1. Teachers suddenly quitting, leaving room for an unemployed teacher to fill the role at a moment's notice. As a teacher of 30 years, I rolled my eyes right out of my head with that one. In real life, if there's a sudden vacancy there are a hundred or more people connected to the school ready to interview. No one makes a phone call to an out of work teacher they happen to know and offers them the job over the phone. That's TV, not real life.
2. A never-published author gets a $25k advance and a contract for his next (what was it, five?) books. This has never happened in the history of Ever. Nobody gets an advance on a book that hasn't even been published yet- how could the value have been assessed?
3. Mechanics becoming the owners of car dealerships. This reminds me of that stupid insurance/investment commercial about the guy who goes from bussing tables to being a chef. They are totally different skill sets. Gordon can be a genius at rebuilding engines; that doesn't give him Prerequisite # 1 on running a business. But he not only owns a car dealership, but rents limos and runs a coffee shop....give me a break. Just, stop.
4. College dropouts being expert editors. Just, why?
5. Pharmacists giving up their high-paying careers to run small sewing schools. Again, show me a real-life example.
This list could be a hundred items long, I'm sure.
The only things that could actually happen in real life are "mediocrity with a guitar standing around belly-aching about someone with actual gifts declaring war on her because she won't indulge the vanity of a drip on an ego trip", "desperate idiot with PTSD marrying the boy Mommy picks" and "useless ass abdicating his responsibility to his wife and children because being an adult is hard work".
Other classics are Mike leaving his editor job as a sacrifice to save the jobs of people being laid off. The people still get laid off except for Mike’s assistant who may have found herself promoted to editor and given the job of laying people off.
One of other favorites is Jeremy Jones beating up April and the school choosing to solve the problem by bringing in the parents who don’t show up. Problem solved.
Elly’s employment problem with Kortney Krelbutz being solved when she is fired while Elly is on vacation. This is after Elly specifically indicated that she did not want to fire Kortney.
Lily Petrucci leaves a treasure trove of ancient toys in perfect condition in the basement of her store for Elly to sell at an enormous profit. This is like in the Storage Wars show where the storage locker always has some magical item in it that makes up for the price of the locker.
It has been nearly 18 years since Mike destroyed any credibility he might have in the publishing industry and I am still shaking my head in confused dismay that the author thought it wasn't an affirmative defense for manslaughter. Deanna should have shot him in the face with a bazooka.
Seriously. Of all the things that are not things, that is the most not-thingiest. I mean, I'd understand if she was a DNA Patterson, then running a knitting club would be referred to as "running a small so it doesn't threaten her husband's status as head of the household to retrograde morons sewing school." Because Liz lives there, and the creator adores Anthony, we can call his decision to take in boarders to make ends meet "Running a Bed and Breakfast" and because Michael is a DNA Patterson, we can call his creating Lifetime movie scripts "being a famous writer."
Other things that don't happen in real life:
1. Teachers suddenly quitting, leaving room for an unemployed teacher to fill the role at a moment's notice. As a teacher of 30 years, I rolled my eyes right out of my head with that one. In real life, if there's a sudden vacancy there are a hundred or more people connected to the school ready to interview. No one makes a phone call to an out of work teacher they happen to know and offers them the job over the phone. That's TV, not real life.
2. A never-published author gets a $25k advance and a contract for his next (what was it, five?) books. This has never happened in the history of Ever. Nobody gets an advance on a book that hasn't even been published yet- how could the value have been assessed?
3. Mechanics becoming the owners of car dealerships. This reminds me of that stupid insurance/investment commercial about the guy who goes from bussing tables to being a chef. They are totally different skill sets. Gordon can be a genius at rebuilding engines; that doesn't give him Prerequisite # 1 on running a business. But he not only owns a car dealership, but rents limos and runs a coffee shop....give me a break. Just, stop.
4. College dropouts being expert editors. Just, why?
5. Pharmacists giving up their high-paying careers to run small sewing schools. Again, show me a real-life example.
This list could be a hundred items long, I'm sure.
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The only things that could actually happen in real life are "mediocrity with a guitar standing around belly-aching about someone with actual gifts declaring war on her because she won't indulge the vanity of a drip on an ego trip", "desperate idiot with PTSD marrying the boy Mommy picks" and "useless ass abdicating his responsibility to his wife and children because being an adult is hard work".
Reply
One of other favorites is Jeremy Jones beating up April and the school choosing to solve the problem by bringing in the parents who don’t show up. Problem solved.
Elly’s employment problem with Kortney Krelbutz being solved when she is fired while Elly is on vacation. This is after Elly specifically indicated that she did not want to fire Kortney.
Lily Petrucci leaves a treasure trove of ancient toys in perfect condition in the basement of her store for Elly to sell at an enormous profit. This is like in the Storage Wars show where the storage locker always has some magical item in it that makes up for the price of the locker.
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6. anybody actually attending small sewing schools.
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Seriously. Of all the things that are not things, that is the most not-thingiest. I mean, I'd understand if she was a DNA Patterson, then running a knitting club would be referred to as "running a small so it doesn't threaten her husband's status as head of the household to retrograde morons sewing school." Because Liz lives there, and the creator adores Anthony, we can call his decision to take in boarders to make ends meet "Running a Bed and Breakfast" and because Michael is a DNA Patterson, we can call his creating Lifetime movie scripts "being a famous writer."
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It helps a lot to remember that these people share Elly's over-inflated ego. Next to her, Victor Von Doom is the picture of humility.
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