don't want to. it angers me that those who go through the full gamut of surgeries set the standard for being the MOST masculine (or feminine, as i imagine the pressures are high for all members of the trans community) - like they have the authority to determine who can and cannot fit into the transenough criteria.
fuck that. and fuck them. if i decide to hack at my body it's because i decide to. and if i decide i don't want to it's because of a complex system of desire, need, and ability. you assuming my gender validity based on my willingness to go under a knife pisses me off. and it should piss us all off.