(no subject)
Let's weigh out some of my thoughts on a question that was asked of me and still just keeps getting asked over and over...
If you could go back and change everything and be solely heterosexual, would you?
PROS: No confusion of sexuality, no frustration with friends, fear of job loss or not getting a job, more of an ability to date the girls of interest, feeling safe to show affection, not fearing for my life around some people, more options for dating, no period of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, no dissatisfaction from family...
CONS: My eyes wouldn't be open, I would not have done the research and discussions I have, I would not have the ability to date the boys of interest, I would not have my current understanding of love and relationships...
Things can be added to each, but I have class soon. I want to sit there and say that I answered correctly when I said "No. While it would be easier, I wouldn't be who I am today..." but then you start to ask the question..."Is who you are today really THAT great of a person? What would have been different?"
Toss that on top of job searches, research, school ending, divorces, deaths, friends' hardtimes, and a number of other things and my mind is everywhere. I know others have it worse and that I can handle this all...but this question is coming in as an obsession. Stupid good, insightful questions...
If you could go back and change everything and be solely heterosexual, would you?
PROS: No confusion of sexuality, no frustration with friends, fear of job loss or not getting a job, more of an ability to date the girls of interest, feeling safe to show affection, not fearing for my life around some people, more options for dating, no period of suicidal thoughts and tendencies, no dissatisfaction from family...
CONS: My eyes wouldn't be open, I would not have done the research and discussions I have, I would not have the ability to date the boys of interest, I would not have my current understanding of love and relationships...
Things can be added to each, but I have class soon. I want to sit there and say that I answered correctly when I said "No. While it would be easier, I wouldn't be who I am today..." but then you start to ask the question..."Is who you are today really THAT great of a person? What would have been different?"
Toss that on top of job searches, research, school ending, divorces, deaths, friends' hardtimes, and a number of other things and my mind is everywhere. I know others have it worse and that I can handle this all...but this question is coming in as an obsession. Stupid good, insightful questions...