Fic: Kiss Me Once in the Sunshine (Hawke/Fenris, Fenris/Hawke/Anders)
Title: Kiss Me Once in the Sunshine
Author: wook77
Artist: kath_ballantyne
Beta: elanorofcastile
Canon: Dragon Age 2
Pairing: m!Hawke/Fenris, Fenris/m!Hawke/Anders (eventually)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings:
Wordcount: 11,150ish
Summary: In the aftermath of Anders's destruction of the Chantry and his subsequent death, Hawke is surprised to discover that Anders is alive and well in Amaranthine. There's no Justice and no manifesto. There is, however, the attraction and love he'd felt before Anders's manifesto and his relationship with Fenris.
Author's Notes: Contains fade to black sex scene. Many thanks to my artist who is rather amazing and did a fantastic job in a very short period of time. Also thanks to reddwarfer for letting me babble at her many, many times as I fleshed out the fic. Title shamelessly stolen from a She Wants Revenge song. Further acknowledgements of inspiration are considered spoilers and, thus, under whiteout text * This fic is inspired by an offhand comment David Gaider made that, in response to the question "who took Anders's cat away?", was: Nobody. Ser Pounce-a-lot was possessed by the spirit of Justice, and transformed his body to look like his former owner. Then one day he chased a mouse onto a ship and ended up in Kirkwall. It was the weirdest thing. Yeah, I rolled with it.*
Fenris: Meeting you was the most important thing that ever happened to me, Hawke.
Hawke loves these moments with Fenris, loves the way that Fenris softens, just a hint, under Hawke's hands and mouth. He cherishes them because it's so rare that Fenris allows this sort of treatment outside of the bedroom, where anyone can chance upon them and see that softness.
"You have nothing to fear from him," Hawke says as he swipes his lips across Fenris's, brushing their noses back and forth. "It is you I love."
Fenris smiles back at him, arms coming around him and pulling him in close. "You love him, as well. Or you will, once you see that he is the same as you fell in love with but you are an honorable man, Hawke, and you will not stray even if it tears you apart."
"You with your doubts. Do not doubt that I love you." Hawke presses closer, until they're aligned chest to leg, and then kisses him once more. This time, he lines their mouths up and thrusts his tongue into Fenris's mouth. Moaning into the mouth that he's gotten to know as well as his own, Hawke traces along the lines of lyrium on Fenris's neck. Breaking the kiss slightly, he licks along the lines that he's just traced, across Fenris's chin and then further down until the lines are buried by the armor. Taking half a step back, he pulls Fenris's arm away from his hip and then traces his inner arm, along his elbow and down until those, too, are hidden from his questing tongue. He repeats with the other arm then steps closer and kisses Fenris once more, tongue touching tongue.
"You are a cruel man to tease me so when there is no where for you to finish what you've started," Fenris breathes into his neck, tongue darting out to trace along Hawke's neck.
"Then let us retreat to where I can prove my true cruelty."
Justice: You have seen oppression and are now free. You must act to free those who remain oppressed.
Anders: Or I could mind my business, in case the Chantry comes knocking.
Justice: But this is not right. You have an obligation.
Anders: Yes, well... welcome to the world, spirit.
They all head out on a patrol. Hawke's aware that he has to earn the space in the barracks that he's taking up. It gives him time to walk with Carver, see the way that Carver seems to fit in his skin a bit better than he ever did in Ferelden or Kirkwall. He only wishes that he could figure out a way to say that to Carver without Carver blowing up at him, putting them right back into the confrontational relationship they've had for too many years.
Speaking of fitting well in his skin, Hawke can't get over the way that this Anders resembles that first Anders, the one that he'd fell in love with, so much. Anders seems happy, jovial and free here unlike the bitter shell that Hawke had killed in Kirkwall. There's guilt there and not just for killing him. That guilt shifts his focus to Fenris, where Fenris walks at his side, hand on his sword and ready at a moment's notice.
It's Anders that warns them that danger is coming as he holds up a hand. Varric sighs, pulling out Bianca. Hawke steps back, behind Fenris, giving in on this need of Fenris's to protect him, as he steadies himself for the upcoming battle.
The darkspawn are on them in a matter of moments. Fenris rushes about, glowing and dangerously beautiful in battle while Carver plows through the enemies. Hawke will never understand why Varric insists on singing to Bianca but he doesn't really care because it's effective. Almost as effective as when Fenris grabs one of the last Hurlocks, thrusts his glowing fist into the Hurlock's chest and then hefts him into the air before throwing it across the cavern, dripping heart in his hand. Hawke figures there's something wrong with him (something he isn't willing to fix, though) because Fenris's heart-ripping will never not turn him on. When he looks over to Anders, he sees the way that Anders stares at Fenris as Fenris drops the heart and then wipes the blood off his hand and arm.
Fenris: Do you see yourself as harmless, then? An abomination who would never harm someone?
Anders: Like ripping someone's heart out of his chest?
Fenris: I did that at the behest of no demon.
Anders: So we agree that it doesn't take a demon for someone to be a vicious killer? Good.
Anders finds himself alone with Fenris. It's not a state of affairs that makes him confident as to his abilities to leave the room in one piece let alone alive. His fingers grip and relax and grip once more on his staff. Anders has seen Fenris in battle and he knows damned well that he doesn't stand a chance if Fenris decides to make good on his promise to kill him, not if Fenris chooses to do that super-speed trick of his. He's seen the way that Fenris sticks his hand in an enemy's chest and yanks out his heart before the enemy even knows it's coming.
