RIP Toren Smith
I'm deeply saddened to note the passing of my friend Toren Smith.
Here's his Wikipedia page. He passed away on March 4th, not March 5th as some reports are indicating.
Let me tell you a story.
Back in the early part of 1993, his wife Tomoko had to go to Japan on an extended trip and leave him in the USA to run the business, which was Studio Proteus. Several weeks into her journey, John and I went over to catch up and see how he was faring -- and when I walked into their kitchen to hoist a soda from the fridge and find a glass to pour it into, it was like being slapped in the face.
This was when I found out something about him -- namely, Toren Smith *hated* doing dishes. It was his childhood punishment chore, so he avoided doing them until he ran out. Apparently he'd been improvising for the better part of a month, because the dishes on the bottom of the pile were grusesome and covered with moldy whiskers. He kind of shrugged, made absolutely no apology since it was his own damn house (nor did I expect one from him), and told me why they had been left in the sink for so long.
So while he and John visited, and since I'd had to run the hot water and get the soap to wash a glass *anyway*, I rolled up my sleeves and stood in the kitchen for twenty minutes and did all of his dishes. Toren hadn't asked me to and other than a perfunctory nod from him as we were leaving, nothing was said of it.
Then Worldcon came and went and Christmas came and went -- and in the beginning of 1994, Toren procured the This Woman's Work boxed set of CDs for me because he had recalled that I'm a big fan of Kate Bush. This was the boxed set that hadn't been released in the USA, but he'd gone to Canada for the holidays.
"Thanks for doing the dishes," he said.
I was floored.
And *that* my friends, is who we lost.
Thanks for letting me share this.
Toren Vance Smith
April 12, 1960 - March 4, 2013
Here's his Wikipedia page. He passed away on March 4th, not March 5th as some reports are indicating.
Let me tell you a story.
Back in the early part of 1993, his wife Tomoko had to go to Japan on an extended trip and leave him in the USA to run the business, which was Studio Proteus. Several weeks into her journey, John and I went over to catch up and see how he was faring -- and when I walked into their kitchen to hoist a soda from the fridge and find a glass to pour it into, it was like being slapped in the face.
This was when I found out something about him -- namely, Toren Smith *hated* doing dishes. It was his childhood punishment chore, so he avoided doing them until he ran out. Apparently he'd been improvising for the better part of a month, because the dishes on the bottom of the pile were grusesome and covered with moldy whiskers. He kind of shrugged, made absolutely no apology since it was his own damn house (nor did I expect one from him), and told me why they had been left in the sink for so long.
So while he and John visited, and since I'd had to run the hot water and get the soap to wash a glass *anyway*, I rolled up my sleeves and stood in the kitchen for twenty minutes and did all of his dishes. Toren hadn't asked me to and other than a perfunctory nod from him as we were leaving, nothing was said of it.
Then Worldcon came and went and Christmas came and went -- and in the beginning of 1994, Toren procured the This Woman's Work boxed set of CDs for me because he had recalled that I'm a big fan of Kate Bush. This was the boxed set that hadn't been released in the USA, but he'd gone to Canada for the holidays.
"Thanks for doing the dishes," he said.
I was floored.
And *that* my friends, is who we lost.
Thanks for letting me share this.
Toren Vance Smith
April 12, 1960 - March 4, 2013