I know this music... let's change the beat.
Today was flat out, full blown drama day at work provided by those two cunts of cunts, Jabba and Rozz. And, really... there's no other way to put it than that. My favorite, most insulting, hurtful word: Cunt. A cunt by any other name wouldn't smell as fishy.
They had a good strategy too. To bad for them, it blew up in their faces and went the opposite way in which they wanted it to.
Basically, in laymen's terms, someone in Florida was locked up in Citrix around 5:30 or so yesterday. The girl, we'll call Puta, called me up and of course, I was gone for the day. She then sent an email to Jabba saying she'd been locked up for a while and couldn't get a hold of me.
This is where I filled in the blanks and found the real story among the lies, because there were lies and omissions, let me tell you.
I am almost impressed with the game of chess these cunts devised. It's almost too intelligent for them. Basically, Jabba called Puta and they composed an email together that Puta sent about ten minutes after the original message she sent to Jabba in which she detailed dramatically her inability to work. This email, as is below was forwarded to myself, my boss, his assistant and the owner of the company along with a message from Jabba concerning the issue:
The email Jabba helped Puta compose and then was sent to Jabba:
"(Jabba)
Is 6.50PM and I am stuck for more than an hour, I tried to call (BillyDuran), (the CG's assistant the B.A.), (the CG) but I can't get in touch with them.
I am so frustrated because I can't finish payroll.
Please help me; I have a lot of problems with the system. It is running slow and I am stuck all the time even thought they help me all the time."
Notice the emphasis on her inability to work and how productivity is lost because of no one being there to help her. Then Jabba added her own commentary, which was no doubt masterfully crafted by her, and probably Rozz over the phone after hours, or something:
Jabba's email attached to the forward of Puta's email:
"It has come to my attention that a procedure needs to be put in place to prevent this situation from occurring in the future.
This solution needs to take into account the fact that United works in three different time zones.
How long is too long to wait for a response?
Please advise so that I may inform the remote offices as to how to react in the future."
The BA had actually mentioned to me earlier that morning that she'd received a message around six the day before from Puta on the indirect office line, which does not go through their answering service. No doubt they did that in an attempt to validate their story. The next piece on the chess board is moved.....
The BA's response to Jabba, still CCing all including the Mafioso:
"I received the voicemail from (Puta) this morning on our back office line which is not answered by our service. She usually calls me on my cellphones which as you know I answer immediately."
Jabba lashes back almost immediately:
"The following are the number that (Puta) called.
(BA) (cell number) left message
(BillyDuran) (cell number) left message
(CG) message said he was on vacation so she did not leave a message"
It now becomes perfectly clear to me what is happening here. Jabba, no doubt in cahoots with Rozz, is trying to position a checkmate around the fact I do not carry my work cellphone on me or even answer it. It is abundantly clear. And I realize that last Friday Rozz had made a snide comment about having a phone number for some security thing I had to sign "that you can be counted on to answer" and I was smug with her in return. So just like the Al Qaeda, these two cunts plotted to corner me on the issues. Unfortunately for them, I am smarter than both of their pea brains combined.
I hadn't planned on responding. I usually stay quiet like a little mouse and say nothing. I am usually the quiet little school nerd who thinks staying silent means I'll be left alone... but, I am not Josie Grossie anymore... and, these cunts need to be put in their place.
My response to all the back and forth so far, CCing all the usual suspects as well as Puta, since she was conveniently left out of emails concerning her and the numbers she supposedly called (unfortunately boys and girls, there was no unprofessional profanity in my response):
"Jabba,
A policy has been in place which was discussed by (The HR Woman) and (The CG) back in March that (The CG's Company) is to be called if I am not in the office or it is after hours. As far as I remember this was also something (The CG) discussed with (The Mafioso) at the time as well.
You can inform anyone in the remote offices that if I am not available in the future they should call (The CG's Company) main line (Main Office Number). The answering service they use pages them if the caller does not have their cell hone numbers.
(The BA) and I talked first thing this morning and she said the call from (Puta) was not to her cellphone, as it normally would be, but to (The CG's Company) back office line which is not monitored by the answering service, so you are mistaken there.