"Hawke does not know that I am here." The words send a shiver of fear down Anders's spine.
"And?"
"I do not think he would approve of what I intend."
"Then you should probably not do it. Hawke's a formidable man. I wouldn't want to upset him."
"This is worth the risk. His happiness is more important to me than anything else. My own pride included." Fenris stalks across the room towards Anders. Anders points his staff in Fenris's direction as he circles away from Fenris. He's got a sofa between the two of them when Fenris merely steps onto it and then over it, pressing Anders against a wall. At least this time, there's no sword at his neck, he thinks in borderline fear and hysteria. Anders charges his fingers with lightning and then presses them against Fenris, sending shockwaves through his body as Fenris leans in towards him.
Anders braces for the dagger that Fenris surely has sliding towards his chest. What he doesn't brace for is the feel of Fenris's lips on his own. Opening his mouth to cry out in surprise, Fenris takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Anders's mouth, touching tongue to tongue and possessing his mouth. Fenris's hands slide into his hair, holding him captive as they kiss. Surprise had held him still but the lust twisting in his gut makes him move, his hands sliding from shoving against Fenris to pulling him closer. His right leg comes off the ground and slides around Fenris's left, foot slipping between Fenris's legs and trying to bring them even closer.
Frotting against the hard cock he can feel under all that armor, Anders moans, breaking the kiss to get a breath while Fenris lips along his jawline, down over his neck to bite at the protrusion at the front of his neck.
"Please," he pants out, all thoughts slipping out of his head other than more of Fenris's mouth on his body, Fenris's hands tugging his hair and forcing his head sideways to bare more of his neck to Fenris's teeth. "Please, more."
Just as quickly as it started, it stops. Fenris steps away from him, wiping his fingertips across his mouth and then stalks out of the room.
What in the Maker's name just happened? Anders places his own fingertips against his lips, feeling the way that they've already swelled and started to bruise. His cock is so hard that he doesn't think there's any blood anywhere else in his body and all because of one, murderous and unpredictable elf with a boyfriend that Anders wants, rather desperately.
Anders: I'm just wondering how your master didn't kill you.
Fenris: How have the templars not killed you?
Anders: I'm charming.
Hawke grins at Fenris as Fenris stalks into the room, puts his hands on Hawke's shoulders and then shoves him into the wall, pressing them as close as can be while his hands grip Hawke's wrists and pin him to the wall. "What brought this on?"
"When you kissed Anders, what did you feel?" Fenris asks, lips formed into a snarl while he thrusts his hips against Hawke's.
"Fenris, what - "
"Answer the question, Hawke."
"Heat, warmth, friendship, want, need, desire, love."
"What do you feel when you kiss me?"
"The same."
"The exact same?" Fenris's teeth find Hawke's jugular and bite down. Hawke can't help the moan that breaks out of his throat, surging into the air with the same speed that his cock rises.
"No. It was gentler than what I feel for you. Passionate but gentler."
"You do not feel gentle with me?"
"You're a fire in my blood, Fenris. You're a roaring waterfall, sweeping over me. Anders was more of a bubbling brook, laughter and playfulness."
"Which do you prefer?"
"I picked you."
"Why?"
"Because your fire keeps me warm."
"And a bubbling brook would not soothe you? Laughter would not brighten your day?"
"Of course it would but I choose to have the inferno."
Fenris lets him go, stepping back, ending the passionate exchange as quickly as he'd started it. "And would you want both?"
"What?" Hawke gapes at him, completely at a loss for what the hell is going on.
"I tasted him."
"You what?" Hawke continues to gape.
"He tastes of the warmth of the sun on your face in the middle of winter. I can see why you were attracted to him. Why you are attracted to him."
"Fenris, you kissed Anders?"
"Yes. I had to know what intrigues you. His taste is… not disagreeable." Fenris's fingers trace across his lips. Hawke steps forward and traces the same path with his own fingers.
"You are what I want," Hawke whispers against Fenris's lips.
"But he is what you need. You need soothing spring rain the same as you need fire. I would give that to you, let you have that." Fenris licks Hawke's lips and he opens his mouth, taking the kiss further, sucking Fenris's tongue into his mouth and caressing it with his own.
"Only if that is what you want," Hawke finally responds when the kiss ends. "I will not do this if you think only to give me a gift."
"I will never understand your selflessness." Fenris shakes his head and then cups Hawke's face, kissing him once more.
Fenris: Do not bare your heart to me, mage, unless you would have me rip it out.
It takes Hawke two days to find Anders. The Warden-Commander is the one that points out where Anders is hiding, something that Hawke will forever be grateful for as he sneaks into the small courtyard and watches Anders pace back and forth, clearly having a discussion with himself.
"Sometimes, the only intelligent discussion I get is the one that I have with myself," Hawke says, stepping out from behind the hedge.
"Hawke! You took a year off my life sneaking up like that." Anders darts a glance from one side to another. It's clear he's looking for an exit but Hawke's standing between him and the only doorway.
"You should see Varric sneak around. Now there's a talented man, err, dwarf." Hawke steps closer and grins when Anders takes an equivalent step backwards.
"Where's your deadly shadow?"
"Elsewhere." Hawke steps forward again and Anders steps back again. "What were you discussing with yourself?"
"I do not understand your deadly shadow. Do you know he…" Anders's voice trails off.
"He kissed you?"
"So he told you?" Hawke nods in response and grins even harder when Anders shakes his head at him. "And you're all right with that?"
"I trust him."
"You make no sense to me."
