You should probably study up on this before we call you again. -Disney Imagineering
Ok, so I'm hopefully gonna kill that political conversation of my previous post by writing a new inane one. I hate this administration, but I hate political discussions more. Its not because I dislike hearing different points of view, you can't learn and shouldn't believe anything that comes from only one point of view. Its that thinking about this crap gets me really frustrated and emotional; simply put it makes me sick to my stomach and ruins my mood. In case anyone was surprised by my politics, have I failed to mention that I live in Berkeley? I mean seriously, I live in the home of MoveOn.org.
But moving off those topics, what in the world did I mean by that weird "Elevate your Game" picture two posts ago? That apparently is how Qualcomm is trying to entice new recruits. I know this because they tried to recruit me at Cal's latest CAREER FAIR! I like how people at career fairs see my GPA only and don't worry whether my brains actually match those for the job. I bet this is how smart women with huge boobs feel, or maybe its completely different I really don't know.
It seems the most important thing at Qualcomm now is making a 3D graphics-capable cellphone to compete with the Nokia NGage Ear-Taco. I happen to have three inside informants at Qualcomm, but to keep their identities secret I shall only refer to them by aliases.
My informants are, respectively, Sensitive Boy, Bad Boy, and that Other Boy. Bad Boy, as you probably assumed, is the leader of the game project; he basically bosses the Other Boy around for kicks. Sensitive Boy generally hides out in a corner making McDonalds-themed ringtones, nobody knows why.
Two things intrigue me about this DF3G, Digital Force 3rd Generation. The first is that it apparently has no buttons or speaker. I mean sure, taking those things away means you can have a much larger screen, but still... I'm just saying that if my phone has no buttons or speaker I might as well be using my telepathic powers, which really have been atrophying lately.
The second intriguing thing is how cool the program on the screen looks. Sure its just cheap Poser models, but I'm still impressed. My various informants have been telling me so far that the only programs currently running on the phone are a dancing peanut in a pink-spandex jumpsuit, and a shooting gallery game written by Other Boy in which you try to shoot at a bouncing picture of Bad Boy's face. So Qualcomm has my resume, meaning that possibly all but Pretty Boy could end up being employed there. We can only hope that Pretty Boy, like that one dude from N'Sync, will be squashed into a spacesuit and blasted off into space bound for a Lonely Planet.
So what else was at the fair? Pens! Oh so many pens. And novelty tape measures. Glossy folders. More Pens! And of course, the prerequisite at all career fairs, the Benjamin Franklin bobble-head dolls. I understand the pens, I can almost understand the tape measures, but I just can't comprehend the Ben Franklin bobble-heads. Only Ratheon had these and the dude manning the booth was disturbingly excited to give them away. And people took them! Why? What? Huh? I understand being a freak for shwag, but seriously, who wants a Ben Franklin bobble-head? And what does he have to do with Ratheon? I wish I knew but he wouldn't talk to me unless I took one, and I sure wasn't gonna take one. The mystery will live on.
I also talked to Sandia National Labs. They were so excited by me that they set me up to have an "interview" the next morning. Turned out it was basically a phone-interview except in person, meaning I had to wear pants but otherwise nothing different. Because of security clearances etc. they weren't at liberty to even tell me what the job is that I am apparently applying to. At the end of the interview, though, the interviewer suddenly got really serious and asked "Do you have any reservations of any kind about working in a facility doing research and design of nuclear weapons?" That's generally not the kind of question that I expect to get when I go in for an interview. Oh how sweet and naive I still am.
But moving off those topics, what in the world did I mean by that weird "Elevate your Game" picture two posts ago? That apparently is how Qualcomm is trying to entice new recruits. I know this because they tried to recruit me at Cal's latest CAREER FAIR! I like how people at career fairs see my GPA only and don't worry whether my brains actually match those for the job. I bet this is how smart women with huge boobs feel, or maybe its completely different I really don't know.
It seems the most important thing at Qualcomm now is making a 3D graphics-capable cellphone to compete with the Nokia NGage Ear-Taco. I happen to have three inside informants at Qualcomm, but to keep their identities secret I shall only refer to them by aliases.
My informants are, respectively, Sensitive Boy, Bad Boy, and that Other Boy. Bad Boy, as you probably assumed, is the leader of the game project; he basically bosses the Other Boy around for kicks. Sensitive Boy generally hides out in a corner making McDonalds-themed ringtones, nobody knows why.
Two things intrigue me about this DF3G, Digital Force 3rd Generation. The first is that it apparently has no buttons or speaker. I mean sure, taking those things away means you can have a much larger screen, but still... I'm just saying that if my phone has no buttons or speaker I might as well be using my telepathic powers, which really have been atrophying lately.
The second intriguing thing is how cool the program on the screen looks. Sure its just cheap Poser models, but I'm still impressed. My various informants have been telling me so far that the only programs currently running on the phone are a dancing peanut in a pink-spandex jumpsuit, and a shooting gallery game written by Other Boy in which you try to shoot at a bouncing picture of Bad Boy's face. So Qualcomm has my resume, meaning that possibly all but Pretty Boy could end up being employed there. We can only hope that Pretty Boy, like that one dude from N'Sync, will be squashed into a spacesuit and blasted off into space bound for a Lonely Planet.
So what else was at the fair? Pens! Oh so many pens. And novelty tape measures. Glossy folders. More Pens! And of course, the prerequisite at all career fairs, the Benjamin Franklin bobble-head dolls. I understand the pens, I can almost understand the tape measures, but I just can't comprehend the Ben Franklin bobble-heads. Only Ratheon had these and the dude manning the booth was disturbingly excited to give them away. And people took them! Why? What? Huh? I understand being a freak for shwag, but seriously, who wants a Ben Franklin bobble-head? And what does he have to do with Ratheon? I wish I knew but he wouldn't talk to me unless I took one, and I sure wasn't gonna take one. The mystery will live on.
I also talked to Sandia National Labs. They were so excited by me that they set me up to have an "interview" the next morning. Turned out it was basically a phone-interview except in person, meaning I had to wear pants but otherwise nothing different. Because of security clearances etc. they weren't at liberty to even tell me what the job is that I am apparently applying to. At the end of the interview, though, the interviewer suddenly got really serious and asked "Do you have any reservations of any kind about working in a facility doing research and design of nuclear weapons?" That's generally not the kind of question that I expect to get when I go in for an interview. Oh how sweet and naive I still am.