Sorry for the inconvenience"
Jabba immediately went running over to Rozz's cube where the two of them discussed how their I.T. support was once again horrid and how I am a complete incompetent.
In the meantime, my boss sends an email to Jabba alone, and then calls me to talk and tells me that he basically told her off, because by saying that his office had faltered on their response was an insult to his integrity and basically saying the BA was a liar for claiming the call hadn't gone to her cell.
He also stated to her that if she felt she could fine an I.T. consulting company or some other replacement for them, at the cost they do business with us that by all means she should go ahead and give their business to that person instead. And, as a final jab, he points out that he did not CC the Mafioso on his email to her and only feels the need to do so when dealing with issues of a truly valid and serious nature. SLAM!
Then, on the down-low I found out the BA also at this time responded back to Jabba saying that she was basically lying because there was no way in hell a call would have gone to her cellphone and her not getting it, because such a thing has never happened in the history of her service with us. Double SLAM!
Jabba retorted with the usual cowering back-tracking and bullshit. Going so far as saying it would "take weeks to pull phone records from the remote office" so she couldn't say for certain what the numbers were Puta called. The cow has no shame.
When I get back from lunch, Jabba is coming out of the Mafioso's office and running into the bathroom in a tizzy and I have an email from him telling me to stop by when I have a minute. I do, and he is about to go on a conference call so I have about two minutes. Not enough time to mount my crusade.
Mafioso: "Would you have an issue with maybe taking after hours calls on occasion. It wouldn't be like an every night thing, but when something comes up once in a while"
Yea, right... I'd have Rozz calling me on lunch almost every day when I did have my cell phone on me to ask me questions about excel spreadsheets and asking for me to stop by when I got back. Total bullshit that the cunt could have waited the thirty minutes for me to get back to look into. Or Jabba would call because someone was stuck in Citrix... yea, I don't have a laptop up my ass, nothing going to happen until I get back from lunch...
Me: "I wouldn't necessarily have an issue with it."
Mafioso: "Well, here we have all our managers and supervisors equipped with cellphones so they can be accessible in case of emergency situations. It's just part of the responsibility of the role"
Ok, when had I suddenly been given the title of "Manager" or "Supervisor"... and where besides Blockbuster or Wendy's does a manager make $17 an hour? I make the same as a payroll clerk. Are you seriously saying all this to me with a straight face? Oh, and how convenient, it's almost time for your conference call.
Me: "Before I could even say yes or no to anything there is a whole bunch of things that would need to be discussed and brought to the table and I am not sure we have the time right now to go through all of them. But, I definitely have some concerns that I would need to voice"
Mafioso: "What time are you out of here today?"
Me: "I leave at 4:00"
Mafioso: "Ok, well if I can't make time today, we'll talk tomorrow...."
Yea, right... just like all those other meetings we were supposed to have and never did. Right right right. Honestly, I do not even want him offering me any kind of sum of money to make things better and get me to do more for his company, and I will very professionally tell him that if he ever meets with me. I will tell him flat out that I do not enjoy working for his company, or being the gossip fodder for those cunts. The cunts who claim to be "so busy" yet they have an entire day to spend whispering to each other and composing emails to cause drama.
I have nothing to lose. And just like I felt when I sent that last "fuck you" email to that cow in payroll, it's how I felt there talking to him briefly and how I feel right now. I have absolutely nothing to lose by doing whatever the hell I want. They can't touch me. They can't threaten to take anything away from me. They can't do anything.
It's like I am playing chess and the most obvious move to checkmate is right there.. I can see it. I can win this. Because it is a competition, don't be mistaken. This is a battle between good and evil.
And I am almost sure of what I'd suspected for a few weeks now; that there may have been an informant of sorts that warned Rozz and Jabba about putting things in email or forwarding emails with their catty little commentary back and forth. They used to be relentless at doing that, and then it suddenly seemed to stop.
I think a little birdy on the outside might have said something, maybe not specific, but a warning advising them against it. The friend of my enemy, my enemy. No matter. I have the power of truth and the fucking decency and self-respect my mother fucking parents raised me with. What the fuck can these low-life pieces of shit do to me? It's all already been done... what else do ya got cunts?
