You asked for it
So a few people have been IM'ing me and calling me about my livejournal and why I haven't kept it up-to-date. Wlel, its because i've been busy. But now, I have some time to update and such.
Work is going pretty good. I really like my job as an Assistant Hall Director! However I feel that this job is holding me back at times. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I feel like I could be doing a lot more. Also, I think that this job as in a way isolated me, which I will get to later on.
Grad school is both great and is kicking my ass. There is so much reading that needs to get accomplished. I just don't feel like I am back into 'school mode' just yet. I am hoping I find it soon! I really want to do well within this program. For those of you who know me well, you know that I don't accept average. I want to excel in everything that I do. Yes, I know that is not always possible nor is it really healthy. I think a lot of it stems from my sexuality and being gay. I feel that I need to prove to the world that I am something other than just a gay male. That is why I strive for fantastic grades and to get involved in so many things etc. It is a constant struggle within myself that only I can battle. Its odd. I can't really express what I really want to say, so i'm going to move on and not confuse anymore of you.
Which brings me to my next point of feeling isolated. Well...I feel isolated. I feel that being an AHD, I am limited to who I can become friends with. I cannot really become 'friends' with the students on my floor or my RAs. Becasue then there is a fine line whenit comes to displinary actions (if need be). I would call other AHDs and RHDs in my area, but I don't know if they would be willing to hang-out becasue the subject of our jobs always comes up.
Besdies Drew, I don't really have anyone else in Buffalo that I am close with. I am so afraid of smothering him, always wanting to hang-out with him becasue he is the only one here for me. If that happens it is possible that we will get sick of each other and our relationship could start to have big issues. I don't want that at all. I never really considered that when I came to Buffalo that I would be basically all by myself. I don't know how to meet people anymore. It was so second nature to me at BCC and Brockport. And now, all of a sudden, i'm alone. I am really trying to give Drew his space becasue he does have other friends in the area...and I don't want to be the cause of why he never sees them. At times, I am jealous of him becasue he does have other friends.
So yea, there's an update for you. I should go. Not that I have things to do rather i'm just out of ideas on what to write about and I am getting a little emotional too. I miss my friends.
Work is going pretty good. I really like my job as an Assistant Hall Director! However I feel that this job is holding me back at times. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I feel like I could be doing a lot more. Also, I think that this job as in a way isolated me, which I will get to later on.
Grad school is both great and is kicking my ass. There is so much reading that needs to get accomplished. I just don't feel like I am back into 'school mode' just yet. I am hoping I find it soon! I really want to do well within this program. For those of you who know me well, you know that I don't accept average. I want to excel in everything that I do. Yes, I know that is not always possible nor is it really healthy. I think a lot of it stems from my sexuality and being gay. I feel that I need to prove to the world that I am something other than just a gay male. That is why I strive for fantastic grades and to get involved in so many things etc. It is a constant struggle within myself that only I can battle. Its odd. I can't really express what I really want to say, so i'm going to move on and not confuse anymore of you.
Which brings me to my next point of feeling isolated. Well...I feel isolated. I feel that being an AHD, I am limited to who I can become friends with. I cannot really become 'friends' with the students on my floor or my RAs. Becasue then there is a fine line whenit comes to displinary actions (if need be). I would call other AHDs and RHDs in my area, but I don't know if they would be willing to hang-out becasue the subject of our jobs always comes up.
Besdies Drew, I don't really have anyone else in Buffalo that I am close with. I am so afraid of smothering him, always wanting to hang-out with him becasue he is the only one here for me. If that happens it is possible that we will get sick of each other and our relationship could start to have big issues. I don't want that at all. I never really considered that when I came to Buffalo that I would be basically all by myself. I don't know how to meet people anymore. It was so second nature to me at BCC and Brockport. And now, all of a sudden, i'm alone. I am really trying to give Drew his space becasue he does have other friends in the area...and I don't want to be the cause of why he never sees them. At times, I am jealous of him becasue he does have other friends.
So yea, there's an update for you. I should go. Not that I have things to do rather i'm just out of ideas on what to write about and I am getting a little emotional too. I miss my friends.