(no subject)
i dont like this feeling. i dont understand it. im happy, i am set with everything i need. so why the fuck am i feeling down?!im not missing anything. i dont know whats causing me to feel sad and that scares me. which doesnt help it at all. im in love. theres nothing missing. but part of me feels like i just need to curl into a ball and hide. its not like anything happened to cause this. i was at my appartment. bored with my movies as usual. thinking of bri, as usual, hehe. had an hour to kill till work. things are good. and i just suddenly felt scared with myself and with what was around me. i was wondering if i was where i was supposed to be, in life i mean. wondering how im gonna handle the summer if i have this much free time. or maybe its just cause i wasnt feeling to well to the stomache and its affected my eating a bit. i dont know. but i hope it goes away by the time i get to bed tonight. i am happy with everything. theres no reason to be feeling this. i feel weak. do i look weak? i feel like i should be on the stage performing, gettin these thoughts out. or goin for a run to just run it all out. i need to keep myself busy then there will be nothing wrong at all. it could have been the fact that i had that spare time with nothing or no one and it just sucked. well either way i have work in a bit. its alright cause i dont have to talk to much there as long as im in grill. ill be back online right after work. a little after midnight, for those that might be on you can catch me later. ok im done for now. im alright.
matty b
matty b