Wednesday, 28 August 2024

[dreadedcandiru2]

The one where John pays for trying to get an insecure idiot to laugh at her own folly.

Synopsis: It's late at night so of course, Elly ambushes John with a question about her appearance that has no right answer because Elly has an unacknowledged hatred of being reassured.

Summary: A great way to aggravate Elly is to point out this tendency of hers

Comments

[dreadedcandiru2]

Also, as I said, Elly hasn't the least idea that when she's in one of her "Don't you dare reassure me because it means that you think my feelings are a pile of horse buns" phases



that she's a nightmare to be around:



See that face? It's the face of a woman who doesn't see the belligerent and unforgiving whackjob her family fears when she whines to Connie about how people tell crazy lies about her accusing Elizabeth of wanting them to buy eyeglasses in bulk. Liz can be made to feel bad about her hair. Elly would reach down his throat and pull his heart out.

[jjamele]

The idea that Elly couldn't sleep because two adults were being "pushed" into something they didn't want to do always cracked me up. First, this is none of your business. Stop trying to be a damn empath when you showed zero empathy for your children when they needed it. Second, if Mike and Dee can't stand up to Dee's mom, they aren't ready to get married, period.

[dreadedcandiru2]

But she isn't being supportive at all. She's reacting to the threat of someone else booming in Mike's ears. It's Martha all over again because she doesn't like competition.

[howtheduck]

If Deanna and Mike did not want to have the expensive wedding they were not paying for, all they needed to do was tell Deanna's parents that they were already married and they would have saved themselves the hassle and saved the parents the money. Not only that but it would have made Deanna's mother happy that she was not "living in sin" with Mike. It is win-win-win.

The fact that they were going through with the wedding indicated that they actually wanted that expensive wedding, no matter how much they complained about it.

[jjamele]

my nephew and his wife got married at a little donut shop in Oregon, with almost no guests as it's the other side of the country and nobody- including them- had ever been there before. It was a trendy thing to do, I think. When they came back, they decided that they wanted a big reception to a wedding nobody went to. We had a pig roast, a big cake, music, the works, all outside on my parents' lawn. It was a lot of fun, but clearly they missed the big party after the wedding thing.

If Dee and Michael really didn't want a big wedding, they could have said "no." They didn't say "no," not because they were weak but because, as you say, they probably wanted the big wedding but wanted to make it seem like it was a sacrifice to them to have one. In other words, they acted exactly as you'd expect Pattersons to act.

[dreadedcandiru2]

It says a lot about those two stupid people that they did not tell her mother that.

[jjamele]

Stinks heavily of "Oh please don't make a fuss this is the color pattern we want and where we are registered please don't make a big deal out of it plan for 500 guests please we just want a little wedding did I mention where we are registered?"

[dreadedcandiru2]

Just imagine the gibbering and shrieking coming from the Patterswine if Mira had accused them of doing what they were doing.

[howtheduck]

Yes, I thought it was telling that everyone knew about their secret wedding except the people who were paying for the fancy wedding.

[dreadedcandiru2]

There is a Patterson who does not know. Twenty three years later, Liz still has no idea what happened because Elly assumes that someone told her despite her telling April to keep it a secret from the Big Mean Lady Who Wants To Hurt Everybody And Laugh At Their Suffering.

[jjamele]

What they did was almost criminal- by pretending that they weren't married, they basically conned Dee's parents into paying for an unnecessary wedding. While piously insisting they didn't want one.

[dreadedcandiru2]

By framing their mark as the bad guy, they enabled April to think that people who don't roll over and yip for a dog yummy have declared war on her.

[howtheduck]

Yes. pious insisting. Later on Deanna insists she does not want the brand new baby equipment that her parents wanted to buy for her, as a part of her piety. Then Lovey Saltzman talked Mira out of buying the new stuff, just as Deanna decided she didn't want to be pious anymore.

Too bad, Lovey wasn't there for the wedding planning. She might take Mira aside and say, "Oy! Why are you going through this? You know they're already married."

[jjamele]

People like Mike and Dee are perfectly capable of rationalizing away every "principle" with "we don't want to cause trouble" or (best of all) this is to benefit THEM, not ME. In Dee's case, she'll take the big expensive wedding because her mom wants one- Dee will "sacrifice" for her mother's sake.) Dee will take the new, expensive toys because she "doesn't want to hurt her mother's feelings" and will be upset when she's caught in the trap of her own hypocrisy. Mike and Dee probably manage to convince themselves that they are being a huge help to their parents by living in April's bedroom- Elly gets to see her grandchildren more. Later getting mom and dad to uproot to the Tiny Train House is for THEIR benefit- John gets room for his trains, Elly gets to shop, and "this house is too big for my poor, aging parents anyway." Dee wants the Stubbs house but she'll "sacrifice" and take the Pattermanse for Michael's sake. And on and on it goes.

[dreadedcandiru2]

I wonder how they spin displacing April. Knowing them, somebody's need to try to turn the child into her nanny was meant to be a positive that benefited her.

[howtheduck]

I know what you mean. When you take a close look at Deanna, you can see that there is a subtle schemer there, getting her way in a very passive-aggressive method.