(no subject)
Even saying nothing would have been better than saying no. At least then it would be out in the open. Why couldn't I just keep quiet? He would have gotten it then.
How am I supposed to explain years of pent up emotions to him? And if he doesn't feel the same, if he doesn't want me back, then how do I make all of those years go away? This has become so much bigger than I ever intended it to.
It's going to go badly and I'm going to get hurt. Just wait for the entry and you'll all say "Silly girl, getting her hopes up like that." I'm trying not to. The sensible, logical, practical side of me keeps saying "Stop thinking these things, it will never happen." Unfortunately the romantic side of me that stupidly believes in destiny and all of that sappy crap seems to be winning out because I can't stop thinking about these things. What if it doesn't work but it's supposed to, and then I'm doomed to settle for second best later on? I just don't see how anyone else could possibly fit me better. Doesn't he see that?
I should have said anything else besides no.
How am I supposed to explain years of pent up emotions to him? And if he doesn't feel the same, if he doesn't want me back, then how do I make all of those years go away? This has become so much bigger than I ever intended it to.
It's going to go badly and I'm going to get hurt. Just wait for the entry and you'll all say "Silly girl, getting her hopes up like that." I'm trying not to. The sensible, logical, practical side of me keeps saying "Stop thinking these things, it will never happen." Unfortunately the romantic side of me that stupidly believes in destiny and all of that sappy crap seems to be winning out because I can't stop thinking about these things. What if it doesn't work but it's supposed to, and then I'm doomed to settle for second best later on? I just don't see how anyone else could possibly fit me better. Doesn't he see that?
I should have said anything else besides no.