some of these are repeats
Bitching About Girls that Shave
.
Shaving doesn’t make me a republican
It means I hate bush.
In New Paltz all the girls have leg hair
This is how to change the world.
.
Lila has golden locks growing from her armpits,
And she wears organic deodorant
She thinks it smells like a proletariat uprising.
This is how to start a revolution.
This is how to be an anarchist.
.
I protest by blacking out on weekends,
Stealing vodka from liquor stores,
I can’t promote capitalism or consumption
So I vomit from all the drinking
And violent sex with strangers.
This is how to start a revolution.
.
I dated a girl who dumped me
Because I don’t believe in monogamy
Or property rights.
I live by the barter system
Blowing droogs for bud
.
I shave my legs everyday.
.
At Ithaca dealers get expelled
And everyone just accepts it
At least in New Paltz they try to change the world.
They still believe that leg hair can shake things up.
.
But you can’t blame the students
How can I be free when the government runs my school?
Programming children to consume and comply.
Teaching history from the winner’s perspective.
.
This is how to start a revolution.
Bitch about Dick Cheney’s régime
And how Clinton ordered the air raids on Columbia.
.
This is how to be an anarchist.
One in one-hundred Americans are in jail
For non-violent crimes like addiction and ignorance.
Stalin would be jealous.
The war on drugs is the war on people
Nancy told us to just say no
And I just want to scream more more harder harder.
I was trained to consume.
.
I steal from Target so I can pay to get fucked up.
This is how to promote localized capitalism.
This is how to be an anarchist
This is how to start a revolution.
.
I’m sick of all this talking
And believing things can change
By sitting in classrooms
And bitching about chicks that shave.
.
.
.
Oakland, NJ does not have Disco Techs
.
We spent a night on a table in Hoboken
We wrote words on the air with cold breath.
Shoving our bodies together
Trying to change the season.
.
Jess was on the couch
Fucking the square she was dating at the time.
They slept under coats on pillows
We didn’t sleep that night.
.
That was the night we lost the dime bag.
in the park where the bums slept on benches.
The benches were worse than tables
and it’s colder outside.
the New York City sky line blocks out all the stars.
.
The NYPD kicked out Left Över Crack
So they played Asbury lanes instead
Because the jersey police don’t care.
.
And they wouldn’t let us leave for a fag
But it was worth it.
.
Jello spoke to us that night
Made up for Stza’s cracking voice
Made up for the shitty sound system.
Jello made it worth it.
.
At his house I wished we still had that bag
His mom made us something out of a box.
While thinking about how much she wants me
as a daughter in law.
.
For Christmas she sent me ginger snaps,
But he forgot to give them to me.
.
.
.
RIP Monday Night Poetry
.
Oh roll your leg over
Oh roll your leg over
Roll leg over
And fuck me till noon
.
Jesus sang it to me once
after saying my tits were like
the library of congress
if boobs were like books.
.
The girl with a tiny notebook only came once.
I asked her if she wrote short poems
Because of the short pages
She just said no and never came back.
.
We used to write poems about soup
for Drew, who got fired
and then so did we
so we moved again.
And stopped writing poems about soup.
.
The new barista had bad eyebrows
and couldn’t make coffee.
.
Amy used to buy me cigarettes
before I was old enough to smoke.
She was happy when I turned 18
She said it made her feel guilty.
.
We workshop guilty pleasures,
using pen names like naughty needles.
Until people stopped coming.
No one left to drink bad coffee.
.
.
.
Ghuzal
.
I want the snow to stay on the ground
and to dance barefoot on the cold earth.
.
I want to kiss you on the neck, back and shoulder
and to never know the definition of hunger.
.
If the radiator breaks from exhaustion
and the cold learns to bite harder,
.
I want to wrap myself in blankets and you
and to build colonies of conglomerate people.
.
I want to be naked on the longest night
and to never crave for more.
.
.
.
Five Haikus on Autumn
.
1. The trees of autumn
Celebrating the colors
So much like vomit
.
2. In September threes
Puke beautifully onto
Soon-to-be-brown grass
.
3. Arborariums
Hospitals made to help, lost
Bulimic foliage
.
4. Tress grow fat, obese
In the warming springtime air
Wait for fall to purge
.
5. The grass is eating,
Like a baby bird feeding,
Mothers chewed up food.
.
.
.
How to Write an Autobiographical Poem
.
ALWAYS write about the thing people don’t want to read.
Write it like a life time movie:
. based on a true story.
But not the ones with happy endings
NO ONE like a happy ending.
.
Write about that time your best friend
took too much dope.
Make sure they know that dope
. doesn’t mean weed.
.
Write about the boy who tried to rape you
. And the one that succeeded.
Be as graphic as possible.
