man the week ended...
hey yall just so you know i am cryin as i type this.its hurts to type this cuz i feel like its makin it more official but me and ryan have broken up.i love him and he still loves me.it didnt end ugly.i dont know lemme start from the beginning.this weekend was overwhelming and crazy.on friday i went to justins party and got drunk off my ass,and i am a depressed drunk.i cryed so much.i remember everything.ok i was drunk and started to cry.ryan was there for me and made me stop cryin.so after i started to feel better i was stupid and took 2 more shots.i had already had too much b4 i knew it i started cryin again that lasted till my mom came and got me.i stoped cryin for a sec cuz ryan told me too or i would get caught.he just sed to stay quiet for the ride home.so i agreed.he opened the car door and helped me sit down and as soon as i sat down i started cryin and told him i was sorry and he just walked away cuz he didnt know wut else to do.my mom took me home and i told her everything and she took care of me.i woke up the next mornin and she helped me over come my hang over.she sed she should have been mad but she wasnt.so that was great she wasnt mad at me.and i had to work and it was the worst work day i have ever had.but at least i made some money.so saturday after work i went to ryans it was a bland night and nothin happened.but today i went to work saw adriane and we talked for a bit and then around 4 i was talkin to ryan and we ended up by the end of the conversation throwin in he towel on our relationship.its so painful.i know things will work somehow if we are ment to be then we will find a way to be together.oh yeah at my work today i decided everything was too overwhelming and put in my 2 weeks notice.that was just a side note.anyways back to me and ryan...i feel bad.i didnt ever want this to happen but i am where i am and there isnt much i can do.im puttin my life in fates hands.alot of people spend their life fightin fate or just turn their back on it and dont belive in it.but me i am gonna trust it and see where it takes me.i spend too much time thinkin of my problems so here it goes i am gonna put them aside by that i mean i will keep thinkin of em but i am gonna let fate do the work so this way i dont give up and i dont get into this deep dark depression and i am just sad for awhile.i know ryan is strong and is sad now and feels like this is a mistake and i feel the exact same but we will make it through we are gonna be friends and we are gonna be stronger in the end for this.we will either end up gettin back together and be stronger as a couple or we will be stronger individuals after this.either way i know things have to work out cuz everything is already as bad as it can get.i will always love you ryan rather it for a boyfriend or for just bein the beautiful person that i know you are.