The dang ol' wife
Luanne is alrite sometimes, but somedays like today she pisses me off. I already told you about football tryouts and how the boy is doing SOCCER to spite his old man, but dammit why does she have to support this? The Boy is how can I put it...he's a fag in training...he needs to play some real sports to toughen him up. I already tried to enlist him, but the Army is all volunteer these days and he's somewhere between 11 and 14 and that's too young. We need to bring back the draft and get Vietnam going again. I wish I could have been in Nam' but I wasn't born until 1976, so it wasn't possible. Me and my cousin Earl Jimmy Ray (back before he got abducted and lost his shit from the PTSD caused by the rectal probes) both should have been in Nam', cause if we had been America would have beaten the Vietcongs and our record of being undefeated in war would still be intact today. We wouldn't have the won all by ourselves, but it would have been enough to tip the scales in America's favour. Now if my daddy and my granddaddy also went to Vietnam in the addition to me and my cousin then we could have won the war about a week. My daddy...he didn't fuck around. He would take me out back and whup my ass with his belt everyday cause he knew it would instill right manly character in me just like how my granddaddy whupped up on my daddy to make him the man he was and so on and so forth. I hate to be the guy who breaks the chain of discipline, but the law would take the boy away and put me back in county. I been in county before so I ain't afraid of that shit, but the boy would be put in some hippie foster home and then he'd really not be right.
Launne is too soft on the boy, she mothers him too much. He never tries at all because of it. I never should have knocked up that slut, but what's done is done. When your a high school football star your kind expected to nail the cheerleaders, I had to live up to what a 17 year old man's gotta do. She used to be all purdy back then, so it was hard not too go in her direction. Not like now where her lard ass lays on the couch and belches up some chips that got stuck in her throat.
I don't get my damn food stamps for eight more days. I'm getting pretty fucking hungry. I never should have quit the Meglomart but I couldn't stand listening to that chicken-chest 19 year old manager. I would have put him through a window if I had to listen to him anyfurther. I'm trying to get back into driving a truck cause that's man's work but nothing's come up so far. I used to drive a big rig from here in Oklahoma all the way to Florida and Californy' but they fired me cause I was too real. They say it was cause I registered a BAC of 13.95% but that's a load of shit. Besides a trucker needs to stay to sharp you know what I mean? But no that's not how shit happens, they fired me and then I was put in prison for awhile. A load of horseshit cause I was the best damn big rig driver EVER, I was better at being a trucker than playin' football or generally just being manly.
Well I hope my post turned some of you into MEN, if not I'll try again tommarrow.
Launne is too soft on the boy, she mothers him too much. He never tries at all because of it. I never should have knocked up that slut, but what's done is done. When your a high school football star your kind expected to nail the cheerleaders, I had to live up to what a 17 year old man's gotta do. She used to be all purdy back then, so it was hard not too go in her direction. Not like now where her lard ass lays on the couch and belches up some chips that got stuck in her throat.
I don't get my damn food stamps for eight more days. I'm getting pretty fucking hungry. I never should have quit the Meglomart but I couldn't stand listening to that chicken-chest 19 year old manager. I would have put him through a window if I had to listen to him anyfurther. I'm trying to get back into driving a truck cause that's man's work but nothing's come up so far. I used to drive a big rig from here in Oklahoma all the way to Florida and Californy' but they fired me cause I was too real. They say it was cause I registered a BAC of 13.95% but that's a load of shit. Besides a trucker needs to stay to sharp you know what I mean? But no that's not how shit happens, they fired me and then I was put in prison for awhile. A load of horseshit cause I was the best damn big rig driver EVER, I was better at being a trucker than playin' football or generally just being manly.
Well I hope my post turned some of you into MEN, if not I'll try again tommarrow.