"Not the first time you've said that to me." Hawke steps forward quickly, so fast that Anders doesn't have a chance to do more than swallow quickly as Hawke grips his wrists with his hands. Hawke relishes the way that Anders's pulse races under his fingertips. "Come, the Warden-Commander needs to speak to us."
"And just what does Ser Warden-Commander need with us?"
"Let's go find out." Hawke squeezes his wrists and then turns, tugging Anders along behind him.
As he follows along, Anders goes with the flow, feeling like a small ship bobbing in the ocean as a giant wave sweeps it to the side. Hawke is a force of nature, one that he can well believe influenced so much change in Kirkwall to the point that the seething kettle of the Circles had boiled over in his presence. It draws Anders at the same time that it repeals him, makes him step back and wonder if he wants to get mixed up with this. It's not like there aren't plenty of other messes he could step into. Say, for example, the mess that Alish's giant Mabari hound leaves all over the place in the Keep. That might be slightly more enjoyable than mixing himself into the mess of Fenris and Hawke. Those two might smell better than a pile of dog shit but they're probably a lot harder to scrape off the bottom of his shoe.
His thoughts have carried him, hand-in-hand, with Hawke to the door of Alish's study. With a perfunctory knock, Hawke pushes his way into the study as if he owns the place. Alish only raises an eyebrow and then points towards the large table near the windows where a relief map has already been laid out.
"We've received updated information on the Templar approach." Alish steps up to the map and points.
"Rather stupid of them to attack the Wardens, isn't it?" Hawke says as he stares at the map, hand across his mouth and looking far too intelligent for Anders's wellbeing.
"Templars aren't known for their brains. They're more the slash-and-burn-on-orders sort."
Hawke huffs out a laugh and then flashes a smile at Anders, making his traitor knees weaken. "Point."
"Whether or not they have any brains, they are well-armed and they have plenty of bodies to throw at us." Of course the Templars would be willing to sacrifice so many people fighting a ridiculous fight against a neutral force because the Warden-Commander might have ended the Blight, killed an Archdemon and saved the world but he's still a mage, still an Apostate and still housing and safeguarding Apostates. Of course the Templars and Chantry would come here.
"What do you recommend we do?"
"I recommend you leave. They're here for you." At Hawke's glare, Alish holds up a hand and then continues, "I suggest you head to Weisshaupt. A direct assault on the Wardens, even this far from Weisshaupt means that the Templars will assault anywhere. The Wardens in Orlais need to know and the best person to get messengers out to every Warden Command is the First Warden."
"No one better to lead anyone through the Anders than a man from there." Anders surprises himself by volunteering. He hadn't planned it, hadn't even thought before the words were out of his mouth.
"Really?" Alish obviously echoes his surprise because he's doing the best impression of a carp out of water that Anders has ever seen. Considering that Anders, on his third, fifth and sixth escape, had spent plenty of time fishing in lakes, he's seen plenty of actual carp out of water, that's saying something.
"What?" he asks, tone and body language defensive as he crosses his arm and sticks out his hip.
"You're not exactly known for volunteering to leave the fortress."
"That's because most of our missions involve darkspawn."
"There'll be darkspawn along your way along with plenty of Templars and Chantry members out hunting you."
'They're not hunting me." Anders glares at Alish.
"Right, because you're dead," Hawke interjects. "I'd appreciate you along for the journey."
"Can't leave you alone along the journey," Carver says as he enters the room, startling Anders, as he crosses and clasps Hawke's arm.
"Neither am I. You are far too important to allow you to journey by yourself."
"Are we going on a journey? Maybe I should get some shoes, do you think I'll need shoes, Anders?"
"Bianca is always up for meeting new people and seeing new lands. Count us in."
"Who's Bianca?" Anders stares at Hawke's entourage and boggles at the way that they all just volunteered for a journey rife with danger that will last far too many weeks, weeks of camping out and fishing for carp.
"So, it's decided. You'll all go to Weisshaupt." Alish turns back towards the map. "You're dismissed."
Anders: (Past the old sign upon entering the Blackmarsh) "I'm scared. Hold me?"
Anders has enjoyed his time here at the fortress. It's never felt as confining as the Circle though Anders isn't certain that it's because of the friendship (something he'd had in the Circle but not in such large amounts) or if it's because of the constant escape possibilities (though, really, fighting the darkspawn menace isn't much of an escape).
What he won't miss is the way that he never knows who is going to be in his room because there aren't any locks on the door. It's an instinctual lunge back out the door when he sees Fenris calmly stroking his blade in Anders's favorite chair. The chuckle, deep and alluring to the side of the doorway, keeps him from going much further.
"Afraid he's going to spear you with his overly large sword?" Hawke asks as he stalks towards Anders.
"Compensating much?" Anders asks as he steps into the room and casually sidesteps so he's in a corner with his back protected and his staff leaning beside him. The protection inherent in the staff's proximity calms his heartbeat just enough to make him realize that his heart rate soars as Hawke steps closer again.
"He's not compensating." Hawke steps even closer and then whispers against Anders's earlobe, so close that his tongue touches Anders's skin, "And neither am I. We'd like you to find out."
"What?" Anders gasps, his voice going high-pitched.
"We'd like you to find out that Fenris's abnormally large sword isn't compensating for any shortcomings on either of our parts."
Hawke's hand reaches out and caresses Anders's face, palm cupping his cheek and making Anders feel like he'd be willing to do almost anything. It distracts him so much that Anders hadn't realized that Fenris crossed the room until Fenris's hand reaches over Hawke's shoulder to cup his other cheek.
