Old Friends
Wow... it has been many years and out of the blue an old friend reminds me of what it was like to have a crush on someone.
To note, this was the one who got away.
Now, much to my dismay I was married at the time when I met this person. I was blunt, she knew about it, I was on the verge of divorce (as evidenced by the fact I am divorced and have been for some time), and I never promised anything more than I could offer at the time. Still... I also remember the times we spent chatting online, the closeness that was felt.
I have to wonder if karma over the way I treated the people I have been close to over the years has been the reason I have not really had a close relationship since I was married.
There was a fling or two... but I can honestly say I have not really been in love since. A few crushes here and there, but nothing that actually comes close to love.
So. I think love is much like any drug of choice. If you have a bunch of it, you can become resistant to it. It becomes something that is blase, something that really doesn't impact you all that much the more you use it. When you are detoxing from it... there is nothing that seems sweeter to you. Nothing that you crave quite like love. And nothing that is quite as desireable as a love lost. It is like a 20 year old single malt scotch when you have been sober for months. It is like the smell of lavender on the first day of spring when the sun breaks through the clouds. It is the thing that you can never have again, but you want more than anything else in the world.
I want to thank a lost love for inviting me back into their life. As a friend, but still as something.
Always remember, no matter what happens in life, things go on. Things still move and change often times faster than we can imagine. Even if change is painful, it still shapes us into who we were meant to be. Never be afraid to live life and do that which must be done.
Drew
To note, this was the one who got away.
Now, much to my dismay I was married at the time when I met this person. I was blunt, she knew about it, I was on the verge of divorce (as evidenced by the fact I am divorced and have been for some time), and I never promised anything more than I could offer at the time. Still... I also remember the times we spent chatting online, the closeness that was felt.
I have to wonder if karma over the way I treated the people I have been close to over the years has been the reason I have not really had a close relationship since I was married.
There was a fling or two... but I can honestly say I have not really been in love since. A few crushes here and there, but nothing that actually comes close to love.
So. I think love is much like any drug of choice. If you have a bunch of it, you can become resistant to it. It becomes something that is blase, something that really doesn't impact you all that much the more you use it. When you are detoxing from it... there is nothing that seems sweeter to you. Nothing that you crave quite like love. And nothing that is quite as desireable as a love lost. It is like a 20 year old single malt scotch when you have been sober for months. It is like the smell of lavender on the first day of spring when the sun breaks through the clouds. It is the thing that you can never have again, but you want more than anything else in the world.
I want to thank a lost love for inviting me back into their life. As a friend, but still as something.
Always remember, no matter what happens in life, things go on. Things still move and change often times faster than we can imagine. Even if change is painful, it still shapes us into who we were meant to be. Never be afraid to live life and do that which must be done.
Drew