It’s what the people crave,
another sad story.
.
Write about your bad childhood.
And if you weren’t abused
. lie.
It’s what the people want to hear.
.
.
.
Funk ‘n Waffles™
.
We sit,
Stoned and amused.
.
The band:
. 5 synths
. 2 drums
guitars and bass.
.
The band whose name is too long to remember.
.
We eat the waffle made of brownie
and covered in ice cream.
.
This is how we spend our weekends;
Squeezing in and out of smoke-
filled back alleys.
Pushing into packed coffee shops
next to dive bars.
.
The funk plays on
We dance
Awkward and mechanical
.
Food heavy in our stomach
We move like flappers
We move like monsters
Feet and arms flailing
.
We skank.
.
Two four-piece drum sets
play the exact same notes.
The band of too many people.
.
Mea is in the corner
We want to believe she’s with a girlfriend
We want to believe we ever had a chance.
.
.
.
Home
.
Lexi grabs my hand.
Maggie’s fucking a boy in the patch of ivy.
I am crying-
. but not really.
Leaning against a tree.
.
The tree Amanda and I pissed on to be closer to nature-
to pretend that we weren’t really here.
But I am,
and Lexi grabs my hand.
.
“Want to go home?”
pathetic nodding.
.
In the car we are quiet,
the driver looks at my bloody knees.
Where I had fallen before-
trying to find Lexi.
Lexi in her bubblegum pink wig.
I wish she was still holding my hand.
.
Upstairs we cook,
1. boil water
2. add pasta
3. drain water
4. cut and add:
tomatoes
carrots
apples
onions
grapes
5. season with-
dill
parmesan
sea salt
.
We watch Amelie
Idly reading subtitles.
.
We eat our pasta
And drink water with grapes in it.
.
It reminds me of home.
I want her to hold my hand again,
Instead I pass out in her roommate’s bed
Happy to be alive.
.
.
.
Botticelli Always Drew the Same Woman too
.
I miss being able to kiss her when I want to
I never really wanted to be solely with her
Just wish I got to wake up naked
next to her
just once.
.
But we respected each other too much
you can’t have sex with
someone you respect.
Or maybe that’s just me.
.
But that doesn’t change the fact
that I want to throw her on the floor
and make her
scream my name.
.
I hate that I’m too straight for her
sand she’s too good for me.
I hate that every her I ever write about
is always her.
And I can’t wait to get married
so she’s the reason I get divorced.
.
And then maybe
I can wake up naked next to her.
but really
You can’t have sex with someone you respect
.
.
.
The Boy That Reminds Me of Gorbachev
.
I know about the moles.
The ones you tried to hide by growing your hair out,
I know them.
.
When I cut your hair,
the mohawk you used to have
I cut it off.
That’s when I saw them.
.
Your whole face turned red
as I pointed and laughed
Told you, I would cut your hair short
so everyone could see them.
But I didn’t.
.
I know that when you kiss
you sometimes are a bit
overzealous.
I know that when I kissed you
in the bathroom
it should have been the last time.
No one should have found out,
but it wasn’t,
and they did.
.
They told me she cut your hair this time,
the girl that kisses you in bathrooms
and hallways
and bedrooms.
.
Does she know about the moles.
.
.
.
Autobiography
.
1. This is when I discovered my feet
almost 24 inches
9 pounds 3 ounces
already walking.
.
2. Teeth and toes
not yet ready to speak
.
3. Sentences dance out of my mouth
rushing through tiny teeth
asking to be heard.
.
4. Dad lets me stay up late
we watch figure skating on TV
this was when we still talked.
.
5. The first of the pictures.
Megan with no teeth
Adam with too much hair
together we wait for the bus to come.
.
6. Depressed because they took away nap time.
.
7. This is when the nun threw out
my favorite stuffed animal
I brought it in for show and tell
The janitors took it away.
.
8. We play girls chase boys
in the parking lot
or at least everyone else does.
.
9. Genna started wearing a bra
everyone was jealous
.
10. basketball and trumpet
.
11. We built volcanoes
but mine didn’t explode
this is the year we wore
plaid skirts instead of jumpers.
.
12. Adam went away
to a should that taught him
how to shoot a gun
.
13. This is when I learned to play the tuba
.
14. Black nails.
Mall rat.
Laser tag.
.
15. Mike and Lyle sing me
The Bangles and Barbie girl
on late night college radio.
.
16. This is when I met Neal.
.
17. Booze
Drugs
Cigarettes
Fucking.
Sorry Minor Threat.
.
18. A lot of the same
.
19. Concussion at the knitting factory.
It was worth it.
.
.
.
Haiku for Valentines Day
.
Bottichelli’s muse
Deserved more then a mix tape
But flowers cliché.
