turbulent at best
the amount of crazy is increasing at an alarming rate
just days ago i was thinking: he's not sleeping with other girls, this is terrible!
and now i'm thinking: he must be sleeping with other girls, this is terrible!
and days ago i was also thinking: He's communicating with me far too often, this is too much effort, i can't take this!
and now i'm thinking: he's not communicating with me enough, what's wrong with him? i can't take this!
i also feel like i'm a light switch with two positions: madly in love and total disgust.
it's this sort of emotional ridiculousness that quickly becomes exhausting and leads to the worst of breakdowns. i don't envision this getting any better soon - it's still escalating. i know it will even off eventually with rolling periods of apathy but eventually the switch will get stuck either on or off and the drop off will be at least as drastic as this climb has been.
the worst part of all is this (THIS what i am describing here) isn't even tangible - it's all pretend made up craziness in my head. NOTHING has changed with him or the world. and i can see whats going to happen and i know (know) it will happen soon.
i'm dangling above the darkness. and i'm convinced there are terrible TERRIBLE things down there...
just days ago i was thinking: he's not sleeping with other girls, this is terrible!
and now i'm thinking: he must be sleeping with other girls, this is terrible!
and days ago i was also thinking: He's communicating with me far too often, this is too much effort, i can't take this!
and now i'm thinking: he's not communicating with me enough, what's wrong with him? i can't take this!
i also feel like i'm a light switch with two positions: madly in love and total disgust.
it's this sort of emotional ridiculousness that quickly becomes exhausting and leads to the worst of breakdowns. i don't envision this getting any better soon - it's still escalating. i know it will even off eventually with rolling periods of apathy but eventually the switch will get stuck either on or off and the drop off will be at least as drastic as this climb has been.
the worst part of all is this (THIS what i am describing here) isn't even tangible - it's all pretend made up craziness in my head. NOTHING has changed with him or the world. and i can see whats going to happen and i know (know) it will happen soon.
i'm dangling above the darkness. and i'm convinced there are terrible TERRIBLE things down there...