Closer
Another day. No responses. I cannot wrap my head around this. Logically it does not make any sense. It would make more sense to say my name is on a list somewhere... a blacklist. How can it be after this many months and I've found nothing?
I'm sure all my dear friends have many great explanations for it. All being my fault, of course. Or the fault of the cats. There's no other explanation for how wrong this has all gone. The only constant factors are me and the cats.
Then again, I'm not getting callbacks from people who don't even know I have the cats. Which means it is me.
People all over the world are having the joy of dying today. All their problems gone. Here I am, suffering in this same stupid shit again and again and again. Day after day. Apparently this is also my fault for not having the guts to blow my own head off.
But, as my mother keeps saying, I'm sure this was all "meant to be"...
I'm sure all my dear friends have many great explanations for it. All being my fault, of course. Or the fault of the cats. There's no other explanation for how wrong this has all gone. The only constant factors are me and the cats.
Then again, I'm not getting callbacks from people who don't even know I have the cats. Which means it is me.
People all over the world are having the joy of dying today. All their problems gone. Here I am, suffering in this same stupid shit again and again and again. Day after day. Apparently this is also my fault for not having the guts to blow my own head off.
But, as my mother keeps saying, I'm sure this was all "meant to be"...