"I would taste rain," Fenris says, adding to the maelstrom of crazy confusion swirling in Anders's head.
"You both want what?"
"We both want to taste you and we'd like you to taste us."
"Is this your idea of a joke?"
"No," Hawke says and then kisses him, sending all confusion flying under the rush of want and need that take over. Then there's a second mouth, a second tongue touching his lips and sending him right back into confusion. He makes to open his mouth to speak but all that accomplishes is two sets of tongues licking into his mouth and touching his own.
When they leave his mouth and lips, he lunges forward to recapture that fullness once more. There are hands all over his face and his neck, his chest and threading into his robes to tug him closer. When he can finally speak, all he can say is, "Please."
Nathaniel: You don't always wear robes, do you?
Anders: Not when I'm naked I don't.
Hawke can't believe this is happening. Completely undreamt of, Hawke leans towards Anders as Fenris plasters himself to Hawke's back, fingertips reaching out to touch the face that he's known in a different incarnation. He feels the familiar-but-not skin under his fingertips as he traces along Anders's face, following the path of cheekbone, down the slope of his nose and then along his lips before following the jawline to his ears and then up along his eyebrows before going back down to his lips.
"Anders," he breathes out as he leans further, meeting Anders halfway so that lips touch lips hesitantly. Hawke can feel Fenris kissing his neck, hands teasing at Hawke's chest, pinching and rolling his nipples underneath the shirt he still wears. That touch of lips against lips makes him shudder as his hands delve further into Anders's hair. The hair loosens out of the tie that he's perpetually wearing, causing the hair to fall in a gentle wave to frame their faces. Hawke pulls back from the chaste kiss to play with that hair, pushing it away from his face only to let it fall once more.
It stuns him that he has the ability to do this, after everything. He has the two men that he loves touching him right now and that takes his breath away. Anders smiles at him, knowing and enigmatic all at the same time, before taking his lips once more, tongue tracing the seam of Hawke's lips. "Open up," Anders says against his lips and Hawke is helpless to resist the order. He opens up and that tongue darts into his mouth and Hawke is done. Taken. Overwhelmed.
Shuddering at the feel of tongue touching tongue while another tongue traces along the back of his shoulders and fingers tease and torment at his chest, Hawke's in sensory overload, his hands frozen in Anders's hair awhile he stands stiffly between them. Anders's hands press against Fenris's hands, flattening them against his chest where his heart races so fast that it's a wonder it hasn't exploded.
"Fenris," he pants out as he watches Fenris maneuver so that Anders is touching him and he's touching Anders while Hawke stands sandwiched between them. "Are you certain?"
"In this form, he is acceptable," Fenris murmurs against the back of his neck.
"Acceptable? I'll show you acceptable." Anders slides Hawke's face out of the way and then grasps the back of Fenris's neck, tugging him in to kiss him. It's one of the best sights Hawke has ever seen.
"That's more than acceptable." Hawke grins at the echoing smiles. He's a blessed man, a very blessed man with the most amazing love of his life in front of him who happens to be willing to play with the first man to capture Hawke's heart in Kirkwall.
"We should strive for more than acceptable. Perhaps fewer clothes would help?" Fenris says as he starts to open Anders's robes.
"I agree. Fewer clothes."
"Who am I to argue with logic like that?" Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they strip Anders.
"Then let's get on with it."
Nathaniel: How do the templars always find you, Anders?
Anders: Incredibly angry, that's how they find me.
"You're not packing anything with feathers, are you?" Fenris asks as he traces circles on Anders's chest.
"I hadn't planned on it. Feathers look atrocious on me." Anders reaches over and does the same as Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they trace his skin with their entwined fingers.
"It wasn't one of your better looks."
"Yes, thanks. Good thing it wasn't actually me."
"A very good thing," Hawke whispers against the back of his neck.
"We leave at noon. It's time we gather our things and meet the others."
"Perhaps a bath is in order. We smell like sex."
"Very good sex."
"Wouldn't want to corrupt Merrill, would you?" Anders asks as he reaches his hand behind him and grabs on to Hawke's waist and pulls him in closer.
"I would prefer not to listen to Varric for the next fifty years."
"You make a fair point, Fenris." Hawke licks at Anders's neck again and then leans over him and kisses Fenris. "So, Weisshaupt, huh? How long will it take?"
"Depends on how many darkspawn hordes there are, how many Templar patrols we find, if there are any Chantry people about on our trip and, well, some of my folk aren't too hospitable towards mages, either."
"So just a few days then?"
"Whatever you say, Hawke." Anders shakes his head and wonders what he's getting himself into but he's certain he'll enjoy the journey.
Nathaniel: You seem rather attached to that cat, Anders.
Anders: It's more that he is rather attached to me. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)
Nathaniel: Isn't that name a little... ridiculous?
Anders: What do you think I should call him? Frederick?
Nathaniel: There are worse names, I suppose...
Cullen watches the chaos in the town below, the way that people cry out for justice from the misdeeds of his predecessor and his gut churns with all of it. He has to do something about this or else everything that Aveline and he keep trying to do mean nothing.
"I can help you with your quest for Justice."
The voice comes from behind him, beside him and in front of him. "Who are you?"
"I am Justice and I need a new partner."
"I saw what you did to Anders - "
He's interrupted by Justice. "It was never Anders. Anders would never have been able to accomplish what I was able to do with the help of a creature even more desiring of Justice. No one should keep another living creature for his or her own, miserable whims. No one should toy with another living being, as you know with the way that Meredith toyed with all of your Templars and all of the people of Kirkwall."