By truth, I while living, have conquered the universe.
They had a good strategy too. To bad for them, it blew up in their faces and went the opposite way in which they wanted it to.
Basically, in laymen's terms, someone in Florida was locked up in Citrix around 5:30 or so yesterday. The girl, we'll call Puta, called me up and of course, I was gone for the day. She then sent an email to Jabba saying she'd been locked up for a while and couldn't get a hold of me.
This is where I filled in the blanks and found the real story among the lies, because there were lies and omissions, let me tell you.
I am almost impressed with the game of chess these cunts devised. It's almost too intelligent for them. Basically, Jabba called Puta and they composed an email together that Puta sent about ten minutes after the original message she sent to Jabba in which she detailed dramatically her inability to work. This email, as is below was forwarded to myself, my boss, his assistant and the owner of the company along with a message from Jabba concerning the issue:
The email Jabba helped Puta compose and then was sent to Jabba:
"(Jabba)
Is 6.50PM and I am stuck for more than an hour, I tried to call (BillyDuran), (the CG's assistant the B.A.), (the CG) but I can't get in touch with them.
I am so frustrated because I can't finish payroll.
Please help me; I have a lot of problems with the system. It is running slow and I am stuck all the time even thought they help me all the time."
Notice the emphasis on her inability to work and how productivity is lost because of no one being there to help her. Then Jabba added her own commentary, which was no doubt masterfully crafted by her, and probably Rozz over the phone after hours, or something:
Jabba's email attached to the forward of Puta's email:
"It has come to my attention that a procedure needs to be put in place to prevent this situation from occurring in the future.
This solution needs to take into account the fact that United works in three different time zones.
How long is too long to wait for a response?
Please advise so that I may inform the remote offices as to how to react in the future."
The BA had actually mentioned to me earlier that morning that she'd received a message around six the day before from Puta on the indirect office line, which does not go through their answering service. No doubt they did that in an attempt to validate their story. The next piece on the chess board is moved.....
The BA's response to Jabba, still CCing all including the Mafioso:
"I received the voicemail from (Puta) this morning on our back office line which is not answered by our service. She usually calls me on my cellphones which as you know I answer immediately."
Jabba lashes back almost immediately:
"The following are the number that (Puta) called.
(BA) (cell number) left message
(BillyDuran) (cell number) left message
(CG) message said he was on vacation so she did not leave a message"
It now becomes perfectly clear to me what is happening here. Jabba, no doubt in cahoots with Rozz, is trying to position a checkmate around the fact I do not carry my work cellphone on me or even answer it. It is abundantly clear. And I realize that last Friday Rozz had made a snide comment about having a phone number for some security thing I had to sign "that you can be counted on to answer" and I was smug with her in return. So just like the Al Qaeda, these two cunts plotted to corner me on the issues. Unfortunately for them, I am smarter than both of their pea brains combined.
I hadn't planned on responding. I usually stay quiet like a little mouse and say nothing. I am usually the quiet little school nerd who thinks staying silent means I'll be left alone... but, I am not Josie Grossie anymore... and, these cunts need to be put in their place.
My response to all the back and forth so far, CCing all the usual suspects as well as Puta, since she was conveniently left out of emails concerning her and the numbers she supposedly called (unfortunately boys and girls, there was no unprofessional profanity in my response):
"Jabba,
A policy has been in place which was discussed by (The HR Woman) and (The CG) back in March that (The CG's Company) is to be called if I am not in the office or it is after hours. As far as I remember this was also something (The CG) discussed with (The Mafioso) at the time as well.
You can inform anyone in the remote offices that if I am not available in the future they should call (The CG's Company) main line (Main Office Number). The answering service they use pages them if the caller does not have their cell hone numbers.
(The BA) and I talked first thing this morning and she said the call from (Puta) was not to her cellphone, as it normally would be, but to (The CG's Company) back office line which is not monitored by the answering service, so you are mistaken there.
Sorry for the inconvenience"
Jabba immediately went running over to Rozz's cube where the two of them discussed how their I.T. support was once again horrid and how I am a complete incompetent.
