(no subject)
Clearly human civilization has dealt with mental illness before. Shakespeare knew what it was and so did many other major authors, philosophers and poets from now to antiquity. So why don't mental health professionals know how to deal with mental illness? Is there some doctrine in professional education that rules that professionals are best when they don't have any tacit knowledge about what they're doing? Is there a legal precedent that stops them from helping in any reasonable way? Is their role solely to collect data and do nothing else? Are they just jerks? Either way I'm feeling very betrayed by society and my "community". I've never wanted to be a burden or exploit generosity, but the one time I actually need and request help is the time that everyone collectively throws their hands up and yells "not my problem." I wouldn't even mind just apathy, but this feels (from my biased perspective) that my vulnerability is being abused. Mental health professionals obviously make a lot of money (albeit compared to my sub-poverty existence) but they make their comfortable livings doing what appears to be nothing (not true: they googled something for me once.) I don't even mind the corruption and laziness, but it's the constant battery and poisoning of my trust. I make the repeated mistake of believing someone when they're in a position of authority and when they claim to be out to help me or to be on my side. I know a grifter bullshitter in the street when he wants change for nothing, but now I have to suddenly learn to identify equivocators and tactical communicators with big public institutions whom I was raised to be obedient and idiotically trusting toward. And in the end everything I've said and written means nothing because I'm wrong by default. I'm the one with the stigma, who is an unreliable narrator, who is the mongrel of poor breeding and poor social class, who is disgruntled, who is weird, who is bent and psychotic. So my mouth is gagged and all I can do is sit by and watch the inverted ethics and apathy of people who have more than me, and do less than me, enjoying everything and using me to justify their spurious political meta-narratives where phenomenology replaces truth and everything I do, say or think fits into a tidy explanation for why everything is working as planned and my daily distress doesn't exist at all. Either that or it was all my fault when my only crime was believing that someone can help.