"You're right."
"Then consider my offer."
"I will think about it."
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.
Author: wook77
Artist: kath_ballantyne
Beta: elanorofcastile
Canon: Dragon Age 2
Pairing: m!Hawke/Fenris, Fenris/m!Hawke/Anders (eventually)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings:
Wordcount: 11,150ish
Summary: In the aftermath of Anders's destruction of the Chantry and his subsequent death, Hawke is surprised to discover that Anders is alive and well in Amaranthine. There's no Justice and no manifesto. There is, however, the attraction and love he'd felt before Anders's manifesto and his relationship with Fenris.
Author's Notes: Contains fade to black sex scene. Many thanks to my artist who is rather amazing and did a fantastic job in a very short period of time. Also thanks to reddwarfer for letting me babble at her many, many times as I fleshed out the fic. Title shamelessly stolen from a She Wants Revenge song. Further acknowledgements of inspiration are considered spoilers and, thus, under whiteout text * This fic is inspired by an offhand comment David Gaider made that, in response to the question "who took Anders's cat away?", was: Nobody. Ser Pounce-a-lot was possessed by the spirit of Justice, and transformed his body to look like his former owner. Then one day he chased a mouse onto a ship and ended up in Kirkwall. It was the weirdest thing. Yeah, I rolled with it.*
Fenris: Meeting you was the most important thing that ever happened to me, Hawke.
Hawke loves these moments with Fenris, loves the way that Fenris softens, just a hint, under Hawke's hands and mouth. He cherishes them because it's so rare that Fenris allows this sort of treatment outside of the bedroom, where anyone can chance upon them and see that softness.
"You have nothing to fear from him," Hawke says as he swipes his lips across Fenris's, brushing their noses back and forth. "It is you I love."
Fenris smiles back at him, arms coming around him and pulling him in close. "You love him, as well. Or you will, once you see that he is the same as you fell in love with but you are an honorable man, Hawke, and you will not stray even if it tears you apart."
"You with your doubts. Do not doubt that I love you." Hawke presses closer, until they're aligned chest to leg, and then kisses him once more. This time, he lines their mouths up and thrusts his tongue into Fenris's mouth. Moaning into the mouth that he's gotten to know as well as his own, Hawke traces along the lines of lyrium on Fenris's neck. Breaking the kiss slightly, he licks along the lines that he's just traced, across Fenris's chin and then further down until the lines are buried by the armor. Taking half a step back, he pulls Fenris's arm away from his hip and then traces his inner arm, along his elbow and down until those, too, are hidden from his questing tongue. He repeats with the other arm then steps closer and kisses Fenris once more, tongue touching tongue.
"You are a cruel man to tease me so when there is no where for you to finish what you've started," Fenris breathes into his neck, tongue darting out to trace along Hawke's neck.
"Then let us retreat to where I can prove my true cruelty."
Justice: You have seen oppression and are now free. You must act to free those who remain oppressed.
Anders: Or I could mind my business, in case the Chantry comes knocking.
Justice: But this is not right. You have an obligation.
Anders: Yes, well... welcome to the world, spirit.
They all head out on a patrol. Hawke's aware that he has to earn the space in the barracks that he's taking up. It gives him time to walk with Carver, see the way that Carver seems to fit in his skin a bit better than he ever did in Ferelden or Kirkwall. He only wishes that he could figure out a way to say that to Carver without Carver blowing up at him, putting them right back into the confrontational relationship they've had for too many years.
Speaking of fitting well in his skin, Hawke can't get over the way that this Anders resembles that first Anders, the one that he'd fell in love with, so much. Anders seems happy, jovial and free here unlike the bitter shell that Hawke had killed in Kirkwall. There's guilt there and not just for killing him. That guilt shifts his focus to Fenris, where Fenris walks at his side, hand on his sword and ready at a moment's notice.
It's Anders that warns them that danger is coming as he holds up a hand. Varric sighs, pulling out Bianca. Hawke steps back, behind Fenris, giving in on this need of Fenris's to protect him, as he steadies himself for the upcoming battle.
The darkspawn are on them in a matter of moments. Fenris rushes about, glowing and dangerously beautiful in battle while Carver plows through the enemies. Hawke will never understand why Varric insists on singing to Bianca but he doesn't really care because it's effective. Almost as effective as when Fenris grabs one of the last Hurlocks, thrusts his glowing fist into the Hurlock's chest and then hefts him into the air before throwing it across the cavern, dripping heart in his hand. Hawke figures there's something wrong with him (something he isn't willing to fix, though) because Fenris's heart-ripping will never not turn him on. When he looks over to Anders, he sees the way that Anders stares at Fenris as Fenris drops the heart and then wipes the blood off his hand and arm.
Fenris: Do you see yourself as harmless, then? An abomination who would never harm someone?
Anders: Like ripping someone's heart out of his chest?
Fenris: I did that at the behest of no demon.
Anders: So we agree that it doesn't take a demon for someone to be a vicious killer? Good.
Anders finds himself alone with Fenris. It's not a state of affairs that makes him confident as to his abilities to leave the room in one piece let alone alive. His fingers grip and relax and grip once more on his staff. Anders has seen Fenris in battle and he knows damned well that he doesn't stand a chance if Fenris decides to make good on his promise to kill him, not if Fenris chooses to do that super-speed trick of his. He's seen the way that Fenris sticks his hand in an enemy's chest and yanks out his heart before the enemy even knows it's coming.
"Hawke does not know that I am here." The words send a shiver of fear down Anders's spine.
"And?"