In the meantime, my boss sends an email to Jabba alone, and then calls me to talk and tells me that he basically told her off, because by saying that his office had faltered on their response was an insult to his integrity and basically saying the BA was a liar for claiming the call hadn't gone to her cell.
He also stated to her that if she felt she could fine an I.T. consulting company or some other replacement for them, at the cost they do business with us that by all means she should go ahead and give their business to that person instead. And, as a final jab, he points out that he did not CC the Mafioso on his email to her and only feels the need to do so when dealing with issues of a truly valid and serious nature. SLAM!
Then, on the down-low I found out the BA also at this time responded back to Jabba saying that she was basically lying because there was no way in hell a call would have gone to her cellphone and her not getting it, because such a thing has never happened in the history of her service with us. Double SLAM!
Jabba retorted with the usual cowering back-tracking and bullshit. Going so far as saying it would "take weeks to pull phone records from the remote office" so she couldn't say for certain what the numbers were Puta called. The cow has no shame.
When I get back from lunch, Jabba is coming out of the Mafioso's office and running into the bathroom in a tizzy and I have an email from him telling me to stop by when I have a minute. I do, and he is about to go on a conference call so I have about two minutes. Not enough time to mount my crusade.
Mafioso: "Would you have an issue with maybe taking after hours calls on occasion. It wouldn't be like an every night thing, but when something comes up once in a while"
Yea, right... I'd have Rozz calling me on lunch almost every day when I did have my cell phone on me to ask me questions about excel spreadsheets and asking for me to stop by when I got back. Total bullshit that the cunt could have waited the thirty minutes for me to get back to look into. Or Jabba would call because someone was stuck in Citrix... yea, I don't have a laptop up my ass, nothing going to happen until I get back from lunch...
Me: "I wouldn't necessarily have an issue with it."
Mafioso: "Well, here we have all our managers and supervisors equipped with cellphones so they can be accessible in case of emergency situations. It's just part of the responsibility of the role"
Ok, when had I suddenly been given the title of "Manager" or "Supervisor"... and where besides Blockbuster or Wendy's does a manager make $17 an hour? I make the same as a payroll clerk. Are you seriously saying all this to me with a straight face? Oh, and how convenient, it's almost time for your conference call.
Me: "Before I could even say yes or no to anything there is a whole bunch of things that would need to be discussed and brought to the table and I am not sure we have the time right now to go through all of them. But, I definitely have some concerns that I would need to voice"
Mafioso: "What time are you out of here today?"
Me: "I leave at 4:00"
Mafioso: "Ok, well if I can't make time today, we'll talk tomorrow...."
Yea, right... just like all those other meetings we were supposed to have and never did. Right right right. Honestly, I do not even want him offering me any kind of sum of money to make things better and get me to do more for his company, and I will very professionally tell him that if he ever meets with me. I will tell him flat out that I do not enjoy working for his company, or being the gossip fodder for those cunts. The cunts who claim to be "so busy" yet they have an entire day to spend whispering to each other and composing emails to cause drama.
I have nothing to lose. And just like I felt when I sent that last "fuck you" email to that cow in payroll, it's how I felt there talking to him briefly and how I feel right now. I have absolutely nothing to lose by doing whatever the hell I want. They can't touch me. They can't threaten to take anything away from me. They can't do anything.
It's like I am playing chess and the most obvious move to checkmate is right there.. I can see it. I can win this. Because it is a competition, don't be mistaken. This is a battle between good and evil.
And I am almost sure of what I'd suspected for a few weeks now; that there may have been an informant of sorts that warned Rozz and Jabba about putting things in email or forwarding emails with their catty little commentary back and forth. They used to be relentless at doing that, and then it suddenly seemed to stop.
I think a little birdy on the outside might have said something, maybe not specific, but a warning advising them against it. The friend of my enemy, my enemy. No matter. I have the power of truth and the fucking decency and self-respect my mother fucking parents raised me with. What the fuck can these low-life pieces of shit do to me? It's all already been done... what else do ya got cunts?
By truth, I while living, have conquered the universe.