Let's see what happens when Elly tries whining about how old she is to someone she sees as being the same age her self-loathing makes her think she looks like:
All of this could have been avoided if Jim had just made a few things clear to his daughter-
1. "I'm not interested in being told how old I am or the medical issues I have. I am an adult, I listen to my doctor, so I know this stuff already."
2. "I am even less interested in listening to your whining. Do you come over here to talk my ear off to give your husband and Connie and everyone else you know a break?"
And he should be saying one thing to Iris:
"If I can't talk to you in confidence, I can't talk to you at all. Why are you broadcasting our conversations to my daughter? This is an assisted-living apartment. I don't need you to take care of me. If you treat me like this again, you can pack your bag and leave."
Elly, like Lynn, likes the old guys who don't complain. When Lynn Johnston did her interview with Caring Today back in 2008, that was the recurring theme. She liked old people who were suffering in silence.
The hidden subtext is the shrieking dread that they'd browbeat her into dropping everything to play nursemaid to some old fart who took too long to die.
Elly couldn't do that for her father after her mother died and while she took credit for doing it, she probably did not take care of Tom Johnston after Ruth Johnston died. This is probably the reason Iris was created, so that there would be someone to take care of Jim/Mervyn, like Lynn was unable to do in real life.
When my paternal grandmother came to stay with us for 6 months, I was 16 and very independent. My parents both worked, so it was my job to get the dinner on and Gram’s appearance in the kitchen was "one too many cooks!" She had just lost her husband, was lonely and depressed, and my dad had invited her to stay. Having spent her adult lifetime looking after others, she naturally put herself to work - on my turf! From the day we set eyes on each other, we were rivals. Gram had my bedroom. I was sleeping in the basement in a "room" made of plywood boards and a curtain. I resented this terribly. I resented her teeth in a glass on my dresser and her clothes in my closet. I also resented being told what to do by someone other than my parents, and her criticism irritated me beyond belief.
One day I saw her fidgeting with the oven. It was a gas oven, and she wasn’t familiar with the way the oven worked. When I tried to tell her how to do it, she barked at me to mind my own business, that she knew how
( ... )
eurgh. I watched tons of cooking shows in the hospital and maybe it's because I was feeling vulnerable at the time but I was very moved by a lot of these cooks talking about the warm hearted moments they would have when they were kids helping their granmas cook, and then I get out of the hospital and read fucked up crap from Lynn.
There is a point in there with the very old, where they tend to make mistakes they might not have made when they were younger. I can easily imagine Ursula coming home, finding a destroyed oven, and chastising Lynn for knowing better and not stopping her grandmother from doing something stupid. Also, an exploding oven that blasts Granny across the room is when you call the ambulance.
Of course, since Lynn does not mention a word of that, I expect this story is one of those stories that is completely made up. That she hated her grandmother I have no doubt. Lynn is very consistent in her grievances and hatred.
Let's see what happens when Elly tries whining about how old she is to someone she sees as being the same age her self-loathing makes her think she looks like:
( ... )
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All of this could have been avoided if Jim had just made a few things clear to his daughter-
1. "I'm not interested in being told how old I am or the medical issues I have. I am an adult, I listen to my doctor, so I know this stuff already."
2. "I am even less interested in listening to your whining. Do you come over here to talk my ear off to give your husband and Connie and everyone else you know a break?"
And he should be saying one thing to Iris:
"If I can't talk to you in confidence, I can't talk to you at all. Why are you broadcasting our conversations to my daughter? This is an assisted-living apartment. I don't need you to take care of me. If you treat me like this again, you can pack your bag and leave."
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But he won't do either thing because he confused being nice with being kind.
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Elly, like Lynn, likes the old guys who don't complain. When Lynn Johnston did her interview with Caring Today back in 2008, that was the recurring theme. She liked old people who were suffering in silence.
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The hidden subtext is the shrieking dread that they'd browbeat her into dropping everything to play nursemaid to some old fart who took too long to die.
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Elly couldn't do that for her father after her mother died and while she took credit for doing it, she probably did not take care of Tom Johnston after Ruth Johnston died. This is probably the reason Iris was created, so that there would be someone to take care of Jim/Mervyn, like Lynn was unable to do in real life.
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What I'm actually thinking of was when Merv and Ursula had her camp out in the basement while an elderly relative took over her room.
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Thursday January 15, 2015 Lynn’s Notes:
When my paternal grandmother came to stay with us for 6 months, I was 16 and very independent. My parents both worked, so it was my job to get the dinner on and Gram’s appearance in the kitchen was "one too many cooks!" She had just lost her husband, was lonely and depressed, and my dad had invited her to stay. Having spent her adult lifetime looking after others, she naturally put herself to work - on my turf! From the day we set eyes on each other, we were rivals. Gram had my bedroom. I was sleeping in the basement in a "room" made of plywood boards and a curtain. I resented this terribly. I resented her teeth in a glass on my dresser and her clothes in my closet. I also resented being told what to do by someone other than my parents, and her criticism irritated me beyond belief.
One day I saw her fidgeting with the oven. It was a gas oven, and she wasn’t familiar with the way the oven worked. When I tried to tell her how to do it, she barked at me to mind my own business, that she knew how ( ... )
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eurgh. I watched tons of cooking shows in the hospital and maybe it's because I was feeling vulnerable at the time but I was very moved by a lot of these cooks talking about the warm hearted moments they would have when they were kids helping their granmas cook, and then I get out of the hospital and read fucked up crap from Lynn.
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Dipshit was too stupid to realize that they wanted her to cut the Suzy Homemaker act.
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There is a point in there with the very old, where they tend to make mistakes they might not have made when they were younger. I can easily imagine Ursula coming home, finding a destroyed oven, and chastising Lynn for knowing better and not stopping her grandmother from doing something stupid. Also, an exploding oven that blasts Granny across the room is when you call the ambulance.
Of course, since Lynn does not mention a word of that, I expect this story is one of those stories that is completely made up. That she hated her grandmother I have no doubt. Lynn is very consistent in her grievances and hatred.
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Charming. A delightful story about an asshole kid who's too stupid to realize that Daddy was trying to shove coins in the woman's meter.
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oh god. My mother is like this. She loooooooooooooooooves it when anyone (not just old people) shuts the hell up about being in pain.
In before anybody else says it, no, my mother is not a boomer.
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She's into the stiff upper lip crap.
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she sure the fuck is. I love my mom but she drives me nuts sometimes.
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Lynn Johnston, born in 1947, is most definitely a boomer.
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