"He got a PhD for designing that chair ... yeah, I know" - Yong
This one's not all that funny, but not every week gets to be a winner.
Continuing where I left off last time, because my life does generally go in chronological order, I am now a member of the educated unemployed. This is a state which suits me well, if only I could relax. "But Greg, what about JPL?" Yes, this a question that I've been getting a lot lately and justifiably. The answer, short and sweet, is that they lost the funding. They were interviewing and intending to hire based on the expectation of a larger budget, and a need to have someone on the payroll quickly to justify the budget. Unfortunately, immediately after my interview they got word that instead of being increased their budget was decreased; they have less money now than before. It would appear Bush's extraplanatary initiatives, like his No Child Left Behind, are nice ideas with negative funding. I don't know that for sure (with regard to no child left behind I do) but it feels that way and I like having someone I already dislike be a target for my frustration. But they made it fairly clear that they would have hired me if they had funding, so my self esteem hasn't been tarnished. So that's that about that topic.
"What's it like being 'The Master'?" Well, it is a pretty sweet deal. You get to walk around with pride knowing "I don't have to take any more classes! I don't have to do any more homework! I don't have to wake up before noon!" Now, as I said last time, I'm still lurking around the darkened hallways in the name of helping my adviser. So far this week, though, I haven't done anything for my adviser in favor of scoping out possible companies to apply to and depriving others of their education by dropping in and chatting for hours.
The latest development from getting my masters is increasing pressure from my officemates to get the hell out. Currently all but one of the computers in the office, mine, is "public" and therefore available to run multi-day long simulations of fuel slosh in satalites. I don't really know why we need such detailed theoretical data on fuel slosh, but hey it makes pretty pictures and that's all that matters. They've had their eyes on my P3 500MHz 64meg ram machine all year, just salivating at the thought of the blazing computation speeds they'll get with it. Unable to contain themselves any longer, they have forced me to format my computer and, because new is always better, install Windows XP on it. I feel so dirty.
"But what of the project for your adviser?" Well, that's an interesting story, as it turns out laying off 75% of the lab/computer network support staff and demanding that the remaining 25% now accomplish 300% more than before by picking up the slack does not do good things for the generally sanity of that 25%. Granted the two guys making up that 25% didn't have much sanity to begin with and were never the most chipper sorts, though their sarcasm was entertaining, but the change is significant.
Before layoffs:
"Hey Ross! How's that Linux DIOCard driver coming along?"
"Hey Greg! Well, I'd like to have worked on that but the department chair couldn't figure out how to push the big green ON button on his 'broken' printer, you know how it goes. Serving the greatest minds at the top school in the nation takes priority, you understand."
After layoffs:
"Hey Ro.."
"If you're about to ask me about that DIOCard you better just turn back around! The prof. already came in here today asking about it and if I hear one more question about that goddamn DIOCard I'm gonna fucking shoot somebody!"
"Alrighty then! That answered all my questions for the week. See ya later, Ross!"
"I hope not."
So things are going. I've rediscovered the joy of napping on the lawn and sitting down to lunch with random girls. I wake up at 11am or later. I've got a hint of a tan going on. All in all life really ain't that bad, just not that funny. I'll be funny next week, I promise.
[Edit: added content] I'm all gradumicated but won't be receiving my diploma until December because students aren't allowed to graduate in summer. Berkeley has a thing called "Filing Fee", which is their last ditch effort to squeeze another $150 from graduates. "But what about student health insurance? You're still a 'student' and insurance can't be covered by $150." Its true, I have to buy student health insurance separately ... at a cost of $666. Not an altogether outrageous price, but for some reason it still feels downright evil.
Continuing where I left off last time, because my life does generally go in chronological order, I am now a member of the educated unemployed. This is a state which suits me well, if only I could relax. "But Greg, what about JPL?" Yes, this a question that I've been getting a lot lately and justifiably. The answer, short and sweet, is that they lost the funding. They were interviewing and intending to hire based on the expectation of a larger budget, and a need to have someone on the payroll quickly to justify the budget. Unfortunately, immediately after my interview they got word that instead of being increased their budget was decreased; they have less money now than before. It would appear Bush's extraplanatary initiatives, like his No Child Left Behind, are nice ideas with negative funding. I don't know that for sure (with regard to no child left behind I do) but it feels that way and I like having someone I already dislike be a target for my frustration. But they made it fairly clear that they would have hired me if they had funding, so my self esteem hasn't been tarnished. So that's that about that topic.
"What's it like being 'The Master'?" Well, it is a pretty sweet deal. You get to walk around with pride knowing "I don't have to take any more classes! I don't have to do any more homework! I don't have to wake up before noon!" Now, as I said last time, I'm still lurking around the darkened hallways in the name of helping my adviser. So far this week, though, I haven't done anything for my adviser in favor of scoping out possible companies to apply to and depriving others of their education by dropping in and chatting for hours.
The latest development from getting my masters is increasing pressure from my officemates to get the hell out. Currently all but one of the computers in the office, mine, is "public" and therefore available to run multi-day long simulations of fuel slosh in satalites. I don't really know why we need such detailed theoretical data on fuel slosh, but hey it makes pretty pictures and that's all that matters. They've had their eyes on my P3 500MHz 64meg ram machine all year, just salivating at the thought of the blazing computation speeds they'll get with it. Unable to contain themselves any longer, they have forced me to format my computer and, because new is always better, install Windows XP on it. I feel so dirty.
"But what of the project for your adviser?" Well, that's an interesting story, as it turns out laying off 75% of the lab/computer network support staff and demanding that the remaining 25% now accomplish 300% more than before by picking up the slack does not do good things for the generally sanity of that 25%. Granted the two guys making up that 25% didn't have much sanity to begin with and were never the most chipper sorts, though their sarcasm was entertaining, but the change is significant.
Before layoffs:
"Hey Ross! How's that Linux DIOCard driver coming along?"
"Hey Greg! Well, I'd like to have worked on that but the department chair couldn't figure out how to push the big green ON button on his 'broken' printer, you know how it goes. Serving the greatest minds at the top school in the nation takes priority, you understand."
After layoffs:
"Hey Ro.."
"If you're about to ask me about that DIOCard you better just turn back around! The prof. already came in here today asking about it and if I hear one more question about that goddamn DIOCard I'm gonna fucking shoot somebody!"
"Alrighty then! That answered all my questions for the week. See ya later, Ross!"
"I hope not."
So things are going. I've rediscovered the joy of napping on the lawn and sitting down to lunch with random girls. I wake up at 11am or later. I've got a hint of a tan going on. All in all life really ain't that bad, just not that funny. I'll be funny next week, I promise.
[Edit: added content] I'm all gradumicated but won't be receiving my diploma until December because students aren't allowed to graduate in summer. Berkeley has a thing called "Filing Fee", which is their last ditch effort to squeeze another $150 from graduates. "But what about student health insurance? You're still a 'student' and insurance can't be covered by $150." Its true, I have to buy student health insurance separately ... at a cost of $666. Not an altogether outrageous price, but for some reason it still feels downright evil.