Always keep hope alive...
I have not been having the best few days. Yesterday I took a nap in the living room while everyone else left to run errands or something. When I awoke I had the worst pain in my abdomen I have ever had. I was bent in half with pain and could not sit still. I had to keep walking around while bent in half. I refused to go to the hospital because they were the cause of most of my big problems anyway (the medical community I mean). The last time I was into the ER I was told that "we don't treat people like you" whatever that means and also "we don't give medication here, this is a hospital." I've never heard of anything so crazy!! If I'm ever dying please don't take me to the hospital? Finally I called an idiotic advice nurse who had an accent that made her very hard to understand and later spoke with a doctor and made an appointment for the next day which I didn't keep. I was praying while in pain and screaming for God to please "take me now if He wishes- I am ready". But He didn't and the agony went on for quite a long time (3-4 hours). So then the next day the bulk of the pain was gone, but I noticed a large lump in my stomach. It is likely a hernia or a tumor. I have an appointment scheduled for Monday. So I have not been in the best of spirits. I've been getting bitter and wanting to withdrawal from society and the public further. Then today I noticed a message on Face Book from a friend I haven't even spoken to in quite a while. I had thought that she probably had just forgotten all about me. It really cheered me up to hear from her and now I really feel much better (mentally not physically). So I am really glad I keep hope alive when things get bad and crazy. Just the smallest note from a friend can mean so much when things have turned to crap-o-la. So although most things are still crappy for me, at least I have hope that things can be better, and I hope they get better soon.