"I do not think he would approve of what I intend."
"Then you should probably not do it. Hawke's a formidable man. I wouldn't want to upset him."
"This is worth the risk. His happiness is more important to me than anything else. My own pride included." Fenris stalks across the room towards Anders. Anders points his staff in Fenris's direction as he circles away from Fenris. He's got a sofa between the two of them when Fenris merely steps onto it and then over it, pressing Anders against a wall. At least this time, there's no sword at his neck, he thinks in borderline fear and hysteria. Anders charges his fingers with lightning and then presses them against Fenris, sending shockwaves through his body as Fenris leans in towards him.
Anders braces for the dagger that Fenris surely has sliding towards his chest. What he doesn't brace for is the feel of Fenris's lips on his own. Opening his mouth to cry out in surprise, Fenris takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Anders's mouth, touching tongue to tongue and possessing his mouth. Fenris's hands slide into his hair, holding him captive as they kiss. Surprise had held him still but the lust twisting in his gut makes him move, his hands sliding from shoving against Fenris to pulling him closer. His right leg comes off the ground and slides around Fenris's left, foot slipping between Fenris's legs and trying to bring them even closer.
Frotting against the hard cock he can feel under all that armor, Anders moans, breaking the kiss to get a breath while Fenris lips along his jawline, down over his neck to bite at the protrusion at the front of his neck.
"Please," he pants out, all thoughts slipping out of his head other than more of Fenris's mouth on his body, Fenris's hands tugging his hair and forcing his head sideways to bare more of his neck to Fenris's teeth. "Please, more."
Just as quickly as it started, it stops. Fenris steps away from him, wiping his fingertips across his mouth and then stalks out of the room.
What in the Maker's name just happened? Anders places his own fingertips against his lips, feeling the way that they've already swelled and started to bruise. His cock is so hard that he doesn't think there's any blood anywhere else in his body and all because of one, murderous and unpredictable elf with a boyfriend that Anders wants, rather desperately.
Anders: I'm just wondering how your master didn't kill you.
Fenris: How have the templars not killed you?
Anders: I'm charming.
Hawke grins at Fenris as Fenris stalks into the room, puts his hands on Hawke's shoulders and then shoves him into the wall, pressing them as close as can be while his hands grip Hawke's wrists and pin him to the wall. "What brought this on?"
"When you kissed Anders, what did you feel?" Fenris asks, lips formed into a snarl while he thrusts his hips against Hawke's.
"Fenris, what - "
"Answer the question, Hawke."
"Heat, warmth, friendship, want, need, desire, love."
"What do you feel when you kiss me?"
"The same."
"The exact same?" Fenris's teeth find Hawke's jugular and bite down. Hawke can't help the moan that breaks out of his throat, surging into the air with the same speed that his cock rises.
"No. It was gentler than what I feel for you. Passionate but gentler."
"You do not feel gentle with me?"
"You're a fire in my blood, Fenris. You're a roaring waterfall, sweeping over me. Anders was more of a bubbling brook, laughter and playfulness."
"Which do you prefer?"
"I picked you."
"Why?"
"Because your fire keeps me warm."
"And a bubbling brook would not soothe you? Laughter would not brighten your day?"
"Of course it would but I choose to have the inferno."
Fenris lets him go, stepping back, ending the passionate exchange as quickly as he'd started it. "And would you want both?"
"What?" Hawke gapes at him, completely at a loss for what the hell is going on.
"I tasted him."
"You what?" Hawke continues to gape.
"He tastes of the warmth of the sun on your face in the middle of winter. I can see why you were attracted to him. Why you are attracted to him."
"Fenris, you kissed Anders?"
"Yes. I had to know what intrigues you. His taste is… not disagreeable." Fenris's fingers trace across his lips. Hawke steps forward and traces the same path with his own fingers.
"You are what I want," Hawke whispers against Fenris's lips.
"But he is what you need. You need soothing spring rain the same as you need fire. I would give that to you, let you have that." Fenris licks Hawke's lips and he opens his mouth, taking the kiss further, sucking Fenris's tongue into his mouth and caressing it with his own.
"Only if that is what you want," Hawke finally responds when the kiss ends. "I will not do this if you think only to give me a gift."
"I will never understand your selflessness." Fenris shakes his head and then cups Hawke's face, kissing him once more.
Fenris: Do not bare your heart to me, mage, unless you would have me rip it out.
It takes Hawke two days to find Anders. The Warden-Commander is the one that points out where Anders is hiding, something that Hawke will forever be grateful for as he sneaks into the small courtyard and watches Anders pace back and forth, clearly having a discussion with himself.
"Sometimes, the only intelligent discussion I get is the one that I have with myself," Hawke says, stepping out from behind the hedge.
"Hawke! You took a year off my life sneaking up like that." Anders darts a glance from one side to another. It's clear he's looking for an exit but Hawke's standing between him and the only doorway.
"You should see Varric sneak around. Now there's a talented man, err, dwarf." Hawke steps closer and grins when Anders takes an equivalent step backwards.
"Where's your deadly shadow?"
"Elsewhere." Hawke steps forward again and Anders steps back again. "What were you discussing with yourself?"
"I do not understand your deadly shadow. Do you know he…" Anders's voice trails off.
"He kissed you?"
"So he told you?" Hawke nods in response and grins even harder when Anders shakes his head at him. "And you're all right with that?"
"I trust him."
"You make no sense to me."
"Not the first time you've said that to me." Hawke steps forward quickly, so fast that Anders doesn't have a chance to do more than swallow quickly as Hawke grips his wrists with his hands. Hawke relishes the way that Anders's pulse races under his fingertips. "Come, the Warden-Commander needs to speak to us."
