(no subject)
Sometimes I think about doing myself in. It'd be easy, quick, and best of all, it would all finally be over. There'd be a lot of drama, at first (I wouldn't have to deal with any of it, so what do I care?), but as I disappear into the past, people would just keep moving forward, and eventually forget that I was even here.
I just want things to change (for the better, of course), or to stop going through the same bland deal every single day of these years, one way or another.
I don't have the foggiest idea of what I want to do with this life. I have hobbies and interests, and I have absolutely no desire or intention of turning any of them into a career. I haven't found the road after all of these years, so perhaps, deep down, I don't want anything at all.
I try to picture how I'm living years from now, and all I see is me sitting there alone in a messy, under-decorated room staring off into space, coasting under mankind's radar, nothing to offer anyone, unable to relate to anyone else. Just like I am, right now.
I'm just a blank. A dud. I hate being like this, and I want it to stop.
I just want things to change (for the better, of course), or to stop going through the same bland deal every single day of these years, one way or another.
I don't have the foggiest idea of what I want to do with this life. I have hobbies and interests, and I have absolutely no desire or intention of turning any of them into a career. I haven't found the road after all of these years, so perhaps, deep down, I don't want anything at all.
I try to picture how I'm living years from now, and all I see is me sitting there alone in a messy, under-decorated room staring off into space, coasting under mankind's radar, nothing to offer anyone, unable to relate to anyone else. Just like I am, right now.
I'm just a blank. A dud. I hate being like this, and I want it to stop.