First-draft sticky-fingered scum, eh?
Still trying to figure out how to work this confounded mathom I found in the box marked WOW!! BAD SHIT!! in Sancho's closet.
Hmm... (pores over manual) By sweet Elbereth's teats, I've translated ancient Quenya, I wasn't stumped by the Doors of Moria, and I'm not about to be bested by a text called "Gelignite for Dummies." After all, I'm no moron like that clone they've all been whining to have back. Ha! Let him languish in the Professor's lower desk drawer... I've taken his place in this dimension and I'm here to stay!
And once I've puzzled out how to use this implement of destruction, it's bye-bye Frodo Baggins.... hello, Sam's truly impressive gardening tool undivided attention!
Ahhh... to once again have Samwise give that perfect satisfaction that made his old Gaffer so proud... (straightens mithril lingerie) But first things first.
Let's see... apply this thing called a Zippo lighter to the fuse...
Hmm... (pores over manual) By sweet Elbereth's teats, I've translated ancient Quenya, I wasn't stumped by the Doors of Moria, and I'm not about to be bested by a text called "Gelignite for Dummies." After all, I'm no moron like that clone they've all been whining to have back. Ha! Let him languish in the Professor's lower desk drawer... I've taken his place in this dimension and I'm here to stay!
And once I've puzzled out how to use this implement of destruction, it's bye-bye Frodo Baggins.... hello, Sam's truly impressive gardening tool undivided attention!
Ahhh... to once again have Samwise give that perfect satisfaction that made his old Gaffer so proud... (straightens mithril lingerie) But first things first.
Let's see... apply this thing called a Zippo lighter to the fuse...