(no subject)
a major reason why I dislike this job, I work alone most of the day and I have way too much time to think about things. not to mention there's hardly any mental stimulation, just the same old bullshit everyday. I was patching up the concrete in some of the basements, thinking far too much. of course eventually I thought of De. the situation came to mind of Joe telling his g/f that he had sex with someone while they were on a break, when actually they were still together. I thought about what happened with de and that guy in the bar. I really wonder if we were actually together when that happened, or if she ever cheated on me any other time while we were together. I realized something from john, joe, matt at work and my break up that all happened close to each other. in every instance it was a serious relationship and in every instance the girl drug out the relationship for months without any affection in the form of kissing or anything else. they were trying to get over us, while still keeping us there. it makes it easy to break up with them if you've already been working on getting over them for the past 6 months. I'm pretty sure mine was already flirting around with people. meanwhile, all of us think that we were just in a bumpy spot that we'd eventually get out of then we get way-laid with "I think we need to break up". in my own instance this went on as well, but we were broken up for about two months right before I moved back. I guess I was still hanging onto moments while I was there, satisfying my need to be with her even if it was just laying next to her. I never dealt with breaking up with her until I couldn't physically be with her anymore though. now for some reason, I miss her more than I've ever missed anyone or anything. it sucks