.
Shaving doesn’t make me a republican
It means I hate bush.
In New Paltz all the girls have leg hair
This is how to change the world.
.
Lila has golden locks growing from her armpits,
And she wears organic deodorant
She thinks it smells like a proletariat uprising.
This is how to start a revolution.
This is how to be an anarchist.
.
I protest by blacking out on weekends,
Stealing vodka from liquor stores,
I can’t promote capitalism or consumption
So I vomit from all the drinking
And violent sex with strangers.
This is how to start a revolution.
.
I dated a girl who dumped me
Because I don’t believe in monogamy
Or property rights.
I live by the barter system
Blowing droogs for bud
.
I shave my legs everyday.
.
At Ithaca dealers get expelled
And everyone just accepts it
At least in New Paltz they try to change the world.
They still believe that leg hair can shake things up.
.
But you can’t blame the students
How can I be free when the government runs my school?
Programming children to consume and comply.
Teaching history from the winner’s perspective.
.
This is how to start a revolution.
Bitch about Dick Cheney’s régime
And how Clinton ordered the air raids on Columbia.
.
This is how to be an anarchist.
One in one-hundred Americans are in jail
For non-violent crimes like addiction and ignorance.
Stalin would be jealous.
The war on drugs is the war on people
Nancy told us to just say no
And I just want to scream more more harder harder.
I was trained to consume.
.
I steal from Target so I can pay to get fucked up.
This is how to promote localized capitalism.
This is how to be an anarchist
This is how to start a revolution.
.
I’m sick of all this talking
And believing things can change
By sitting in classrooms
And bitching about chicks that shave.
.
.
.
Oakland, NJ does not have Disco Techs
.
We spent a night on a table in Hoboken
We wrote words on the air with cold breath.
Shoving our bodies together
Trying to change the season.
.
Jess was on the couch
Fucking the square she was dating at the time.
They slept under coats on pillows
We didn’t sleep that night.
.
That was the night we lost the dime bag.
in the park where the bums slept on benches.
The benches were worse than tables
and it’s colder outside.
the New York City sky line blocks out all the stars.
.
The NYPD kicked out Left Över Crack
So they played Asbury lanes instead
Because the jersey police don’t care.
.
And they wouldn’t let us leave for a fag
But it was worth it.
.
Jello spoke to us that night
Made up for Stza’s cracking voice
Made up for the shitty sound system.
Jello made it worth it.
.
At his house I wished we still had that bag
His mom made us something out of a box.
While thinking about how much she wants me
as a daughter in law.
.
For Christmas she sent me ginger snaps,
But he forgot to give them to me.
.
.
.
RIP Monday Night Poetry
.
Oh roll your leg over
Oh roll your leg over
Roll leg over
And fuck me till noon
.
Jesus sang it to me once
after saying my tits were like
the library of congress
if boobs were like books.
.
The girl with a tiny notebook only came once.
I asked her if she wrote short poems
Because of the short pages
She just said no and never came back.
.
We used to write poems about soup
for Drew, who got fired
and then so did we
so we moved again.
And stopped writing poems about soup.
.
The new barista had bad eyebrows
and couldn’t make coffee.
.
Amy used to buy me cigarettes
before I was old enough to smoke.
She was happy when I turned 18
She said it made her feel guilty.
.
We workshop guilty pleasures,
using pen names like naughty needles.
Until people stopped coming.
No one left to drink bad coffee.
.
.
.
Ghuzal
.
I want the snow to stay on the ground
and to dance barefoot on the cold earth.
.
I want to kiss you on the neck, back and shoulder
and to never know the definition of hunger.
.
If the radiator breaks from exhaustion
and the cold learns to bite harder,
.
I want to wrap myself in blankets and you
and to build colonies of conglomerate people.
.
I want to be naked on the longest night
and to never crave for more.
.
.
.
Five Haikus on Autumn
.
1. The trees of autumn
Celebrating the colors
So much like vomit
.
2. In September threes
Puke beautifully onto
Soon-to-be-brown grass
.
3. Arborariums
Hospitals made to help, lost
Bulimic foliage
.
4. Tress grow fat, obese
In the warming springtime air
Wait for fall to purge
.
5. The grass is eating,
Like a baby bird feeding,
Mothers chewed up food.
.
.
.
How to Write an Autobiographical Poem
.
ALWAYS write about the thing people don’t want to read.
Write it like a life time movie:
. based on a true story.
But not the ones with happy endings
NO ONE like a happy ending.
.
Write about that time your best friend
took too much dope.
Make sure they know that dope
. doesn’t mean weed.
.
Write about the boy who tried to rape you
. And the one that succeeded.
Be as graphic as possible.
