terribly impractical
all day long i have been writing this entry over and over in my head - which seems silly because first off, it hasn't improved one bit and second, it doesn't really seem all that worth thinking about all day long. or maybe it is and that's the whole point.
either way.
i've lost you. i know that now. and it was inevitable. i knew that always, or more precisely shortly after having met you. and my reaction to this loss is very subtle, almost non existent but these words are the proof it exists. this brooding over nothing. it's hardly a loss if you never had a concrete thing to begin with, but still something has fallen away. that protective 'maybe, if only' coating that melts in your mouth - dissolved. and what do i have to show? bitterwseet. i hate bittersweet.
i didn't get this far in my head...
come to think about it i think i've lost you too. it's just harder to admit defeat then it is to seperate from someone. i don't think i could take another minute of you, and i will hate myself the next time we meet. unless maybe there isn't one.
and you too. you're terribly impractical and likely to give me an ulcer.
sitting in my hole is safe. dark and dirty and lonely and safe. and terrible. upsettingly terrible. but it doesn't matter because when the smoke clears, nothing is the same except for me. unwaveringly static as everyone flows by me.
either way.
i've lost you. i know that now. and it was inevitable. i knew that always, or more precisely shortly after having met you. and my reaction to this loss is very subtle, almost non existent but these words are the proof it exists. this brooding over nothing. it's hardly a loss if you never had a concrete thing to begin with, but still something has fallen away. that protective 'maybe, if only' coating that melts in your mouth - dissolved. and what do i have to show? bitterwseet. i hate bittersweet.
i didn't get this far in my head...
come to think about it i think i've lost you too. it's just harder to admit defeat then it is to seperate from someone. i don't think i could take another minute of you, and i will hate myself the next time we meet. unless maybe there isn't one.
and you too. you're terribly impractical and likely to give me an ulcer.
sitting in my hole is safe. dark and dirty and lonely and safe. and terrible. upsettingly terrible. but it doesn't matter because when the smoke clears, nothing is the same except for me. unwaveringly static as everyone flows by me.