(no subject)
Laying in bed, I'm frantic. My head is fast, fast. I need Henry Rollins to get me through this one. If I were religious, I'd have the faith that God would get me through anything. But I'm not religious and don't believe in God. So how does an unreligious person just find the faith to believe you'll make it through somehow, some way?
And who do I ask my questions to, like "Why?". I do believe in signs and karma and I'm just a mess right now.
I can feel a tightening in my chest and if I were unmedicated I'd be in full blown anxiety attack. I may have one anyway.
Okay, don't worry. Don't panic.
I need to just curl up and read the Tao.
Even if I had a friend sitting next to me, I don't feel like talking. I feel like sleeping. It's 4:30am. Oh, it's 5am now. In the dark, it's quiet. The house is still. The baby sleeps. The TV hums. My chest rises, falls. Tightens. Rises, falls.
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