It’s what the people crave,
another sad story.
.
Write about your bad childhood.
And if you weren’t abused
. lie.
It’s what the people want to hear.
.
.
.
Funk ‘n Waffles™
.
We sit,
Stoned and amused.
.
The band:
. 5 synths
. 2 drums
guitars and bass.
.
The band whose name is too long to remember.
.
We eat the waffle made of brownie
and covered in ice cream.
.
This is how we spend our weekends;
Squeezing in and out of smoke-
filled back alleys.
Pushing into packed coffee shops
next to dive bars.
.
The funk plays on
We dance
Awkward and mechanical
.
Food heavy in our stomach
We move like flappers
We move like monsters
Feet and arms flailing
.
We skank.
.
Two four-piece drum sets
play the exact same notes.
The band of too many people.
.
Mea is in the corner
We want to believe she’s with a girlfriend
We want to believe we ever had a chance.
.
.
.
Home
.
Lexi grabs my hand.
Maggie’s fucking a boy in the patch of ivy.
I am crying-
. but not really.
Leaning against a tree.
.
The tree Amanda and I pissed on to be closer to nature-
to pretend that we weren’t really here.
But I am,
and Lexi grabs my hand.
.
“Want to go home?”
pathetic nodding.
.
In the car we are quiet,
the driver looks at my bloody knees.
Where I had fallen before-
trying to find Lexi.
Lexi in her bubblegum pink wig.
I wish she was still holding my hand.
.
Upstairs we cook,
1. boil water
2. add pasta
3. drain water
4. cut and add:
tomatoes
carrots
apples
onions
grapes
5. season with-
dill
parmesan
sea salt
.
We watch Amelie
Idly reading subtitles.
.
We eat our pasta
And drink water with grapes in it.
.
It reminds me of home.
I want her to hold my hand again,
Instead I pass out in her roommate’s bed
Happy to be alive.
.
.
.
Botticelli Always Drew the Same Woman too
.
I miss being able to kiss her when I want to
I never really wanted to be solely with her
Just wish I got to wake up naked
next to her
just once.
.
But we respected each other too much
you can’t have sex with
someone you respect.
Or maybe that’s just me.
.
But that doesn’t change the fact
that I want to throw her on the floor
and make her
scream my name.
.
I hate that I’m too straight for her
sand she’s too good for me.
I hate that every her I ever write about
is always her.
And I can’t wait to get married
so she’s the reason I get divorced.
.
And then maybe
I can wake up naked next to her.
but really
You can’t have sex with someone you respect
.
.
.
The Boy That Reminds Me of Gorbachev
.
I know about the moles.
The ones you tried to hide by growing your hair out,
I know them.
.
When I cut your hair,
the mohawk you used to have
I cut it off.
That’s when I saw them.
.
Your whole face turned red
as I pointed and laughed
Told you, I would cut your hair short
so everyone could see them.
But I didn’t.
.
I know that when you kiss
you sometimes are a bit
overzealous.
I know that when I kissed you
in the bathroom
it should have been the last time.
No one should have found out,
but it wasn’t,
and they did.
.
They told me she cut your hair this time,
the girl that kisses you in bathrooms
and hallways
and bedrooms.
.
Does she know about the moles.
.
.
.
Autobiography
.
1. This is when I discovered my feet
almost 24 inches
9 pounds 3 ounces
already walking.
.
2. Teeth and toes
not yet ready to speak
.
3. Sentences dance out of my mouth
rushing through tiny teeth
asking to be heard.
.
4. Dad lets me stay up late
we watch figure skating on TV
this was when we still talked.
.
5. The first of the pictures.
Megan with no teeth
Adam with too much hair
together we wait for the bus to come.
.
6. Depressed because they took away nap time.
.
7. This is when the nun threw out
my favorite stuffed animal
I brought it in for show and tell
The janitors took it away.
.
8. We play girls chase boys
in the parking lot
or at least everyone else does.
.
9. Genna started wearing a bra
everyone was jealous
.
10. basketball and trumpet
.
11. We built volcanoes
but mine didn’t explode
this is the year we wore
plaid skirts instead of jumpers.
.
12. Adam went away
to a should that taught him
how to shoot a gun
.
13. This is when I learned to play the tuba
.
14. Black nails.
Mall rat.
Laser tag.
.
15. Mike and Lyle sing me
The Bangles and Barbie girl
on late night college radio.
.
16. This is when I met Neal.
.
17. Booze
Drugs
Cigarettes
Fucking.
Sorry Minor Threat.
.
18. A lot of the same
.
19. Concussion at the knitting factory.
It was worth it.
.
.
.
Haiku for Valentines Day
.
Bottichelli’s muse
Deserved more then a mix tape
But flowers cliché.