(no subject)
i feel a bit, i dont know. kinda like antsy, but a scary kind. what is that? ugh either way i just feel a bit off. and why is it that i always and only post when im either depressed or drunk? luckily i havent been both. haha. anyways. things will be nice come weekend. kris is gonna be at the parents' with his wife and her kids. oh yeah. and its his bday saturday too. and then sunday is travel up to houlton with bri for the 4th on monday. ill be happy there. ive been tryin to depict my problems. yeah i know it doesnt seem like i have any/many, but really, the only problems i have are usually when im alone. then when im with company, there are no problems. its not like deny them or something....but its just that when im alone i just cant sit still, and i worry that theres something i did that is causing me to be alone at that time instead out with people. course ive gone plenty of nights alone just fine. nad this all could be nothing, but i still feel it. now that i got that crap out, i know that i am happy. i just worry, silently. doing what i can to keep people happy and to make sure that all is well. but im at the stage perhaps where i just dont know. everything is double edged. im makin money fine, but i keep wondering if it will be enough, and if ill be oki come fall. im in the best relationship ever and wouldnt trade it for anything! even a lifetime of cheesecake! hehe. and i hope that i can show you what you deserve bri. im a bit of a screw up and also words come out of my mouth that arent exactly right sometimes. i am happy though. i just get a bit lonely i guess. like a puppy waiting at home thinking that theres nothing there. so i go crazy and just go out of it. and then theres people there and im happy, no problems. haha! yeah. im a puppy. well that aint so bad. :P. oki i just handled my own thing i guess. well at least this was another interesting entry. which i may just laugh at later. im good. have a good night yall.
matty b
matty b