ooc meme stolen from faramir_hurin
1. Why don't we ever drop daisies on other countries to let them know that we love them? You, you’re crazy. Droppin’ flowers on some country don’t tell them we love them. Hell, you want love, drop soldiers down on Normandy for your country, THAT’S love.
2. Shouldn't women earn bachelorette's degrees? I don’t got nothin’ against skirts try’n to educate themselves, but it ain’t somethin’ you see in Philly much.
3. If you have to ask if her boobs are real, does it really matter? I can proudly state that no... No it does not.
4. Do the homeless have all the carts with functional wheels? What??
5. Can a person be scared "half to death" twice? Sure can, happens all the time.
6. If my dog attacked someone yesterday, do I say he sicked him or suck him? Sicked him. I should know, I got myself some good grammar skills.
7. Shouldn't the word "big" be ... bigger? Nah it’s good just the way it is.
8. Were Third World countries unhappy before television? Hell, we don’t even got television, why should Third World countries get it?
9. What if you finally "find yourself" and you're not that impressed? Hey, I know where I am, alright, pal? You don’t gotta lecture me on where I’m at.
10. Do you ever walk in and find your computer processing information? Are they plotting to overthrow us? What’s that?
11. What does "feng shui" mean in Chinese? Bull sh#$t? Nah, Bullshit’s Malarkey.
12. Are spells good worldwide, or do they lose power with distance? Spells like spellin’ bees? I never been in one.
13. So male gynecologists never get erect? Oooh ho ho! I bet they do, lookin’ up dame’s skirts all day.
14. Is it bad luck to run over a black cat to prevent it from crossing your path? Depends on if that cat pissed on my boot.
15. Why does God put all of the brilliant brains inside ugly heads? Is that what you heard?
16. Billy Graham said that Heaven is "a neverending family reunion". Isn't Hell the same? Dunno, but I ain’t goin’ there.
17. Why don't psychics ever win the lottery? Only soldiers win the lottery
18. Do porn stars have undress rehearsals? Ha!! I like the way you think, pal
19. When your palm itches, it means you're supposed to get money. What does it mean when your butt itches? Easy. You’re gonna get your ass kicked! Ha! I bet Krauts got themselves itchy butts.
20. If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High? Firs’ off, what’s Sweet N’ Low?