more stuff
I find that a lot of old friends have been reconnecting with me in the last while. They have been sitting down with me and telling me things. It's as if they were checking up on me or trying to teach me something. Sometimes it was coffee or lunch or a hike, but they felt like giving me the impression that they knew something about me that I didn't know. Not just friends, but people I met at events or groups or just randomly. They seem to hint that they know what I'll wind up as, but they can't tell me because it would ruin the journey for me. Or they would tell me stories about people they know that seemed like thinly-veiled parables for what I could wind up as if things went wrong. I've had maybe at least 10 random friend cryptic prophetic revelations about my future career, life and challenges. It felt exciting, like I was on the cusp of some new chapter of my life and if I stayed true to myself I can have a life of happiness and help everyone around me achieve their dreams. They're all full of shit. They're my friends and I care about them but they are full of shit. It's hard to believe that a dozen people from my past would, in a 2-3 month period, reconnect and give me vague lessons about my future trajectory as a person, and for that not to mean something special. I mean if something like that happened it must be a calling. I have to be on the cusp of some great journey for all of this to happen. Or not. I'd like to believe that my close friends know me well enough to give me profound guidance on life. I'd like to trust them and believe that they know me better than I do. But they don't. I am different - people can't read me as well as they think they can. I know enough about my life to know that people don't know what to make of me. They pretend they can, hence everyone trying to "guide" me. But that's their own vanity thinking they can understand me. They think they know something I don't. But if they did they would just tell me in plain language. Some people seem to think I'll be a scientist or others a poet or others a jack of all trades, or a monster, or a guide, or a mother. The only thing consistent between the predictions is that they're all vague. If anyone knew what was up they would just say it. They would know enough about me to know that I don't like being manipulated and misled.