The Calm
So far the horror of last week has not (yet) found its way into this week. The constant henpecking and whining from my clients has been silent for the past day and a half. Though, I am sure my just mentioning that will doom me.
I had to drive out to our office in the suburbs today to retrieve my paycheck. This is the first month I can recall all summer that the 1st fell in the middle of the week and not on a weekend. Because the Boss won't get direct deposit, getting my check when it is due has been a complete fiasco. He refuses to pay whatever fees are involved with getting direct deposit up and running for us, so he instead chooses to inconvenience five people.
The drive out this morning, aside from the traffic, was very nice. The trees are really starting to change for autumn now and it is always a magical sight to me. I'd hoped to make it out to go hiking again before the end of the season. But, as usual with October 1st tomorrow, I am already immersed in the self-induced panic of Halloween.
I felt a bit of regret yet again about not being able to spend Halloween down in New Orleans. The drive in this morning reminded me of the road trip and I really felt an absence within me over not being able to relive it again. Escapism at its finest when there is nothing but road ahead. I've toyed with the idea of going back down there next October. Maybe as a 40th bday gift to myself. As silly as it may sound I think I would drive again as opposed to flying (the question is whether or not my truck would be capable in another year).
By December I will have my first (and worst interest rate wise) credit card paid off. Then it will be a long journey to pay off the twenty grand on the other card. It will be years no matter how I try to spin it in my mind. Best case scenario, 26 months to be exact. The thought of it is just depressing. And that is if I give most of my income to the beast. And I'm not sure I can continue to live the way I have the past several months with barely anything left by the last week of the month.
I've had a friend on me about applying for a job at his company. And as angry and depressed as my current job makes me. The idea of having to interview and start somewhere new makes me feel even more sick. He doesn't understand of course. He goes on new job interviews like normal people take trips to the grocery store. And every one of them seems to literally throw a few more hundred thousand dollars at him every time. That annoyance alone is enough for me to dismiss is urgency.
Let's be frank, I just don't want to work at all. Getting another job in my mind is equal to moving from one pile of shit to the next. It's still shit.
I had to drive out to our office in the suburbs today to retrieve my paycheck. This is the first month I can recall all summer that the 1st fell in the middle of the week and not on a weekend. Because the Boss won't get direct deposit, getting my check when it is due has been a complete fiasco. He refuses to pay whatever fees are involved with getting direct deposit up and running for us, so he instead chooses to inconvenience five people.
The drive out this morning, aside from the traffic, was very nice. The trees are really starting to change for autumn now and it is always a magical sight to me. I'd hoped to make it out to go hiking again before the end of the season. But, as usual with October 1st tomorrow, I am already immersed in the self-induced panic of Halloween.
I felt a bit of regret yet again about not being able to spend Halloween down in New Orleans. The drive in this morning reminded me of the road trip and I really felt an absence within me over not being able to relive it again. Escapism at its finest when there is nothing but road ahead. I've toyed with the idea of going back down there next October. Maybe as a 40th bday gift to myself. As silly as it may sound I think I would drive again as opposed to flying (the question is whether or not my truck would be capable in another year).
By December I will have my first (and worst interest rate wise) credit card paid off. Then it will be a long journey to pay off the twenty grand on the other card. It will be years no matter how I try to spin it in my mind. Best case scenario, 26 months to be exact. The thought of it is just depressing. And that is if I give most of my income to the beast. And I'm not sure I can continue to live the way I have the past several months with barely anything left by the last week of the month.
I've had a friend on me about applying for a job at his company. And as angry and depressed as my current job makes me. The idea of having to interview and start somewhere new makes me feel even more sick. He doesn't understand of course. He goes on new job interviews like normal people take trips to the grocery store. And every one of them seems to literally throw a few more hundred thousand dollars at him every time. That annoyance alone is enough for me to dismiss is urgency.
Let's be frank, I just don't want to work at all. Getting another job in my mind is equal to moving from one pile of shit to the next. It's still shit.