"And just what does Ser Warden-Commander need with us?"
"Let's go find out." Hawke squeezes his wrists and then turns, tugging Anders along behind him.
As he follows along, Anders goes with the flow, feeling like a small ship bobbing in the ocean as a giant wave sweeps it to the side. Hawke is a force of nature, one that he can well believe influenced so much change in Kirkwall to the point that the seething kettle of the Circles had boiled over in his presence. It draws Anders at the same time that it repeals him, makes him step back and wonder if he wants to get mixed up with this. It's not like there aren't plenty of other messes he could step into. Say, for example, the mess that Alish's giant Mabari hound leaves all over the place in the Keep. That might be slightly more enjoyable than mixing himself into the mess of Fenris and Hawke. Those two might smell better than a pile of dog shit but they're probably a lot harder to scrape off the bottom of his shoe.
His thoughts have carried him, hand-in-hand, with Hawke to the door of Alish's study. With a perfunctory knock, Hawke pushes his way into the study as if he owns the place. Alish only raises an eyebrow and then points towards the large table near the windows where a relief map has already been laid out.
"We've received updated information on the Templar approach." Alish steps up to the map and points.
"Rather stupid of them to attack the Wardens, isn't it?" Hawke says as he stares at the map, hand across his mouth and looking far too intelligent for Anders's wellbeing.
"Templars aren't known for their brains. They're more the slash-and-burn-on-orders sort."
Hawke huffs out a laugh and then flashes a smile at Anders, making his traitor knees weaken. "Point."
"Whether or not they have any brains, they are well-armed and they have plenty of bodies to throw at us." Of course the Templars would be willing to sacrifice so many people fighting a ridiculous fight against a neutral force because the Warden-Commander might have ended the Blight, killed an Archdemon and saved the world but he's still a mage, still an Apostate and still housing and safeguarding Apostates. Of course the Templars and Chantry would come here.
"What do you recommend we do?"
"I recommend you leave. They're here for you." At Hawke's glare, Alish holds up a hand and then continues, "I suggest you head to Weisshaupt. A direct assault on the Wardens, even this far from Weisshaupt means that the Templars will assault anywhere. The Wardens in Orlais need to know and the best person to get messengers out to every Warden Command is the First Warden."
"No one better to lead anyone through the Anders than a man from there." Anders surprises himself by volunteering. He hadn't planned it, hadn't even thought before the words were out of his mouth.
"Really?" Alish obviously echoes his surprise because he's doing the best impression of a carp out of water that Anders has ever seen. Considering that Anders, on his third, fifth and sixth escape, had spent plenty of time fishing in lakes, he's seen plenty of actual carp out of water, that's saying something.
"What?" he asks, tone and body language defensive as he crosses his arm and sticks out his hip.
"You're not exactly known for volunteering to leave the fortress."
"That's because most of our missions involve darkspawn."
"There'll be darkspawn along your way along with plenty of Templars and Chantry members out hunting you."
'They're not hunting me." Anders glares at Alish.
"Right, because you're dead," Hawke interjects. "I'd appreciate you along for the journey."
"Can't leave you alone along the journey," Carver says as he enters the room, startling Anders, as he crosses and clasps Hawke's arm.
"Neither am I. You are far too important to allow you to journey by yourself."
"Are we going on a journey? Maybe I should get some shoes, do you think I'll need shoes, Anders?"
"Bianca is always up for meeting new people and seeing new lands. Count us in."
"Who's Bianca?" Anders stares at Hawke's entourage and boggles at the way that they all just volunteered for a journey rife with danger that will last far too many weeks, weeks of camping out and fishing for carp.
"So, it's decided. You'll all go to Weisshaupt." Alish turns back towards the map. "You're dismissed."
Anders: (Past the old sign upon entering the Blackmarsh) "I'm scared. Hold me?"
Anders has enjoyed his time here at the fortress. It's never felt as confining as the Circle though Anders isn't certain that it's because of the friendship (something he'd had in the Circle but not in such large amounts) or if it's because of the constant escape possibilities (though, really, fighting the darkspawn menace isn't much of an escape).
What he won't miss is the way that he never knows who is going to be in his room because there aren't any locks on the door. It's an instinctual lunge back out the door when he sees Fenris calmly stroking his blade in Anders's favorite chair. The chuckle, deep and alluring to the side of the doorway, keeps him from going much further.
"Afraid he's going to spear you with his overly large sword?" Hawke asks as he stalks towards Anders.
"Compensating much?" Anders asks as he steps into the room and casually sidesteps so he's in a corner with his back protected and his staff leaning beside him. The protection inherent in the staff's proximity calms his heartbeat just enough to make him realize that his heart rate soars as Hawke steps closer again.
"He's not compensating." Hawke steps even closer and then whispers against Anders's earlobe, so close that his tongue touches Anders's skin, "And neither am I. We'd like you to find out."
"What?" Anders gasps, his voice going high-pitched.
"We'd like you to find out that Fenris's abnormally large sword isn't compensating for any shortcomings on either of our parts."
Hawke's hand reaches out and caresses Anders's face, palm cupping his cheek and making Anders feel like he'd be willing to do almost anything. It distracts him so much that Anders hadn't realized that Fenris crossed the room until Fenris's hand reaches over Hawke's shoulder to cup his other cheek.
"I would taste rain," Fenris says, adding to the maelstrom of crazy confusion swirling in Anders's head.
"You both want what?"
