the boozehaul rides again!
So there's this really cool thing that you probably don't even know about, and it's called the BoozeHaul. All it takes is two degenerate Albequerquians moving to a new apartment in The Point (that's Greenpoint, of course) and renting a U-Haul. Then, once they've moved all their crap in, they leave the futon in the back of the U-Haul.
Next:
Take three-fourths forties and Sparks, and one-fourth equal parts Jack Daniels and tequila, mix with youth and recklessness, dress in formal wear, stir in back of U-Haul, drive around town, rename BoozeHaul.
Additional possibilities include parking the BoozeHaul so that no one need stay sober and drive. This option risks neighborly complaints on account of the BoozeHaul's volume and inherent sketchiness. This option also can (and has) attracted the attention of The Fuzz (see also: "the police"). Depending on the variety of police officer, the very nature of the BoozeHaul may only confuse these simple creatures and the BoozeHaul's participants will likely walk away with a modest request to move their vehicle. This will be impossible when it is discovered that the battery is dead. Luckily, the fuzz will have already driven off, having, for some reason, taken the word of the BoozeHaul's participants that they would indeed move their Vehicle of Awesomeness.
In most cases, the aforementioned degenerate Albequerquians will not have returned their BoozeHaul to the "U-Haul" company from which they rented it. The two lost causes will then observe, "The only way to enjoy a U-Haul that's costing you five times as much as it should because you didn't return it and a parking ticket and probably the cleaning cost of the now alcohol-soaked interior.... is for the BoozeHaul to ride again!"
Next:
Take three-fourths forties and Sparks, and one-fourth equal parts Jack Daniels and tequila, mix with youth and recklessness, dress in formal wear, stir in back of U-Haul, drive around town, rename BoozeHaul.
Additional possibilities include parking the BoozeHaul so that no one need stay sober and drive. This option risks neighborly complaints on account of the BoozeHaul's volume and inherent sketchiness. This option also can (and has) attracted the attention of The Fuzz (see also: "the police"). Depending on the variety of police officer, the very nature of the BoozeHaul may only confuse these simple creatures and the BoozeHaul's participants will likely walk away with a modest request to move their vehicle. This will be impossible when it is discovered that the battery is dead. Luckily, the fuzz will have already driven off, having, for some reason, taken the word of the BoozeHaul's participants that they would indeed move their Vehicle of Awesomeness.
In most cases, the aforementioned degenerate Albequerquians will not have returned their BoozeHaul to the "U-Haul" company from which they rented it. The two lost causes will then observe, "The only way to enjoy a U-Haul that's costing you five times as much as it should because you didn't return it and a parking ticket and probably the cleaning cost of the now alcohol-soaked interior.... is for the BoozeHaul to ride again!"