absenteeism
Sorry I've been completely non-present.
Have hardly even been checking the ol' lj
a symptom of my general miserableness i think.
Hard to post when you feel there's really nothing too positive to post about.
Had possibly one of the worst weeks of my life since the whole person-whose-name-i'm-trying-not-to-drop debarcle six years ago.
Yup, that's right.
Coming up on six weeks free as a bird.
How incredible strange.
I know you're all going to argue with me if i say how empty my life is, but apart from a few shining lights, that's how i feel.
Essie and SJ I don't know what I'd do with out you. And you too dea, of course, my creative bastion.
But I have been feeling increasingly worthless. A large part of it is, of course, the lack of working. But uni is becoming a source of self-doubt rather than the thing of joy it was last year. Partly because I've taken on subjects on the edges of my comfort zone, but partly because everything I try seems to be going awry.
I had a GREAT work placement sort of lined up which I my inadvertent foot-putting may well have irreparably fucked that up. I won't find out for a few weeks, so in the meantime will hunt down something just as awesome.
The grant for the play has been received so should find out about that in may.
I will TRY to get work with the Adelaide Fringe while I am working on that in Adelaide.
I am reconsidering heading to the US next year. While I do want to travel, somebody said in general conversation 'why do people think that if they've never worked here they'll do any better there' and while there are reasons (different 'look', 'feel', more work in general, though of course, more going for it, and just the experience of it all) there is a point to what he said. And I'm not working here. No one's even the slightest bit interested.
On the up side, I am paying for the priveledge of screen testing for a few casting directors (including Jan Russ from neighbours on the 5th) and Jo Rippon seemed very impressed with my work on Saturday. The downside - cos you know there's gotta be one - she's not casting anything at the moment.
There are some positives on the writing side of things, but i'm so flummoxed by uni that those are stilted too.
Also, great fucking course opportunities coming up which I just can't commit to due to course overlaps, weekend commitments etc etc Feeling so disjointed.
So yeah, that's why i haven't been updating.
ANd this is not to say I haven't had awesome days and some cool things happen, but i am despairing, because i'm not sure what to hope for let alone how to do it.
And I know there are ways I should and could be helping myself, but I always seem to find reasons why they're impracticle or inaccessable, at least until my uni work is done. which is another six weeks.
I am wasting so much of my life and I don't even know how.
see, bet you wish i hadn't posted now lol.
Cheery little fellow!
Have hardly even been checking the ol' lj
a symptom of my general miserableness i think.
Hard to post when you feel there's really nothing too positive to post about.
Had possibly one of the worst weeks of my life since the whole person-whose-name-i'm-trying-not-to-drop debarcle six years ago.
Yup, that's right.
Coming up on six weeks free as a bird.
How incredible strange.
I know you're all going to argue with me if i say how empty my life is, but apart from a few shining lights, that's how i feel.
Essie and SJ I don't know what I'd do with out you. And you too dea, of course, my creative bastion.
But I have been feeling increasingly worthless. A large part of it is, of course, the lack of working. But uni is becoming a source of self-doubt rather than the thing of joy it was last year. Partly because I've taken on subjects on the edges of my comfort zone, but partly because everything I try seems to be going awry.
I had a GREAT work placement sort of lined up which I my inadvertent foot-putting may well have irreparably fucked that up. I won't find out for a few weeks, so in the meantime will hunt down something just as awesome.
The grant for the play has been received so should find out about that in may.
I will TRY to get work with the Adelaide Fringe while I am working on that in Adelaide.
I am reconsidering heading to the US next year. While I do want to travel, somebody said in general conversation 'why do people think that if they've never worked here they'll do any better there' and while there are reasons (different 'look', 'feel', more work in general, though of course, more going for it, and just the experience of it all) there is a point to what he said. And I'm not working here. No one's even the slightest bit interested.
On the up side, I am paying for the priveledge of screen testing for a few casting directors (including Jan Russ from neighbours on the 5th) and Jo Rippon seemed very impressed with my work on Saturday. The downside - cos you know there's gotta be one - she's not casting anything at the moment.
There are some positives on the writing side of things, but i'm so flummoxed by uni that those are stilted too.
Also, great fucking course opportunities coming up which I just can't commit to due to course overlaps, weekend commitments etc etc Feeling so disjointed.
So yeah, that's why i haven't been updating.
ANd this is not to say I haven't had awesome days and some cool things happen, but i am despairing, because i'm not sure what to hope for let alone how to do it.
And I know there are ways I should and could be helping myself, but I always seem to find reasons why they're impracticle or inaccessable, at least until my uni work is done. which is another six weeks.
I am wasting so much of my life and I don't even know how.
see, bet you wish i hadn't posted now lol.
Cheery little fellow!