"We both want to taste you and we'd like you to taste us."
"Is this your idea of a joke?"
"No," Hawke says and then kisses him, sending all confusion flying under the rush of want and need that take over. Then there's a second mouth, a second tongue touching his lips and sending him right back into confusion. He makes to open his mouth to speak but all that accomplishes is two sets of tongues licking into his mouth and touching his own.
When they leave his mouth and lips, he lunges forward to recapture that fullness once more. There are hands all over his face and his neck, his chest and threading into his robes to tug him closer. When he can finally speak, all he can say is, "Please."
Nathaniel: You don't always wear robes, do you?
Anders: Not when I'm naked I don't.
Hawke can't believe this is happening. Completely undreamt of, Hawke leans towards Anders as Fenris plasters himself to Hawke's back, fingertips reaching out to touch the face that he's known in a different incarnation. He feels the familiar-but-not skin under his fingertips as he traces along Anders's face, following the path of cheekbone, down the slope of his nose and then along his lips before following the jawline to his ears and then up along his eyebrows before going back down to his lips.
"Anders," he breathes out as he leans further, meeting Anders halfway so that lips touch lips hesitantly. Hawke can feel Fenris kissing his neck, hands teasing at Hawke's chest, pinching and rolling his nipples underneath the shirt he still wears. That touch of lips against lips makes him shudder as his hands delve further into Anders's hair. The hair loosens out of the tie that he's perpetually wearing, causing the hair to fall in a gentle wave to frame their faces. Hawke pulls back from the chaste kiss to play with that hair, pushing it away from his face only to let it fall once more.
It stuns him that he has the ability to do this, after everything. He has the two men that he loves touching him right now and that takes his breath away. Anders smiles at him, knowing and enigmatic all at the same time, before taking his lips once more, tongue tracing the seam of Hawke's lips. "Open up," Anders says against his lips and Hawke is helpless to resist the order. He opens up and that tongue darts into his mouth and Hawke is done. Taken. Overwhelmed.
Shuddering at the feel of tongue touching tongue while another tongue traces along the back of his shoulders and fingers tease and torment at his chest, Hawke's in sensory overload, his hands frozen in Anders's hair awhile he stands stiffly between them. Anders's hands press against Fenris's hands, flattening them against his chest where his heart races so fast that it's a wonder it hasn't exploded.
"Fenris," he pants out as he watches Fenris maneuver so that Anders is touching him and he's touching Anders while Hawke stands sandwiched between them. "Are you certain?"
"In this form, he is acceptable," Fenris murmurs against the back of his neck.
"Acceptable? I'll show you acceptable." Anders slides Hawke's face out of the way and then grasps the back of Fenris's neck, tugging him in to kiss him. It's one of the best sights Hawke has ever seen.
"That's more than acceptable." Hawke grins at the echoing smiles. He's a blessed man, a very blessed man with the most amazing love of his life in front of him who happens to be willing to play with the first man to capture Hawke's heart in Kirkwall.
"We should strive for more than acceptable. Perhaps fewer clothes would help?" Fenris says as he starts to open Anders's robes.
"I agree. Fewer clothes."
"Who am I to argue with logic like that?" Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they strip Anders.
"Then let's get on with it."
Nathaniel: How do the templars always find you, Anders?
Anders: Incredibly angry, that's how they find me.
"You're not packing anything with feathers, are you?" Fenris asks as he traces circles on Anders's chest.
"I hadn't planned on it. Feathers look atrocious on me." Anders reaches over and does the same as Hawke's hands join Fenris's as they trace his skin with their entwined fingers.
"It wasn't one of your better looks."
"Yes, thanks. Good thing it wasn't actually me."
"A very good thing," Hawke whispers against the back of his neck.
"We leave at noon. It's time we gather our things and meet the others."
"Perhaps a bath is in order. We smell like sex."
"Very good sex."
"Wouldn't want to corrupt Merrill, would you?" Anders asks as he reaches his hand behind him and grabs on to Hawke's waist and pulls him in closer.
"I would prefer not to listen to Varric for the next fifty years."
"You make a fair point, Fenris." Hawke licks at Anders's neck again and then leans over him and kisses Fenris. "So, Weisshaupt, huh? How long will it take?"
"Depends on how many darkspawn hordes there are, how many Templar patrols we find, if there are any Chantry people about on our trip and, well, some of my folk aren't too hospitable towards mages, either."
"So just a few days then?"
"Whatever you say, Hawke." Anders shakes his head and wonders what he's getting himself into but he's certain he'll enjoy the journey.
Nathaniel: You seem rather attached to that cat, Anders.
Anders: It's more that he is rather attached to me. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)
Nathaniel: Isn't that name a little... ridiculous?
Anders: What do you think I should call him? Frederick?
Nathaniel: There are worse names, I suppose...
Cullen watches the chaos in the town below, the way that people cry out for justice from the misdeeds of his predecessor and his gut churns with all of it. He has to do something about this or else everything that Aveline and he keep trying to do mean nothing.
"I can help you with your quest for Justice."
The voice comes from behind him, beside him and in front of him. "Who are you?"
"I am Justice and I need a new partner."
"I saw what you did to Anders - "
He's interrupted by Justice. "It was never Anders. Anders would never have been able to accomplish what I was able to do with the help of a creature even more desiring of Justice. No one should keep another living creature for his or her own, miserable whims. No one should toy with another living being, as you know with the way that Meredith toyed with all of your Templars and all of the people of Kirkwall."
"You're right."
"Then consider my offer."
"I will think about it."
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.